Forever, Love

This is my contest entry for the Twisted Love Story contest.

The characters, and basic concept, is the original idea I had for them about four years ago (only shortened and tweaked A LOT.). They, and their stories, have changed a lot since then, and this is the first time in a really long time I've even tried working with this story line, so it's probably pretty rough in a lot of sections.

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Nathan brushed the hair back from her pale forehead. It was creased with worry from whatever nightmare was plaguing her that night. A small whimper sounded from deep in her throat. Nathan kept his cold hand on her forehead and slid down in bed next to her. He nuzzled her neck slightly, feeling the chains of her necklaces against his nose, and lightly kissed the deep blue vein there.

Green eyes snapped open, wide and scared, and the pointy side of her stake started to press it’s way into Nathan’s chest. The moon pendant and cross on her necklaces rested on him. She was breathing heavily and it took her a second to realize who it was laying beside her.

Nathan pushed the stake away, wincing slightly, more at the sting from the cross than the stake.

“Jesus, Nate. What’re you doing?” Tara sunk back against the headboard and cradled her head in her hands, still keeping one of her cat-like eyes on him.

“You were having a nightmare, Terry. Again.”

Tara looked away, eyes misty. She absently raked her fingers through Nathan’s dyed-green hair. “I have a pounding headache too, dear. If we’re going to stay up and talk could we please dispense with the nickname?”

Nate’s cheek fixed itself against her open palm. “What nickname?” He murmured.

“I know it’s only one vowel sound off, but just call me Tara, once. Please.”

Nate made a face that Tara couldn’t see and tried to change the subject.

“Well, since you’re up d’ya want to go kill something?”

Tara swung her legs off of the bed and gave Nate a wry smile over her shoulder. “You have such a way with words, dear.”

///////

Long red curls, looking the color of fire with the sun glowing behind them, blew in the wind and fanned out behind Theresa’s head as she ran.

Nathan yelled to her, the words catching in his throat and giving way to more laughter. “Terry! Wait up!”

He caught her by the hand and spun her to him. Theresa’s ankle twisted and she lost her balance. She started falling, and brought Nate with her.

Nate, still laughing, even though he got the brunt of the fall, surveyed their position and said, “This is a bit…compromising.”

Theresa, still on top of him, flushed and narrowed her green, cat-like eyes. Nathan’s breath moved her curls against her face. Theresa’s eyes widened then narrowed again, for another reason this time.

Nathan wasn’t laughing anymore, he became hyper aware of his hands on the soft cotton of Theresa’s pinafore, and the way her breath felt on his neck, and that look she gave him. His thumb started tracing circles against Theresa’s sides.

“Dear brother, I do believe you’re trying to seduce me.” She let her body fall against Nathan’s.

He laughed, in a nervous kind of way. “Who’s trying to seduce whom, little sister?”

The two let their laughter die as their lips and bodies crashed against one another’s.

///////

Tara knew she was supposed to be focused. This was her thing, her life, but she couldn’t stop staring at Nathan. He was…just…downright vicious tonight. After she’d dusted the last vamp that lunged for her she looked over to Nathan, to make sure he was doing alright, and saw him, fangs out, tearing away half of the vamp’s neck. It’s face scrunched up and got even paler, if that was possible. Tara winced at the gurgling sound she could hear coming from it. Nathan was still standing over it, staring.

Tara was scared by the look on his face. No matter how much she loved him, she would always be repulsed by this side of him, and scared of the times when it would seem to take over.

Not really thinking Tara threw her stake at Nathan’s head and said, “Just put it out of it’s misery already,” hoping she didn’t sound like she was pleading.

Nathan rubbed his head and stared at her, blankly, like he didn’t know what was happening. But he picked the stake up and stabbed the vamp anyway. The gurgling stopped and Nathan walked over to Tara, wiping dust off of his arm and blood off of his lips. He grabbed the crescent moon pendant and lightly pulled her to him, taking slow kiss.

“Nathan,” Tara pulled away slightly, “The sun’s almost up.”

He smiled, still looking a little dazed, and took her hand.

