Bracelet

Yo. Okay, this poem isn't bad. Actually, it is quite good. Can I be honest with you? When I first read the few lines of this poem I thought it was going to be cheesy. But then you surprised me as I went farther into it.

When you add "I was wearing my favorite bracelet. The one you gave me when you told me you loved me" put some space. Only if you want.

Like this:

I was wearing my favorite bracelet.

The one you gave me when you told me you loved me.

You were holding the key to our new house.

We had just began our new life together with you as my spouse.



I was wearing my favorite bracelet.

The one you gave me when you told me you loved me.

You said he was more than a friend,

but he was the man who had just lost his wife.

I told you I loved you and soon you calmed down.

I just thought it was a new trend.



I was wearing my favorite bracelet. etc...





Just a suggestion. If you don't like this then that's fine. Thanks for the good poem.

Hello! Tigerlilly here to review!

Okay, so I like the concept you have put forth, and the repetition where you say,
"I was wearing my favorite bracelet.
The one you gave me when you told me you loved me."
I thought it worked well in this poem. Your poem has a strong beginning that really hooked me in and made me want to read it, as well as a strong ending, which is just as important. One thing I would like to see is more depth and description of whats going on. Of course, if you want to keep it vague, that's totally up to you. It's your poem, after all.

Overall, this was pretty good. I really enjoyed it, and for a first poem, it was great! I hope you have an awesome day, and keep writing my friend. I look forward to reading more of your works.

I love your poem and it is like a story where a women get abused by her husband. In a poem they include emotions and feelings so you should add that to your poem how she feels. This is important so it help the reader understand what is going on and how she feels. Also I like the way it rhyme and organize. "I guess you don't love me anymore

because that bracelet is no more." I like the way you keep saying she keep wearing the bracelet and in the end i don't know what happen to the bracelet.