Starkeeper: Beyond the Red Halo [Chapter One]

by LMJRayner

Published May 9, 2016

In Novels

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-CHAPTER ONE-

-BORN OF THE STARS-

In space, darkness claims us all. It hides beneath a thin veil. Suffocating everything that dare swim through its lake. The stars are merely there to trick you, to take hold of your attention whilst the darkness squeezes tighter around your throat.

That’s what Master Rychek thought as he looked through the view screen at the black hole that was tearing apart a star. Tendrils of orange fire circled the empty blackness as the singularity pulled it apart, like pulling the thread of a worn jumper. It unravelled. Master Rychek was in charge of Special Operations for Star Command. A secret sect used only for experimental research. Deep in uncharted space he was given free rein to do as he pleased. As long as his research was successful. And no man had the determination that Master Rychek had.

His wrinkled eyes flared as the star disappeared, imbuing the black hole with a red halo. A halo of star fire. He imagined himself floating in the centre, his arms out wide embracing the darkness as it was consumed by the light. It was as if he was the maker at the beginning of creation. He was everything and nothing and he had the choice to bring life or take it away. The corner of his mouth twitched as he thought of it. He would be all powerful and those who would try to stop him would be obliterated.

To Master Rychek this wasn’t a dream or a fantasy. This was tangible. This was something he had been looking for and he had finally found it. His fingers crept ever closer but it lies just out of reach. He finished buttoning his uniform and made his way to the control room.

Prophet, a space station with thousands of crew members all keeping it alive. It edged closer to the black hole, ships were sent out to take readings and scans of the halo. The control room consoles flickered and beeped as he stepped in. The crew stood to attention and after a reluctant nod from their superior, returned to work. Soldiers wearing graphite black armour stood at the doors. They rarely said anything and they didn’t need to, they were there to shoot things and not much else. It made the scientists nervous. Their high collared lab coats weren’t going to stop a pulse rifle and that was the point.

“Sit rep.” Master Rychek said as he stood in the centre of the room. The flooring was slightly higher and it meant he had to look down on all his workers. Not that that mattered, he was a tall man, broad shouldered with fierce eyes that dared questioning.

“Our latest projections suggest that Alpha-Nine…” Alpha-Nine being the designation given to the black hole. “Is in a state of total flux. Our instruments can’t identify the singularity with any detail. ” Jolak said. He was a Shatak, a blue scaled humanoid with a serrated nose and ears. They had large eyes that took up a hefty portion of their face. Star Command was nothing if not diverse, even if some of these races weren’t employed by choice. Especially Jolak, his knowledge of black holes and scientific phenomenon were second to none. Master Rychek felt that the ranks of Star Command shouldn’t be filled with the dregs of the galaxy, his prejudice being known throughout the fleet, an opinion the majority shared.

“Then get closer.” Master Rychek said, impatiently grinding his teeth.

“If we get any closer we could be risking damage to the space station.” Jolak shivered as he spoke. His body wasn’t attuned to the atmosphere on the ship, even after all this time in deep space. But it was likely the Master’s gaze that made his skin bubble and cold.

“Send a ship instead, I want to know what lurks behind that halo.” Master Rychek said spinning around and exiting the control room. His mind dragged his attention away. Lieutenant Lowsky was waiting for him outside the main chamber, it was as if the Master could sense his anticipation. He was a spindly man, he walked beside the Master as if he was a dog. He wanted nothing more than his appreciation. And that’s the way it had always been, ever since Rego Lowsky joined special operations. His eyes were always wide, as if they were holding something behind their back. His teeth were straight and so was his nose, not ever being involved in a fight. Even in special training he somehow managed to avoid hand to hand combat drills. He prided himself on his merits, they were buttoned to his uniform and routinely shined every day.

“Master, the chamber is almost complete.” Lowsky said, trying to keep up with Master Rychek as he powered down the hallway.

“Good. I want you to oversee the final processes, nothing can get in the way.”

“Yes sir.” Lowsky nodded. He was trying to hide his sense of pride. The chamber was something that Star Command weren’t aware of. A project of Rychek’s design. If Alpha-Nine was the door. Then the chamber was the key. But it was missing something. It kept him up at night. The nightmare threw his mind into chaos. They tormented him and clouded his vision. Find me they whispered in his dreams, he follows them. Running through the darkness with his arms out wide. Waiting for the sweet embrace of those he follows to take him from this world.

Master Rychek could see them clearly, they were a tool, a tool for him to bask in the sunlight as he swallowed the universe.

Pantoo was a desolate planet. Arid wastelands that housed a small colony of people. It was a giant salvage yard. Salvage was all that was traded. Metal scrap, power conductors even whole ships if you were lucky enough to find one. It was simple, but out in uncharted space simple was a rare find. Pantoo had several moons, they were satellites of destruction. Ships without advanced navigation or advanced piloting skills seldom made it past Pantoo without taking damage. It was a net to catch the fish of the stars.

Kara chewed her hair as she weaved her ship through the debris, the latest catch was a small Covelian Cruiser that was unfortunate enough to come out of hyperspace right in the middle of Pantoo’s mighty grasp. She tapped buttons and pulled levers as the ship bobbed around the wreckage. Search lights illuminated the debris, she thumbed the controls to move the light.