///////

“Hey, Terry,” Nathan said, still sounding light, as he always felt after their ’walks’ together, and held onto Theresa’s hand, “Can I see that necklace Mother and Father gave you again?”

Night was falling around the two young lovers. On Theresa’s side there was still daylight and the reds and orange lighted her face and her blush. Nate’s profile was traced with moonlight.

“Why do you like this old thing so much, Nathan?” Terry asked, reaching down her the neck of her dress for the chain. She pulled out the crescent moon and turned closer to Nathan. “Here.” she held it up for him and he took it from her hand.

“Could you read the inscription to me, brother?” she whispered softly.

Nathan, looking from the necklace to Theresa, whispered back, just as softly. “Forever, love.”

“Hmm…” She sighed, “I like the sound of that.”

She rested her head against the crook of Nathan’s neck.

He whispered against her hair, “We should get home soon.” he looked in the direction of the house, across the field where they stood, and worried over being seen.

//////

“How old are you Nate?” Tara asked, head resting on his shoulder. The two were in Tara’s bed, counting down the minutes until sunrise.

“Twenty-five.”

“No,” Tara tilted her head up so her short red curls brushed against Nate’s ear and his dyed green hair, tucked back. “How old are you?”

“At least twenty-two,” Nate said and closed his eyes. “But you already knew that much.”

Tara kept looking at him, hoping the force of her stare would make him open his eyes and look back at him.

“That’s when I got you, right?” Nate said. He thought back to that night in the alley, when he had first met Tara.

///////

A man’s body lay dead on the ground, neck torn off, and a crazed looking woman- vampire- Was standing over him, clutching the baby.

Nathan was standing over the scene, looking down on them from the roof above. The woman was obviously newly turned and had no control. She looked hungry, still, and was turning her gaze onto the sobbing babe in her arms.

Nathan clutched the crescent moon pendant in his hand and stared at it. The moon was glowing a soft red color. “That should be her,” he said to himself and jumped down, almost landing on top of the crazed vamp. In a fluid, almost imperceptible movement Nathan kicked the woman away and caught the baby as gently as possible. The vampire lunged for him and Nathan, not wanting to risk harming the child, slid the stake out from his sleeve and, with his free hand, arced his arm so it landed in the woman’s chest. She dusted and disappeared in the rain.

Now safe, Nathan ran, fast as possible without harming the child, to his nearest safe house. The child’s blankets were soaked and Nathan had to hurry to get it out of it’s wet cloths.

The baby had a small tuft of red curls and Nathan could see her green eyes. He finished wrapping her bottom in a dishcloth he had laying around, then wrapped the rest of her in a warm blanket. Cradling her in the crook of one of his arms, Nathan threaded the pendant through a small silk ribbon he’d gotten and tied it around the child’s neck. The side with the inscription was facing him, and “Forever, Love” echoed in his mind over and over, with visions of Theresa.

Just a week ago he’d been staring at the pendant, as he always did when wallowing. It started heating in his hand and felt almost like it was vibrating. A reddish glow came over it, and the warmth spread through Nathan. With the warmth, he heard everything he needed to. A special child, named Tara, was just born and he needed to find it and save it as soon as possible. The necklace’s whispers lead him all the way from Huston to Chicago right above the child.

And now she stared at him, with the same eyes as Theresa’s and Nathan felt he understood why he was sent to her.

“Terry, Terry…” he whispered over and over and clutched the bundle to him. She was back, she was alive.

Nathan felt complete for the first time in eighty years. He held on close to her and vowed to never let go.

///////

“Nate!” Tara snapped in front of Nathan’s face, making him come back to the present. “You okay?”

Nathan just nodded, looking over Tara. She was older than Terry ever got to be. She had grown a lot too. Nathan always had to remind himself of that at moments like this. He would look up and down Tara’s body and remind himself that he had waited until she was eighteen to stop being just her friend. There was no reason to be proud of himself for this, there had been no temptation while she was still a child (now those few years before her eighteenth were tough). But he always felt guilty for knowing the eventuality of their current situation.

“It’s almost sun up. You should try and get some sleep.” she said.

“Hm. What about you? Will you be sleeping too?” he slid his hand over her thin stomach, just as soft as with Terry.

