Once upon a sunlit dream,
I wandered through fields of whipped cream
with maraschino poppy blankets.
A chocolate stream dried up when I drank it
as sprinkles showered from a rainbow
that dipped out of sight as I paid no
heed to the swat that killed me—
Sundays make for strange dreams.
I LOVE this! It's so short, cute, funny, jokey, amusing! (Wow, so many adjectives). It's really good, I especially like the second line : I wandered through fields of whipped cream". Yum 
and also the last line. You seem to have a unique sense of humour, from what I can see form your works. And yet you can be serious too, if you want. 
Keep it up!
Sundays just fly by way too fast, don't they? 
You misspelled the title, by the way. 
I like the rhyme. It was fun. I like the description of delicious ice cream. Yum! But man. The pun was pretty awful.
Sunday is my favorite day of the week. I really enjoyed this poem. It is nice, sweet, and has a ring to it. I ca relax on Sundays, (probably dream strange dreams).
Good luck and keep writing!
Very truly yours,
fantasydragon01.
this poem is great, i too have such childish dream on sundays. sundays are really the sun's day or the day of light brightlight of our life. the childish way you presented even made my mouthy watery. i love the kindegarden approach and the sweet use of words or rather desetrs. a delecious work.haa! just joking . its ausome congrats on a good work.
Woah
I love this poem, it completely took me by surprise. It's clever how you started it off being cheerful, which made me assume that the rest would be. It wasn't until the second to last line that I realised the depth of it, and after rereading it, I began to understand the concept even more. It was really interesting reading from the point of view of a fly, especially as the point of view was not revealed until the end. Truly awesome poem, I hope you keep writing
-Laura
This poem was fun and upbeat! Thank-you for posting it for us to read.
The dream was rather strange, which makes perfect sense. I've never had a dream that made sense. lol My favorite rhyming words that you used was "blanket" and "drank it". Very creative!
Great job! = )
~Rose
Really makes me think about the desserts I've enjoyed, and the smaller "people" who enjoyed them before me! It's cute, humorous and flows well from one line to the next. I love the idea captured in the poem and one technique I quite like is the way that some lines run into the next, truly conveying the fly's motion around the room! A poem that made me laugh and yearn for sweet stuff! Well done!
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