Published June 30, 2011
I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
-Mother Teresa
I have found the paradox said Mother Teresa,
and by her example I have loved until it hurt.
I have loved until my hands shook, until my knuckles
Turned white. I have loved the ugly masks
that hid his face, the tattooed scars that marked his arms.
I have loved him; the boyish charm,
the gentleness of his sleeping form.
I have loved so hard that it bruised my heart,
kissed back so that my lips would bleed,
held on so tight that my bones would break.
(Loved so much that I suffocate.)
And Mother Teresa, it isn’t true:
You cannot love ‘til it hurts no more.
Mother, my body is scarred and my soul is scared;
And Mother, there is no paradox.
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Hi,
The title really drew me in. I wasn't aware of this quote and found it really interesting. I loved the opening couplet and the final address to Mother Teresa in the final stanza. I love the half rhyme of "scarred" and "scared."
I'd take another look at the second stanza. Shaking hands, white knuckles, boyish charm and the heart weren't as fresh as some of the other lines in this. I'd try for fresher, more visual lines - maybe be more specific and ground it more in the speaker's reality and actions than her emotions.
Hope this helps. Feel free to p.m me if you have any questions.
Jas
I think it's an amazing poem! And I must say, I definitely agree with you. If we love 'til it hurts, won't that affect us emotionally? Wouldn't we all be emotionally scarred? My answer to that is yes. But, anyway, great poem! Keep writing!
Hi there!
I have to admit, I always get a bit excited when I look at the frontpage of YWS and see a new poem from you, and this certainly met my expectations. I love how you used this quote as your inspiration, and I think your poem describes something that almost everyone can relate to. I disagree with the other two reviewers. The "point" of this is something I've experienced before, and no, it doesn't stop hurting. The emotion here seemed very raw and real.
A few nitpicks, though:
That phrase is a tad over-used. Perhaps try something more original.
This to me seems too much like a slant rhyme, and since you don't rhyme throughout the rest of the poem, it's out of place. Also, the parentheses don't really work for me; I can't figure out if you intended them to place more or less emphasis on that line. An em dash instead of the period after "break" would have worked better, in my opinion.
I loved this line.
*Presses 'like' button* Great job. =]
I like this. Though I also disagree with the point because since it hurts so much, at one point you won't even feel the pain anymore so in that case you've loved 'till it doesn't hurt anymore so in that case there is a paradox. I just realised that what I wrote makes no sense to anyone else but my twisted self. (I hope not...)
Anyway, nice poem. Keep writing!
I liked the way the poem was written, I just disagree with the point, but, no matter! Why was the last line in the second stanza in parentheses? Just curious!