“There has to be something worth selling.” Kara mumbled through her hair. Felix whistled as he jumped on her shoulders. FX-218 was his serial number, a robot monkey that was far more mischievous than the manual mentioned. She found him on one of her first salvage jobs. The temptation to sell him for a reasonable price was strong, but he won her over.

Lights ran up his arms, legs and body. Gold plates placed above them. His eyes were orange, they flickered now and then as if he was taking a picture. Most of these weren’t really design decisions, his internal power unit emanated blue light and gold plating was to help with over-heating issues. His entire purpose was to be able to speak and aid with repairs on a ship. The only problem was that they couldn’t get the speech system to work. They scrapped the FX model because it couldn’t say hello. Shame really because regarding repairs he was ideal. Space ships were constructed with ill intentions aimed at repair engineers. So many panels and auxiliary systems are hiding away behind masses of wires and vents. Repairs were almost impossible, especially on Kara’s ship.

Missy she called it, not the most heroic name given to a ship but she liked it. A ship has a soul Kara said, and Missy was the name it wanted. Kara stopped fiddling with the lights and moved closer.

“Is that an Elerium Core?” She said. Felix ran down her arm and pushed his face against the view screen. The cockpit was cramped. Barely enough room for the pilot let alone anything else. The consoles were a mess of wires and scraps of books. She spent more time in space than she did anywhere else, reading ancient stories of battles and conflict that spanned the galaxy. Books were hard to find in the far reaches of space. She was lucky enough to come across a transport ship for local admirers of such things. Unfortunately for them they had to pass through the Pantoo system.

Felix shrugged. He couldn’t see anything in the wreckage, anything that he was interested in anyway.

“Take the stick.” She said hopping out of the pilot’s seat. Felix’s eyes expanded and his tail whipped around in a circle as he jumped on the seat. He plugged his tail into the interface and took control of the ship. Kara zipped up her space suit, it was actually an old mining outfit, but she had made her own modifications. She hopped on one leg as she tried to put her boots on. She bumped against the walls and threw out a hand to keep herself steady. She fastened the helmet as she moved to the airlock.

“Keep her steady.” She said through the in-helmet comms. The ship floated beside the wreckage, shards of metal dinked against the sides as Felix edged them in a little closer. Kara double checked the oxygen stats and the suits integrity and then pulled the lever by the door. It jammed and wouldn’t move any further. You could hear her sigh from the vacuum of space. She picked up a hammer from her utility belt and banged on the control until it came loose. If the airlock isn’t depressurised before opening the door, she would be blasted out into space. She wasn’t scared more annoyed about the whole situation.

The lever gave way and depressurisation occurred, puffs of air fired into the room. Her feet started to rise above the ground. The artificial gravity didn’t work properly inside the airlock. She held onto the railings and reached out towards the big red button. Her boot pressed it and the door opened.

She swam through the derelict dust as if she belonged there. Most people see the darkness of space as something evil, or dangerous. Kara thought it more misunderstood. She always felt like she belonged when she was space walking. When there’s just a space helmet between her and certain death. It was freeing. She was born of the stars. She looked back at Pantoo as she swivelled in the air and basked in the reflected light. It looked much prettier from up here she thought as she adjusted her thrusters. The space suit was fitted with a modest jet propulsion unit. Little sensors inside the gloves dictated where the nozzles would aim.

She glided into the cockpit of the other ship and sifted through all the floating waste. The light turned off and then on. Kara shrugged her shoulders and carried on looking. They turned off again. She looked back at Felix and tried to catch his eye. He was pressed up against the view screen, his tail still embedded into the controls. Felix flicked the lights on and off, smiling at Kara. She shook her head.

“Will you cut that out?” She said, waiting for the lights to turn on again before she turned around. They did and she carried on looking. As she moved closer to the main cabin the lights turned off and on again, she shrugged her shoulders. Felix endeavoured to annoy her as much as he could. It made the days shorter. She smiled as she brushed her hand across the burnt remains of the ship.

The oxygen canisters were the first to go, a large chunk of rock jutting out from the system. The ship exploded into flames before being silenced by the vacuum of space. She rummaged around looking for the Elerium Core, they were almost always the first to go when a ship crashed. Most ships have several Elerium Crystals in the heart of the power system. They were very valuable but also very volatile, this meant finding one in a wreckage like this was as likely as watching a Snigbut win a fight against a Kramon. Very rare. Especially since the Kramon is a sea creature the size of a small city and a Snigbut spent most of its time hanging from trees, eating fruit flies.

She brushed off the ash and wiped her helmet, the light from the ship peeked over her shoulder and smiled with delight along with her. The core was intact, it defied all logic, the ship was burnt to a crisp, how did this survive? She didn’t care how, all she cared about was the fact she had it in her hands and she didn’t have to pry it out of anyone else’s.

“Felix, we’re going to be eating well for months.” She said, licking her lips. She hadn’t had a proper meal in weeks. Felix jumped up and down, he skipped on the console, flicking random switches with his tiny toes. The ships internal and external lights danced together as they were messed around with. Kara wedged the core in her utility belt and pushed off the wall with her feet. She dodged her head and arms as she cleared the debris and linked onto the airlock.

