Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: This is quite the piece here. I mean it certainly feels like a bit of a passionate just sort of calling out just shouting out this person's emotions as loudly as possible going through just anger and then cooling off to a hint of desperation and longing towards the end. If a rant is what it is meant to be, it succeeds very well.
Anyway let's get right to it,
it, I'll just start spewing whatever ran through my mind during our last conversation where I abstained myself because I thought that was the better thing to do as per law.
First and foremost, read till the end since you have taken time to get this far the rabbit hole.
Yes, you did give me multiple hints that you like me which i completely missed because I'm an ape when it comes to love games . You literally were texted me when srinivas was proposing to you and were stalking me when you were in your "supposed relationship".
Well this is a start and a half here. Letting us know of some very interesting undercurrents running through everything as we get underway and just immediately establishing a powerful connection between the two characters here. Let's see where exactly we're headed here.
You say I don't know the meaning of relationship. In a way it's true I don't know to the play the cat & mouse game , fake 1000 on dates to make other feel elevated and end up using eachother instead of growing the bond. You people can't even bring about logical reasons to your actions .
You did choose other numbnuts over me , by doing so entering hall of pain from white who you thought was so charming when he didn't care shit about you, even when entered your life you straight up ignored me . You even ditched me for your stupid situationship with Osama bin manzoor and most worst of all you striked down my idiotically long proposal for a cheating . And when you find yourself beaten up by these bastards you literally claim these were never meant to be and don't even care to dissect what you did wrong and end up doing the same again. if your therapist isn't bringing these things up and then you are pouring the money down the drain
Oh my we are hitting hard on this one. Loving the vibe there though. Its not often that this much swearing ends up working but this is one of those rare moments it does when it gets across the sheer magnitude of emotion this person happens to be feeling in this particular moment and I'm loving it so far. Its clear there's just a bit of a visceral reaction happening here.
You and I love the same, when people like you and me fall in love it isn't just some simple thing like others feel and go on about their hook up culture. When you love you give a part of your soul to that bond. Enough with your "you never loved me" horseshit . We both know two hands clapped to create the mess we both are in . In fact this coming back again and again is what I learnt from you. No matter what happened you always came back to me and i always kept my doors open.
I see how boys are supposed to impress the girl with gifts to whoo her into their trap. Instead of that trickery I'm taking the road of expressing instead of impressing because I really care on how the bond is reformed. I'd want both of us to go through agni pariksha to find out what the hell actually went wrong.
Hmm this is a nice little paragraph. You can feel sort of maybe that the strongest emotions have calmed down a little and now this person is just getting fully to their actual feelings and there's a surprising amount of vulnerability coming out here which I love. It really grounds the piece quite nicely.
So many things have happened in these years I literally feel like i have lost my superpower and have been living the life of a normal person, but one thing I'll never do to bend my will to the world it'll be hard for me but I know whatever I feel will be real. I have gifted you many things and in those not even one was to impress you, i enjoyed celebrating you in doing so "the arrogant overlord" in me who never cared for love or true love learned what love would mean it's not just you every things I have done I did it with full devotion and all of them repaid me . I stand in a place in my life now that I was never supposed to attain , i realise only now the amount of disadvantages that were thrown at me and I competed against them and won and will win ahead.
I do feel bad not having you in my arms but even more tragedy is seeing you fall off from becoming a person who could have been the best person to settling for something ordinary and blending in with this world. That pains me a lot, i genuinely thought I might not be the best person for you since I was not a doctor etc etc and even thought you really did find someone better than me ..but talking to you about it . Instantly it felt it was and I jumped the gun with my long proposal and i tried to warn all along.
Hmm this is bringing up some interesting little undercurrents here. We're seeing hints that this person wasn't exactly the nicest to them and may have caused some problems with relationships the person was having with other. Definitely ends up making the whole things a touch more gray.
Now if you ask me, i think you'll never come across a better love than mine . You try to ignore it but fail because you have no idea what to do and are taking decisions based how your world will perceive it.
I know you would undefinetly choose me if take the decision for you and you only , I'll be waiting for the time you turn back your mind to that little girl that invited me to your house . This time I want enter your house because that's what I want . To hear your heart beat and feel your frantic breath on my chest as I protect you from the impending zombie apocalypse.
Ending with joke because this is not a romantic letter instead this was supposed to be a rant .
Oh my that is quite the subversion to end on there. I almost if that's an author's note right there because it almost feels like it vaguely breaks the fourth wall just a little bit there. Quite the ending honestly, coming full circle there.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall a pretty powerful piece all round I think. You do a wonderful job of bringing it to life here, and creating this rather powerful voice for this character. Definitely feels like a fairly realistic ran just elevated perhaps a notch or two above for the extra drama and I loved it.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate
Points: 254413
Reviews: 4104
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