Published November 15, 2008
A brown eyed boy,
with an adorable laugh,
His smile fills my heart with joy.
A brown eyed boy,
with glasses and and a crooked smile,
He fills my heart with joy. 
G. T. N.
I know it's not very good, at all, but it was my first attempt at poetry.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,456 Literary Works • 674,469 Reviews
I completely agree with Kaylyn. I just have something more to add: you should not add smileys to your works. They do make the reading more fun, but they are distracting, and so we can't focus on your writing.
So good luck with this!
Okay, you definately need to add more to this poem. It isn't substantial to have only this much in that type of poem. Be more descriptive. Your repeating half of your poem. You repeat "The Brown eyed boy" twice and "He fills my heart with joy" twice. This would be not as bad except for the fact that you only have 6 lines. It could have potential, it just needs to be added to is all. Good luck and keep writing.