Tara closed her eyes. “Can’t. I have to go clean up the club in a few hours.”

Nate’s hands worked their way down to Tara’s thighs and lightly curved inward, not exactly on her, but close enough. “We could do something until then. To pass the time.”

Tara’s face scrunched up and she gripped onto her cross. She used her other hand to push Nate away.

“Nate,” She said slowly, trying for control, “You know I can’t.”

Nathan wanted to push a little, to kiss her on the neck and try and persuade her, but he knew what would happen. He knew it wouldn’t work.

“Alright.” He said, a little too gruffly.

Tara looked at him with her knees drawn up to her chest. She was flushed and conflicted and couldn’t control the way her toes felt numb or how much she wanted to kiss him and let him do it.

Instead she just sighed and said, “You should go sleep in your own bed today.”

“Terry-”

Tara winced and looked away from Nathan. “Nate. Don’t. Just, don’t.”

Nathan slumped and wanted to smack himself, he restrained himself, though, walked out of the room, quietly shut the door, and let himself fall on his bed.

///////

When Theresa and Nathan walked into their large farm house, quickly separating, they were greeted by their mother. She looked at Theresa’s face and then her necklace and hissed at her to put it away.

Nathan tried to ask what was going on, only to be shushed. She took his and Theresa’s hands and pulled them towards their father’s study, the sound of her’s and Theresa’s skirts rustling the only sounds they heard over the unearthly still around them.

Their mother sat them down in the chairs in the back of the study. Their father was looking at the two men, whose backs were turned from Theresa and Nathan, sitting in the chairs opposite his desk.

Their father pinched the space between his eyebrows an said, “Martha, did you have to bring the boy too?”

Nathan straightened up at his father’s tired words.

“Yes, dear. This is a family matter and he deserves to hear it too.” she sounded just as tired as their father.

Their father had his head hung, slightly, and his shoulders slumped, but he still turned his eyes up to the two strangers sitting in front of him. He wouldn’t look at his children and Nathan was getting more agitated by the second.

“Nathan, Theresa, may I introduce you to these two…Gentlemen,” it sounded as if he was choking on the word. “They wish to speak with you There-”

“About a certain necklace you have.” one of the men interjected, in a lazy, bored, sort of voice. . He turned around in his chair to look at Theresa and Nathan. He had a bald, bumpy looking head covered in tattoos. His eyes were cold and looked at Theresa with a barely concealed hate.

The other man turned around, also. Nathan could barely control the shudder that ripped through him. The man looked old and frail, as if he were centuries old. Though he first looked at Theresa, but then turned to stare at Nathan, a slow smile crept onto his face, and his icy eyes seemed to probe into Nathan’s mind.

The old man spoke, in a stronger voice than would be expected of him. “My name is Constantine, and this-” He gestured to the man beside him, “Is my associate, Noah.”

He paused, as if he expected someone else to speak, but no one did. The air felt heavy with their fear.

Constantine sighed, theatrically, knowing they wouldn’t speak up. “Well, well. I suppose we should just start with this whole nasty business, then. No time for pleasantries…” Noah stood up, and Nathan’s father shouted, “NO!” Nathan’s mother tried to throw herself between her children and the two strangers, but it was too late.

It was much too late.

///////

“Hey, Nate?” Tara said, quietly. It was late at night, an hour away from sunrise and the two were tired. Tara’s heart was still pumping hard from when they were hunting an hour ago. Nate, well, his heart never beat anymore. Tara was sitting with Nathan’s head in her lap, stroking his head.

“Mhmm?” Nathan answered, trying not to nod off.

“Could you tell me who you are?”

Nathan sighed, knowing exactly what she meant, but said, “You know who I am. I’m Nate, your legal guardian and boyfriend.”

“Yeah…” She sounded hesitant, “I know that, but who were you before?”

Nathan didn’t know what to do about this question. He had always known it would be asked, but he’d never known what he would do about it. Really, how do you tell something like that to someone you love?

