Hatred

by Ladyequine91
  • January 27, 2006
  • Poetry
  • Lyrical

Why do you hate me?
Is it because I am different, or because i am not you?
Why do you hate my friends?
Is it because they are like me, or because they aren't like you?
Why do you hate the world?
Is it because it doesn't revolve around you?
Why do you like your "friends?"
Is it because they are mini versions of you?
Why are you so perfect?
Is it because you hate me, or because you aren't me?
With two addictions, one abortion, and a baby on the way,
You seem far from perfect to me.
Morals don't mean anything, it's all about "popularity."
I may not be "normal,"
But I know all about morals.
I'm sorry for not meeting your standards, but i have my own.
Even though I'm not old enough to drink or smoke, it's not like I'm going to!
I don't spend my weekends getting high like you,
You didn't know I knew that did you?
Don't try to lie, you know it's the truth.
Don't judge me because of who I am on the outside,
You should care about the inside.
Look at yourself, from the inside, out.
You're farther from perfect than all of us think.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
Angel17
Comment
Angel17 commented · Sat Jan 28, 2006 10:42 am

WOW, I can imagine saying that to some people! Good job

Random avatar
The Silent Aviator
Review
The Silent Aviator wrote a review · Sat Jan 28, 2006 6:42 am

Very good, Ladyequine! :)

I don't know enough about poetic structure or grammar to post a proper crit, but I know enough to realize that this is an awesome poem.

User avatar
Doubt
Review
Doubt wrote a review · Sat Jan 28, 2006 12:12 am

Ladyequine91 wrote:Why do you hate me?
Is it because I am different, or because i am not you?
Why do you hate my friends?
Is it because they are like me, or because they aren't like you?
Why do you hate the world?
Is it because it doesn't revolve around you?
Why do you like your "friends?"
Is it because they are mini versions of you?
Why are you so perfect?
Is it because you hate me, or because you aren't me?
With two addictions, one abortion, and a baby on the way,
You seem far from perfect to me.
Morals don't mean anything, it's all about "popularity."
I may not be "normal,"
But I know all about morals.
I'm sorry for not meeting your standards, but i have my own.
Even though I'm not old enough to drink or smoke, it's not like I'm going to!
I don't spend my weekends getting high like you,
You didn't know I knew that did you?
Don't try to lie, you know it's the truth.
Don't judge me because of who I am on the outside,
You should care about the inside.
Look at yourself, from the inside, out.
You're farther from perfect than all of us think.


Alright. Only lines I'd recomend revising are:

"Is it because they are mini versions of you?" - This line is good and fits well, I think it just needs a little rephrasing.

"Even though I'm not old enough to drink or smoke, it's not like I'm going to!" - This line seems a little childish?

"You're farther from perfect than all of us think" - That also needs a little bit of rephrasing. "You're far from perfect..." maybe?

Other than that I liked it.



Beware of advice—even this.
— Carl Sandburg