Young Writers Society

Hey! K1553 Here with a review.

I think you made the most out of this challenge. You were able to describe a character very well, even in few sentences, and even if all of them started with the same word.
I like how you used black to convey different meanings. The way I saw it, first it was the girl, her personality and her demeanor. Then black meant difficulty and evil at school. After that, it morphed into a color to describe the girl's magick.
I don't know if you intended it this way, but as I see it the last paragraph can be interpreted in two ways. The first is that the girl literally practiced witchcraft. The second is that her magick was something more; it was something within her. Maybe she was literally seeking revenge on those girls in some way? I don't know. But I enjoyed the ambiguity that I perceived in the last lines.
I would only go so far as to criticize one sentence: "Black letters created poems." I felt that it was out of place in the school setting, because school to her did not mean somewhere good or full of art, or somewhere where she good express herself. To me poetry is just that, and does not have a a place in such a negative environment. You could have used a sentence that described school more.
But other than that, it was a terrific short story. I love writing challenges.

High Lady shadows, I do not under stand ho this girl is in the story I think that you nee to describe her but a prat from that it was good,:D

Hi there,

I'll do nit-picks (and mention nice moments) as I read through it, then talk about it overall in a couple of categories:

in which she sat on the edge

Black was her happy place, but school wasn't; off she went.

Black waswere the wings of chaos

Hey there LadyShadows,
Myjaspercat here to leave you a review.

Black socks were pulled from an oak dresser. Black velvet blankets covered her bed, in whichwhere she sat on the edge, delicately putting the socks on her feet; they reached her knees. Black mascara sharpenedPersonally, I don't really think that sharpened is the right word here her lashes, matching the color of her soul, and they were as long as the list of people she hated. Black colored her lips. Black converse concealed her feet. Black was her happy place, but school wasn't; off she went. 

Black ink decorated white paper with pointless problems and fruitless sentences. Black paint covered blank canvases. Black letters created poems. Black words spewed from the hateful mouths of girls.I'm a little confused by this. How does one see the actual color of the words. I understand what your trying to do here but I don't really think it works that well. But then again it could be just me. Black was the color of their hearts. Black were the tears that fell; she felt so alone. 

Black is the cat that followed her home as Autumn leaves fell. Black lips formed a smile; she picked him up and took him home. Black were the shoes that rested on the floor. Black were the socks that revealed pale legs. Black was the stain that exposed pink lips. <-that is the third time you mentioned her 'black' lips. At this point it's just becoming a bit repetitive so watch out for that.

Black shaded the sky that Halloween night, and the moon illuminated the atmosphere with its ghostly light. Black silence filled the air. Black candles lit a darkened room. Black were the words she chanted. Black was the magick <-there's no 'k' at the end of magic. she performed. Black was the wings of chaos. Black was the cloak of nearing death. Black was the taste of sweet, sweet revenge.