I wish that I could dance with you
Beneath the starlit night;
Walk upon a silver moonbeam,
And bathe ourselves in light.
I wish the stardust in our souls
Would shine with all it’s might;
And never shall the fire in
Our hearts be doused by fright.
I wish you saw the light in you
That shines forever bright;
I wish the matches in your soul
Would strike and thus, ignite.
It is too dark, you cannot see
Past this shadowed night;
But dearest, if you only knew:
You’re a star in your own right.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
I actually really enjoyed reading this poem! It was short and to the point, it had a delightful rhyme scheme and didn't require several minutes to read nor a lot of brain power to appreciate. I love it. Keep up the good work!
I loved this. It's a short, yet completely beautiful piece. I wish I could say more, but, really, that's about it. Keep writing!!
Hi Knightly.
I saw you posted and after reading this I decided to review your poem.
Will should be would.
Maybe it's just me, but the wording sounding a little awkward. I think it would sound better if you re-worded it as "I wish you could see the light in you"
Overall: This was such a beautiful poem. I love the way you worded it and the vivid descriptions from the poem. Knightly, you are a really gifted poet. I can't wait to see more of your works. Hope I helped. Keep writing
~Blue.