Young Writers Society

Howdy!

I’m going to review your work ☺

I’m not going to edit all the capital letters for you but there really are too many. They aren’t needed.

Okay, so the first thing I notice is the layout. It doesn’t really look like a poem more a paragraph. I’d suggest laying it out like this however you can adjust it to how you want. I’m also adding in punctuation as I feel it is necessary.

I no longer fear the idea of Hell;
Nor do I hope in Heaven.
A simple silver glint off a razorblade
Is what I hope for,
As well as fear
It signals the end of one nightmare
And the beginning of yet another
Long sleeves cover my scars;
A smile hides my pain.
My razorblade,
My saviour,
My silver destroyer,
My blood,
My crimson tears,
My bloody fears.

A simple silver glint off a razorblade

Hi! I'll be reviewing your poem today

I like the emotion put behind your poem, it seems like a very personal and sensitive piece.
However, i suggest you split up your poem into a quatrain format to make it easier to read, it ruins the flow of your poem, as in some parts there's random capitals at the beginning of a sentence but there's not breaks between them so it's confusing. Make sure to read over your work so it makes sense to you.

It's quite a short piece so there's not much to say, but i'd have liked it to be longer, to see the depth in why you've completely lost hope in a heaven and have no fear of hell, due to the intensity of the cutting? What depressed the character so much to choose a razorblade as a saviour?

Overall a good poem, with plenty of potential just edit it and see how the poem works. Also add more to it, for more effect. Keep writing! hope i was of help to you.
If you want or need another review you can message me or something


- Infinity x