“Well, Terry, for starters: the reason I call you Terry is because you look so much like my dead sister, with whom I became intimate- many times- and was really and truly in love with. I have also been holding out on the hope that you’re her, reincarnated, which is also why I’m in love with you. Oh and those two bad guys that are after you? Yeah, they killed my family in front of me, turned me into one of them, then left me to burn with their corpses. Oh, and then, when I was able to get out of the house ali-without burning and turning into dust I had no choice but to go with them and suffer through all of the things they did to me. Just hearing about them would probably make you have to do rosaries. Then I ran away from them, found you, left your dad to die in an alley, then waited eighteen years for you to be ‘old’ enough for me to pretend you’re Terry, but I also trained you to be an expert killer so you could destroy my race and eventually Constantine and his whole organization.”

Yeah, Nathan mused some more in his head, that would go over well.

“I wasn’t anyone. I lived on a farm with my parents. That’s all.”

“Could you tell me about the farm? Your family? Did you have a brother? A sister?” She leaned over so they were nearly eye level with one another.

“Why so many questions?” Nathan scooted out from under her and stood up, leaning against the wall.

“I just-”

“Just want to put your nose where it doesn’t belong.” Tara hung her head, instantly admonished by his tone. Nathan, seeing this, felt bad, but couldn’t contain himself. That anger was taking him over. He started pacing and mumbling to himself and exploded.

“Well, how about we ask you some questions.” he wagged his finger at her.

“Nate…” Tara said softly.

“Alright, questions…” Nate mumbled, ignoring her. “Why wont you sleep with me?”

“Nate!” She said much louder.

“Huh? You’re the one that seduced me, remember? But then you wouldn’t follow through-”

“Nathan!” She swung her legs over the side of the bed and faced him. “Doesn’t that make you the worst?” Nathan went on.

“Stop it.” Tara got up and tried to pull herself to his level, but he still towered over her.

“Why?” He laughed. “It’s okay for you to constantly bother me with this stuff, why can’t I do the same?”

“You’re an ass.”

“Yeah? Well you’re a bitch.” Tara slapped him, hard enough to make him stumble into her. She pushed him away and yelled, “Out. Get out.”

“It’s my house!” he yelled back.

“Fine!” She yelled, louder than him just to feel like she was winning. “I’ll leave.”

Tara stomped her way out of the house and slammed the front door. Then she opened the door and screamed “Bastard!” and slammed it again.

Nate stood, rooted, in the same spot and, after what had just happened slumped, groaned, fell to his knees, and began hitting his head on the floor.

//////

Tara started to walk away from the house. She wanted to, but she also didn’t know where to go, or if she wanted to actually walk the whole way. Tara was feeling drained and hurt and angry and really wanted to hurt something, mostly Nathan. She sat down on the driveway and stared at the strip of pink in the sky. She let herself fall fully onto the pavement and waited for the sun to rise.

/////

Nathan was asleep. He didn’t want to be asleep. He wanted to be out looking for Tara. He wanted to tell her that he wasn’t really mad, that he didn’t really mean any of that.

Mostly, he didn’t want to be asleep. Because sleeping meant dreaming and when ever he would dream it would be the same thing. Over and over and over. Every day.

First, Nathan would see Noah standing up. His face thrown into shadows. Then Nathan wouldn’t be able to see him anymore, he moved so quickly, until he looked to his side and there he was. One hand holding onto Theresa’s neck, the other gripping her necklace.

The crescent moon was glowing bright red.

Nathan’s mother was lying on the ground, her head in an impossible position. Noah had done it so quickly it took everyone a minute to even realize it had happened.

His father would begin to roar, but Constantine raised a hand and suddenly Nathan’s father couldn’t speak. His face started turning bluish, and he clawed at his throat. Constantine would smile and walk closer to him. And, Nathan always remember with shame, Nathan couldn’t even move to help any of them. He could just flick his eyes back from his sis- from Theresa to his father and get ever more lost on what to do.

Constantine always circles around Nathan’s father, still smiling, eyes finding Nathan’s occasionally.

Nathan wished so much that it ended there.

//////

“You thought you could hide her from us?” Constantine said, in his chilling voice. “You thought we wouldn’t find her? Really? How stupid are you?” Nathan’s father’s eyes were popping out of his head and he kept clawing, furiously, at his throat, starting to draw blood. Constantine sniffed the air and laughed, “Do not tempt us.”

