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Young Writers Society


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Bastion: Barracuda - Chapter Three - The Devil's Marauder

by LMJRayner


-Bastion: Barracuda-

-Chapter Three-

-The Devil's Marauder-

The lights flickered and the ship shuddered as it tried to regain its composure. The Bastion cried out, the ship bent and cracked under the pressure but held together. The hull was breached, the tip of the projectile smashed into the ship and penetrated straight through into the cargo hold. If it had exploded then the ship would have shattered into a million pieces that would orbit around the blue planet but it didn’t, it wasn’t supposed to. During the ensuing confusion they made their move. The tip of the projectile spat pressurised air around the base and then popped off. Lines were thrown from inside and four men glided down them onto the cargo deck. Their boots heavy and making a mark on the skin of the floor. They were heavily armoured and were wearing respirators in case of depressurisation. Liz was on the floor, her vision blurred by the dust and debris around her. The ship had taken a beating and she was in the middle of it all. Harvard grabbed her by the arms and pulled her up.

“We have to move.” He said, he was quicker to react to the danger than she was. They ran and hid behind cover to gain their bearings. Harvard peeked over one of the crates and spied on the invaders. Their masks were intimidating, large black eyes and dreadlock like tubes coming from the back. They created a perimeter, finding Gomez on the floor cowering from the intruders, they grabbed him and pushed him into the centre. One of them said something into his wrist communicator and then they looked up at the crashed ship. Another soldier emerged from the base, he slid down the rope quick and without fear of injury. His mask was similar to the others but white paint was splashed carelessly onto it, the armour he was wearing was damaged and scarred, a sign reminding those that wish to challenge him that they wouldn’t be the first. He stepped forwards and grabbed the kid by the throat. He gestured as if he was sniffing him, a hunter in space. Gomez was crying and trying to push himself away, but he was weak and without courage. The man pulled off his mask and snarled at the boy, his short grey hair was streaked with a large claw mark and one of his eyes was completely white. He was an ugly man, an intimidating man, a man without conscience.

“What is going on?” Liz said.

“Shhh, be quiet, I don’t know yet but it doesn’t look good.” Harvard said.

The leader of the group grabbed Gomez by the throat and pulled him up into the air, his feet dangling in the dust.

“Where is your communicator?” He growled, Gomez’s eyes rolled and his head slumped. A coward fainting in the presence of power. He was a marauder in space, the Pirates of Pura IV. His name, Barracuda, fearsome in size and appearance. He sighed as he let go of the boy, he would deal with him later. His attention was taken away as was the groups. Coughs and splutters could be heard from the top gantry. One of the men aimed his wrist at the upper barrier and fired a high coil wire, the end branded with a grappling claw. It grabbed onto the gantry bar and it yanked him into the air.

“Oh no.” Harvard whispered.

“What?” Liz said, still too afraid to peek and have a look for herself.

Frank forced his eyes open, the pirates trying to take advantage of the crash and take over. The cockpit was flashing red and the console was going haywire. His first thought was Rocky. He jumped to his feet and grabbed hold of her, she was laying back on her chair and flinched when he bundled over to her.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine, what the hell happened?”

“Something hit the ship.”

“Then why are we still alive, a missile that size would have destroyed us.” She said, rubbing her leg, a soft cut grazing it.

“I don’t think it was a missile.” Frank said, he brushed his arm across the main console, removing the dust and debris. He tapped a few buttons, the lights flickered but not doing anything. The intercom buzzed as he tried to concentrate. He assumed it was one of the crew asking the same questions he was. Rocky got up and pressed hold of the button. The light flashed green, the sound of laughter scratched through the filter. Frank turned around and focused on it.

“This ship has seen better days.” Barracuda said, his throat filled with glass and metal. “I am taking over this ship and all of its cargo. Relinquish control and there will be no bloodshed.” Frank seethed with anger, he has come across people like this before and they are violent, the type of person to always choose bloodshed. He pushed towards the intercom and breathed into it.

“You’ll have to take it from me.” Frank growled, Rocky moved off and noticed that the console was working again. She pressed a few buttons and the display emerged, she took a sharp breath in.

“I think you should reconsider the offer.” Barracuda said with a smug confidence.

“Yeah and why is that?” Frank said, waiting for another egotistical response.

“Frank.” Rocky said. Frank looked around, the security footage from the cargo hold was displayed on the front viewer. Barracuda and his men were standing around a woman. Rocky rolled her finger, and the camera zoomed in. He had a gun pointed to Doc’s head! Frank squeezed hard on the back of the pilot’s seat. He reluctantly pressed the intercom again.

“You win.” Frank said.

“Tell the rest of your crew to stand down, I don’t want to find them all hiding and waiting to take their chances with us.” Barracuda said. Frank sighed and lightly pushed down on the ship wide intercom system.

“All crew, stand down, there is no point fighting, they are too strong. Harvard and Liz give yourself in. It wouldn’t be Wise to rock the boat.” Frank said. The message hopefully being understood by them. Harvard swore to himself, his hands tightly grasped his pulse pistol. He was loyal to Frank and listened to him. He took his side arm out of its holster and then placed it underneath the crate. He stood up from behind the crate with his hands behind his head. Liz was more hesitant, Harvard nodded telling her it would be okay. She followed suit. Two of the pirates came and apprehended them and took what weapons they had on them.

