Hey JadeLous!
Here's your review, as requested. I really enjoyed reading this poem, and it put a smile on my face.
I know you said that you intended for it to be relatable, and I definitely felt that.
One thing that came up for me:
We've got energy.
To search Web M.D.
I found it a bit interesting that the first thing the narrator mentioned was WebMD. Don't get me wrong, I love WebMD, but I wouldn't go on it just for the heck of it.
I think the one comment I would make about as a poem as a whole is that there could be more specificity. Some of the lines felt a bit stilted, like:
It will break my heart.
I can't add to cart.
For instance, what is the narrator trying to buy?
Also, while I'm not sure how much it matters, I sort of thought that this poem could benefit from a frame story, like why are they slowly losing service?
Great job with this. Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions or want anything clarified!
Best,
Elinor
Points: 1630
Reviews: 1260
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