Nathan’s father managed to mouth “Monster” which only made Constantine laugh more.

“Monster?” He laughed, “You think me a monster? That’s fair. I think you are an idiot.”

Nathan’s father turned another shade of purple and his eyes rolled into the back of his sockets. Theresa managed to scream and thrashed against Noah, making him squeeze.

Nathan, watching it all, was finally able to do something. He stood up and launched himself at Noah. He knew he wasn’t a match for him, but his hope was that he could at least get Noah and Theresa separated long enough for her to run away. Nathan, though, only bounced off of Noah and tripped over the chair he had been sitting on.

Before he could pull himself up, Constantine was standing over him, about to grab his arm.

“Don’t touch me!” Nathan shouted.

Constantine merely smiled and helped Nathan to his feet. He fixed his hands on Nathan’s shoulders, rooting him in place, watching Theresa struggle against Noah. Noah’s grip started to tighten around her throat and tears fell, silently, down from her eyes and over Noah’s fingers. There was a twitch in his face when this happened, and for a moment Nathan was able to see true pity, actual…fear for what he was about to do.

“Let her go!” He shouted at them, then said it again, more as a plea, and kept saying it-quieter each time.

“We can’t do that.” Constantine whispered in his ear. “She is dangerous to us. Well, not exactly dangerous, but her existence is. She could end up being the one that actually accomplishes that bitches prophecy and destroys us.”

“I-I don’t understand…” Nathan said, sounding hoarse. He couldn’t look away from Theresa as she seemed to be silently screaming. The crescent necklace was still flashing with an unearthly red glow.

“You don’t need to.” Constantine whispered.

Noah looked away, letting his face become completely shadowed.

Pain split into Nathan’s neck. His blood flowed out, warming part of him, but making everything else feel cold. Memories, mostly of Theresa, shot out of his mind, and everything around him sounded water logged. He could hear Theresa screaming, but didn’t know what to do about it. He even saw as Noah twisted her head almost completely off of her shoulders, but couldn’t really see it. Something cold and heavy fell onto his neck. Constantine threw him to the ground and let something drip from his wrist into Nathan’s mouth. Nathan was too dazed to do anything but swallow. He just laid there, even as the flames started to grow around him. When they licked at his arms and singed his hair, he decided to get up. Part of him was soaked in blood.

Calm as a corpse, Nathan walked through the flames and onto the lawn. Noah walked over to him and allowed him to rest on his arm as they walked over to Constantine’s stooped shadow.

“Why are you helping me?” Nathan asked, surprised by the coldness in his voice.

Noah sighed, and said in an even voice, “Because once you wake up from this you’ll want revenge. You’ll want it so badly, that you’ll kill us and everyone else involved in the mess.”

“Wouldn’t that mean killing you too?” Nathan stared up at Noah, seeing the sadness lining his face for the first time.

“Sooner would be preferable, but you need time to be trained.”

Nathan, not able to think of anything to say to that, kept walking.

In the distance he could see bits of lightness in the sky. The chain cooled the back of his neck, but the pendant hung heavy on him.

“Ready to go, children?” Constantine called to Nathan and Noah.

“Just hurry.” Noah said.

Nathan wasn’t sure who he was saying that to.

///////

Night had come, but Tara still felt angry. Once the sun had risen she snuck back into the house and stole Nathan’s keys. She fixed on his helmet and rode Nathan’s motorcycle out as far as she could go. She passed run down barns and rivers, and finally felt so exhausted she pulled into a field to sleep.

Tara walked around the field, trying to find a good spot to lay down, one that wasn’t too wet or rocky. As she was bending over to move some rocks out of the way someone grabbed her from behind and flipped her onto her back.

Tara didn’t have time to react or scream, or attack. Teeth clamped onto her neck and she lost control. Her body went limp, and everything that she’d ever though seemed to flow out of her with her blood. The thing that was feeding off of her offered his slit wrist to her, which she couldn’t help but grab. He pulled his arm away, after she had taken enough, and whispered into her ear: “Tell Nathan that Noah wants him to know it’s time.”