Kara unclipped her helmet and hanged it on the back of the pilot’s seat. Felix hopped on top, he closed his eyes and held out his hands. Kara pulled the core out and rested it in his little palms. He opened his eyes, they grew wider than possible and he pressed them against the core as if trying to look through it. His metal eyes grazed down the faint green glow, he got to the end and licked it. Kara snatched it off him in a playful manner. He tilted his head and jumped at her. They twirled around and fell to the ground. Kara laughed as did Felix. His throat buzzing and beeping, it sounded like an animal’s laughter. A glitch in his circuitry.

The console started beeping and a red light glazed the room. Kara slowly stopped laughing as she pulled herself up. The scanners were picking something up. It didn’t matter though she could see what it was detecting. A ship was careening towards them, its engines fried and navigational systems caput. It was heading straight for them without care or attention. The pilot had lost control, the ships systems being hit into overdrive during hyperspace and with damaged cooling modules, that wasn’t a good mixture. Kara was going to have to think and think fast. Especially with an Elerium Core tucked in her belt.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Costa
Review
Costa wrote a review Review · May 29, 2016

You've a very interesting story cooking here, if this chapter is any indication. Your descriptions were very much on point and painted a clear picture, and you also gave a very deep look into the character's personalities and desires.
Do keep in mind that some people COULD argue that you gave too much info in one chapter. On the other hand, what's "too much" for one can be "just right" for others. I didn't feel overwhelmed but, to be safe, it could behoove you to curb yourself in order to keep the plot accessible to folks.

The plot itself seems to be flowing slowly but, of course, this is the first chapter. Personally, I enjoyed it as I like getting a grasp on how things are normally before it all goes down. The contrast between Rychek and Kara was nice - an old man with aspirations of ultimate power(?) and a scavenger looking to make ends meet.
That being said, I think the way you switched between one and the other was too abrupt. One second, we're with Rychek and, then, we're over by Patoo with Kara the very next line. Isn't there a way for you to make that transition flow a bit more smoothly?

On the technical side, I didn't notice any major issues aside from the sudden POV switch but there's one thing to be pointed out: your dialogue tags.
Specifically, you shouldn't write them like this:

“Take the stick.” She said hopping out of the pilot’s seat.


First off, you don't capitalize the tag (outside of names, of course) if it's a dialogue tag. Also, when you're adding a dialogue tag, the quote should end with a comma.

Thus, the phrase would be written like this: "Take the stick," she said, hopping out of the pilot's seat.

Mind, if the tag isn't a dialogue one, then this doesn't apply. Like so:

"Take the stick." Kara hopped out of the pilot's seat. <-- Nothing connecting the quote to what follows, so the phrases are standalone.

You can get more info here: Punctuation within Dialogue

Finally, when writing in bite-sized phrases, make sure you keep an eye out to avoid repeating structures back-to-back. Take a look here:

She hopped on one leg as she tried to put her boots on. She bumped against the walls and threw out a hand to keep herself steady. She fastened the helmet as she moved to the airlock.


See what I mean? You go "She did X. She did Y. She did Z." and while that's not wrong in the slightest, doesn't it feel kind of janky? Concise writing doesn't mean stunted so, with that in mind, why not connect these lines?

"She hopped on one leg as she tried to put her boots on, bumping against the walls and throwing out a hand to keep herself steady. Fastening the helmet, she moved to the airlock."

While it's longer, doesn't it flow smoothly? The past continuous is your friend here.

Regardless, the overall story is pretty dang interesting and I hope you'll carry on with it!

Cheers!

Thanks for the review. Very informative, it is the first draft so these sort of things are to be expected. The change in POV would usually have a series of dotted lines but I forgot when uploading it. And the dialogue punctuation is just a bad habit of mine. I'm about 20 chapters into this so I'm getting to the latter stages of the story. Thanks again.

LMJ

User avatar
yizhongt
Review
yizhongt wrote a review Review · May 12, 2016

Hey there, yizhongt here to leave a review. As a fan of the science-fiction genre, I really loved this piece you have written. The world and the characters you've introduced so far has kept me wanting to know more about the universe you have created. The story flowed very well, but keep in mind you should put adequate spacing between the Master's scene and Kara's scene as they looked at first to be one in the same. Now for some minor corrections.

{This was something he had been looking for and he had finally found it. His fingers crept ever closer but it lies just out of reach. }

There should be a comma after for and before and in the first sentence. There also should be a comma before but in the second sentence.

{The crew stood to attention and after a reluctant nod from their superior, returned to work.}

It's stood at attention, not stood to attention.

{Arid wastelands that housed a small colony of people.}

The arid wastelands housed a small colony of people. I feel that this sentence flows much better.

Besides the corrections above, I don't see any other mistakes.

I really loved Kara so far. I want to see more of her. Can't wait for the next chapter. Keep writing!

PS: If you are interested, check out my sci-fi story:

Starlight: Chapter 1 (Part I)



When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave the world wondering how you did it.
— Grace Helbig