Do I?

by KnightlyAngel09
  • March 5, 2011
  • Poetry
  • Lyrical

Do I love?
I do not know.
He kisses me,
I cannot show
an eagerness
to him who loves,
I kiss him back
‘tis not enough.

No sweetness in
that little kiss,
I shudder at
my marble lips.
I wonder why
I cannot show
a fevered heart,
I do not know.

I wish I could
hand him my heart,
but how could I
without that spark?
Do I love?
I think I know,
I fear I have
no love to show.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
spartacus
Review
spartacus wrote a review · Sun Mar 06, 2011 2:52 am

Wow,I really love this poem.It explains the unreturned love,empty soul,missing person in a one sided love.It was amazing,truly.I think your tempo is off slightly but the rythme is fairly even.There is such strong visual coherence.A truly riveting peice.Great job!
~spartacus~

my love is empty lost somewhere I am sorry that I will not be there when you come home empty as can be ~dreamer~

User avatar
KatTrain
Review
KatTrain wrote a review · Sat Mar 05, 2011 4:42 pm

Wow.
wow wowo wowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowo-
Wow. Very nice poem. the wording, everything is wonderful.

Do I love..? I think the dots make it more obvious that it is a question posed towards yourself.
I do not know.
He kisses me,
I cannot show
an eagerness
to him who loves,
I kiss him back
‘tis not enough. LOVE

No sweetness in
that little kiss,
I shudder at
my marble lips.nice imagery/
I wonder why
I cannot show
a fevered heart,
I do not know. nicce, I love the italics

I wish I could
hand him my heart,
but how could I
without that spark? Heres where the lines get a little clunky. I'm not sure how to rewrite that, though. It works, it's just not perfect.
Do I love?
I think I know,
I fear I have
no love to show. perfect ending.



When your heart gets pierced with arrows, don't rip them out and pierce those around you in retribution for your hurt. You'll only unnecessarily wound others and bleed to death yourself.
— LadyMysterio