And then he was gone, leaving Tara there to lay in the grass feeling dazed and empty.

//////

Nathan woke up from the nightmare. He showered, got dressed, and ate some bagged up pig’s blood. He couldn’t stop thinking about Tara. He wanted so desperately to find her and apologize, but he wasn’t sure how to do that. He knew these problems would just keep piling up and she would always want to force him to tell her everything.

Nathan went into the garage, knowing it would be easier to find her if he could cover more ground. He decided to forget about their problems for now, and just focus on making up with her.

Nathan, climbing into Tara’s car, knew her well enough to know a few places she would go to, and started his search.

///////

Finally, after passing by his own bike parked on the side of the highway at least three times, Nathan got close to finding Tara. He pulled over and hopped out of the car. He couldn’t see Tara, or anyone, for miles. He did, however, catch the smell of blood in the air. Nathan, panicking, ran towards it.

“Oh, God.” Nathan said, in a small voice, when he found Tara. She was laying in a pool of blood, which Nathan could only assume was her own. The collar of her shirt and whole right side was completely stained, and a lot of it had clotted in her hair. More frightening, though, was the fact that she was crying.

“Nate,” She said as she got up on shaky legs. Nathan didn’t want to know why she was able to move after losing all that blood. He ran to her and fell to his knees, hugging her middle.

“What happened to you?” he nearly sobbed.

“I was attacked.” her hands fell heavily on top of Nathan’s head along with her tears. “It was a vamp-” the words caught in her throat. “It turned me into one of…” She trailed off and cried some more.

“Oh, God.” Nate said again, squeezing tighter.

“Nate,” Tara said, trying to gain control of her voice, “The guy who…who did this. He said to tell you that: ‘Noah wants you to know it’s time.’ What did that mean?”

“Oh, God.” Nate Kept saying. Tara kneeled down with him and took his face in her hands. Though the tears kept falling she sounded strong.

“Just tell me why this happened, Nate. I need to know this.”

“I can’t. I just…can’t.” He hung his head and Tara let her forehead fall against the crook of Nate’s neck. She said, “You will. At least you’ll tell me who did this to me.”

“Can’t we talk about this tomorrow?” Nate asked, sounding tired.

“Fine,” Tara said, with a cold edge to her tone. “I guess time doesn’t exactly matter to me now, right?”

Nathan picked himself up and followed her to their cars, scared of what was coming. He whispered to himself, and Theresa, and Tara, “Forever, love?”

Comments & reviews · 1
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Okay, I'm not going to go line by line because you have very few grammatical or punctuation errors. I'll just give you a detailed overview instead.

Plot

The plot is the main reason we chose your story for first place in the contest: it was the most twisted. A guy falls in love with his sister, becomes a vampire and tries to replace his sister with a baby because he thinks it is his sister reincarnate. Personally, after reading Twilight, I'm not a huge fan of vampire stories, but for vampire, this was pretty good. Very traditional vampire. I thought at points the plot was left a little loose-ended. For example, you do not tell much about the "prophecy," who made it, or why Theresa was the one who was supposedly going to fulfill it. And I could never figure out why Tara was out killing vampires. You might want to explain that better. On the whole though, very twisted, and captivating to read.

Characters
I thought you developed pretty well. I would have liked to here a few more personality traits and habits of Nathan and Tara, but they definitely were filled out well. If you could add a few more details to each character, readers can connect with them better. I do like the use of dialect, though, with Theresa.

Organization
This was one area that truly threw me off. When I first started reading this, I was baffled. It was so hard to figure out who Theresa was and who Tara was and when each event took place. I'm not sure how you can rectify this, but the story really doesn't completely make sense till the very end, which is confusing for the reader.

Punctuation and Grammar
Very few mistakes here, and I will not point out any specific one, because that would mean actually searching carefully to find one. Nice job!

On the Whole
This was interesting to read, original, and well-written. The only major problem is the slightly confusing organization, but even that is not too major. I like the taint of adventure and mystery mixed in with the romance, and I want to know what happens to Nathan and Tara now! Nicely done.



attempting foot extraction
— Mea