Death

Hey, this is Cyr back to review more of your work. I clearly can't use my usual methods because of how the format of poems just kind disagrees with it, so I'll just skip to my general thoughts. Before I get into that I'll just tell you that I don't really know as much about poetry as I do regular, narrative-style stories. Basically, I barely know what I'm doing, so keep that in mind.

You may want to keep a closer eye on your syllable counts going forward. I know how hard it is to edit a poem, so I don't think that it's worth going through and doing that here, but just be aware of that in the future.

This poem brings to mind, for me, images of isolated images of crowded places, like a cropped image or even a tunnel-vision effect. Death looks more human, for me too, and childlike. that's likely brought on by the line "Come out and play" as being said by death. It all feels like the subject is alone in a place full of people and things, which could be spun as a theme. You could say that when death comes, the worldly people and objects don't matter, but I doubt that was what was on your mind when you wrote this. At least, if it was, it was something more subconscious, "on the backburner" if you will.

Anyway, as I said, I don't typically read, let alone review, poetry, but I'll occasionally give it a shot for the heck of it.

(side note, it's really fun to read this while listening to "I see fire" from that one Hobbit movie, I have no idea why.)

(Also, if you've seen Captain Marvel, you know that Goose is going to defeat Thanos) (that has nothing to do with anything, I just had to spread the word)

I think it is very nice. I'm more of a descriptive person myself but love your work. P.S The sweatpants thing might be a bit much

I think it is very nice. I'm more of a descriptive person myself but love your work. P.S The sweatpants thing might be a bit much

Hey Jade!!

Its amazing!

I'm not sure if it would be considered a poem though. Try to put some similes in it, maybe it will help. The words you used really bring it out. I feel you have a great talent in writing. All your work seems so amazing (JELLY) lol. The grammar is okay but there is a few mistakes in it. Either than that it is great.

Keep it up!

Your friend Anma

This is so great!