Alone and Solo

i like it, deep, makes you think.

Wow, amazing mindset. Love this poem, it's almost professional. You've got good imagery, and a good ability to make people think in-depth.

This is my style of writing, and its pretty damn good.
Again, formatting it into stanzas and enjambements would give it structure and improve it. The beginning of every line is capitalised, even if not ended with a full stop.
I like 'Nighttime just an illusion to shield our thoughts', nice imagery.
Keep up the good work

Vernon wrote:You ask a bit too much questions. Maybe try and answer them.
VSN

Not the best poem. My main problem is it so abstract you leave the reader scratching their head in confusion. You've a great poem but too many ideas in this block of text. I'd follow the suggestion from CK. I noticed that right away. It should be split up better. You ask a bit too much questions. Maybe try and answer them. I get this is your thoughts, but it doesn't work right now. It's just too confusion and abstract like trying to peice together a jigsaw missing some pieces. Overall: It has potential if you rethink the approach.

Good luck
VSN

Good poem and good concepts. The only thing is a couple lines weren't very clear (at least to me) near the end. One of these is,
"(Not that I want to share in my cup)" It just doesn't really fit poetically.
Another line is,
"Bearing on my shoulders, my coffin." I understand what you mean by this, but perhaps the wording could have been slightly modified tomake it more clear.
Besides these lines, the only thing you should work on is formatting the piece a little better, pherhaps by using stanzas.
All in all, you did a pretty good job. Keep on writing.

I liked this! Though maybe space it out?

So everyday it's all the same
The morning set in a background of Grey
Nighttime just an illusion to shield our thoughts
Have you ever wondered why we're set apart?
To go our own separate paths(?)

I take the gutter shot and everyone else wants the grave
Could it be I've slipped in my perspective
And forgotten what it means
To embrace the fact that I am human?
Or is there more than what meets the eye?
I can't remember anymore,
If I was ever free.

There is no light where I stand.
The path I tread is a wide and gentle slope,
Bearing on my shoulders my coffin.
I'm bound for where no one can follow;
(Not that I want to share in my cup)
And as I push on,
The day grows finicky of company
And flees my side once again.
Leaving me the way I've always been,

Alone and solo.

I liked this poem because it really seemed like you were searching within yourself as you wrote it. "Alone and Solo" seems a little redundant, but I hesitate to critique it because everyone else seemed to like it so much, haha... nice job!

-nic'

I like th depth. Great poem!

Some parts don't make too clear of sense, The gutter shot and grave part just seems like some drunken rambling. The shoulders and coffin part as well. And the day growing 'finicky'.

It was a good poem, but those parts confused me on the form and broke the reading for me as I tried to figure out what it meant in my head. Though you pulled off a good solid ending even after those three little bumps that caught me when i was reading.

Another good piece.

WOW I really like this. As in, ALOT.

But I was just wondering what you intended in a few places here and there.
.............................................................

"So everyday it's all the same
The morning set in a background of Grey

(just curious, really -- is there a reason why Grey is capitalized?)

Nighttime just an illusion to shield our thoughts

(period right here? it seems to leave the reader hanging, since the next line is a sentance all on it's own)

Have you ever wondered why we're set apart?
To go our own separate paths
I take the gutter shot and everyone else wants the grave
(period again?)

Could it be I've slipped in my perspective
And forgotten what it means
To embrace the fact that I am human?
Or is there more than what meets the eye?
I can't remember anymore,
If I was ever free.
There is no light where I stand.
The path I tread is a wide and gentle slope,
Bearing on my shoulders my coffin.

(this is a strangley worded line. I had to go back and reread, and it literally stopped the flow of it. Perhaps you can change some words around, or use some different verbs?)

I'm bound for where no one can follow;
(Not that I want to share in my cup)

(LOVE IT)

And as I push on,
The day grows finicky of company
And flees my side once again.

(perhaps no period here, since the next part is a continuation. It just stops the reader again)
(but the words are lovely...)

Leaving me the way I've always been,
Alone and solo."

(fantastic ending)

This has some pretty good stuff in it!

Since you seem to be pretty adept at poetry, the thing I would try next is to play with formatting. Right now, you have every single line capitalized and your line breaks are at very predictable places. I would play around with it, putting some unexpected line breaks somewhere ("To go our own separate paths" is especially a line I would play around with) and so on. I also wouldn't capitalize every line... just the words that are important, if that makes sense.

The most gaudy part of the poem would be these lines:

Could it be I've slipped in my perspective
And forgotten what it means
To embrace the fact that I am human?

I would suggest:

Could it be I've slipped
And forgotten what it means
To be human?

It just sounds a whole lot more cleaner.

Anyway! Hope that helps!