“This was a bad idea.” Doc said, her head being held up by Barracuda. He snarled at her. “Frank is going to kill you, your whole team aren’t going to make it out of here alive.” He gritted his teeth and she spat in his face. He threw her to the ground and struck her with the back of his hand. He snorted and then gestured to one of his men to restrain her. He then made his way to the cockpit to meet Frank. But Frank wasn’t going to sit down and take it. He pulled out his side knife, it was about seven inches of pure titanium steel alloy, and strong enough to cut the tusks off an elephant or disembowel a great white shark, but this tool was going to be used for a different fish. He placed it under the computer console and stood in the doorway, waiting for the predator to become prey.

The engine room was in shock, the impact had ripped most of the panels off the wall and shards of metal were sticking out of all corners. Wise’s eyes opened to the sight of his baby crying out in pain. He tried to stand up but there was a metal pipe sticking out of his stomach. He yelled out in pain as he tried to move, not noticing it. It tore the flesh slightly and he sat straight back down. He looked at it in confusion. What the hell was going on? The lights sparked as the engine pulsated with energy, the protective shield around the base of the engine pylon was damaged and it was leaking energy. He was losing blood and if he didn’t act soon he would lose consciousness, which would mean the end of him. He sat there for a few seconds and regained his composure. The metal pipe had to be removed, but it was the only thing that was stopping the blood. The intercom crackled inside the engine room, the voices were muffled and there was a lot of static noise disguising the voices. He could hear Franks voice pierce through the mixed signal.

“…stand down, there’s no point fighting…give yourself in…Wise…rock the boat…” The intercom crackled again this time a spark broke through the speaker. Wise read between the lines, but rocking the boat was going to be harder than he thought. He wasn’t sure what was going on but it wasn’t good. If he didn’t reapply the shielding, soon radiation would start spilling into the engine room. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, he whispered a small prayer, words of wisdom and comfort to get him through it, it all depended however, on his faith, and right now that was on shaky ground.

He pulled himself up, the pain in his stomach numbing as he lost more blood, he tried to keep his breathing as slow as possible to slow the blood flow. He moved over to his work station and looked around for anything that could cut the pipe, he examined it, the pipe had bent on the way in so there was no way of pulling it out without ripping out half his insides. His face was getting whiter, and his concentration was trying to get away from him. He rummaged around and found a blow torch, he also found some sealing fluid. A plan emerged, but it wasn’t going to be very nice. 


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98 Reviews


Points: 133
Reviews: 98

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Fri May 13, 2016 1:34 am
yizhongt wrote a review...



Hey there, yizhongt here to leave a review. I know this chapter was published quite a while back, but I just came across it. I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter. I could not stop reading it. Your descriptions of the characters, the ship, the emotions were all well written. The story flowed smoothly, and reading it was a joy. I didn't come across any grammar or spelling mistakes while reading through it.

This is an excellent piece of work. I'll be checking out the next chapter soon. Keep up the good work and keep writing!




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1085 Reviews


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Thu Feb 25, 2016 4:09 am
Mea wrote a review...



Hey there! I thought I'd drop by and review this to get it out of the Green Room.

You seem to have a good idea here, and it seems to be fairly well laid out, so good job on that.

Things to improve:

1. Grammar, particularly your use of commas. There are a lot of run-on sentences. I'm not going to go through and point them all out, but I will link you to this article: Run-on Sentences It should give you the basics of what you need to fix here.

2. Your paragraphs are far too long - it makes it difficult for the reader to read and hard to follow what's going on. Break them up whenever something different happens, and remember that you need to make a new paragraph before and after every line of dialogue.

3. As far as actual story stuff, it was a bit confusing because of the problems I mentioned above, but it was also confusing for another reason. Basically, parts of this read like they're on a ship at sea, when they're actually in outer space. For one thing, on a modern spaceship there isn't likely to be any rope around. Also, the way the invading crew boarded didn't seem logical - it's not exactly easy to board a ship through a hole in the middle of it. The other ship would have to be perfectly aligned, and any movement on the part of either ship could rip more holes in the ships. Also, they would have the problem of it being in a vacuum - if they try to move deeper into the ship, they'd have to depressurize that section as well.

I was also confused about how quickly the invaders made it to the place and took hostages. You might want to give us a clearer idea of how long this is taking.

And that's all I've got for you! Good luck, and keep writing!




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Mon Dec 21, 2015 10:41 pm
Leekeer wrote a review...



This Was Absolute amazing I think that you should keep and keep making more of these because its absolute amazing the way you focus more and more I get scared at times because of how good that this is all i want to say is
1. Your amazingly good at describing the way that he was hurt
2. Im astonished at how you kept the reader focused on the story and not boring them with over infomation
3. your just outstanding!




LMJRayner says...


You're very kind to say, I demand that all comments be this awesome :D




As the notifications drift in I stop and wonder. Why do they take so long? Do they have adventures we don't know about? I bet they do. When they come I will ask myself. What amazing adventure has this straggling notification been on? How far did it travel, and why didn't it take me?
— TypoWithoutCoffee