Published June 11, 2011
Perhaps I’ll lift my pen today
To write of plants and trees,
Praise the Lord for his good works
Applaud the birds and bees.
Or maybe I’ll philosophize,
Be smarter with my ink;
Write of Logic, Ifs and Whys,
And make the whole world think.
Or I could write a humor piece,
Bring laughter to your face;
Think of silly things to say,
And brighten up this place.
Or I could write of love today,
Of trembling, beating hearts;
Of Romance, and of Tragedy,
Or scandalous flirting arts.
But I confess, I lift my pen
To write of none above;
I only wished to write a poem
About writing, my first love.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,859 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
I can dig it. loi. This is the kind of poetry i enjoy reading. The rhythm and flow and rhyme-scheme were incredible and beautiful.. until the last couple of lines. Then it felt like watching a puppy get run over, ya know? maybe that was a little harsh.. i guess it's be more like watching a puppy out of a chair. You know what, bad analogy all together. d: Point is, i think its awesome but the ending could use some minor reconstruction. Overall, nice work.
I truly believe this is a Brilliant piece of poetry! Your word choice didn't feel forced at all even with the rhyme scheme. It read very smoothly and was very engaging! Once again, Brilliant! Keep it up!
Knight,
Keep up the fabulous work!
This poem was amazing! I loved your rhyming and the flow to this piece. I could not find anything wrong with this poem, that the others have yet to point out
Keep Writing!
~KJR~
Okay so the topic was a little bit cliche, but so is everything else nowadays so I wouldn't care too much. Nice structure, I like your style. Fluid expressive writing. Well done!
xx
Okay, so we've all written poems about poetry on our unoriginal days (honestly I've probably written about a dozen of these darn things) but I still liked this. It had good flow and it was pleasant to read, it just wasn't anything insanely different, you know? But it was a cute poem, so I really won't complain.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver
Hey, senzafine here. Your title have caught my attention.
Well I'm not good at reviewing other's work but I kinda like it. Very flawless!
Keep it up.
-senzafine
I live this poem. It has a cute idea behind it and the flow remains constant most of the time.
Really cool!
Keep writing!
-----------------
-Jojo
You had a great flow and rhythm going on, right up until the last two lines, but then you lost it. You have 9 and 7 syllables in the last two lines compared to the 8 and 6 syllables in the first two lines; basically, you've got an extra syllable in both of the last two lines, and it's really noticeable. You might have been able to get away with it if the last two lines were of equal lengths, but right now, the difference in syllables really trips up the ending and makes it a very weak finish for an otherwise rhythmically strong poem.
Another thing I noticed was the punctuation. You have semicolons placed where commas would make more sense, and sometimes commas missing or placed where semicolons or other punctuation would be better. For example:
The semicolon would be more appropriate as a comma, I think, while the first comma could be changed to either a colon (:) or m-dash (—) since everything after that line is essentially a list of the things that could be done by writing the humor piece.
Punctuation is a pretty big thing in poetry, and it never hurts to make sure that it is correct before you go off and modify it for artistic purposes. :)
Overall, this was a pretty cute poem, and I enjoyed reading it.
Ola. Nafe here and I'm going to review your poem. Well duhh, lol.
Well I'm not a nit-picky person and this poem doesn't require me to be either. I liked it very much and thta's about it really. I flowed really well for me, your punctuation and grammar were all intact. Keep up the goog work =)