Warning: This work has been rated 18+.
Well, so far I've done impersonal entries, abstract things that really just talked about problems I deal with on a daily bases.
Let's talk about some problems I haven't had until recently.
Namely, it seems that I have become the college whore.
Normally, I wouldn't care. I have never really given a damn about with people think about me, and it is rare I never will.
Back up. That's a lie.
Yes, I do care about what people think about me. To an extent. You want to form an opinion about me without knowing me, that is your business and not mine. There is nothing that I can do about it. Think what you want. I certainly can't stop you.
But back to my current issue.
Here's the thing: I am more comfortable around guys than I am around girls. Always have been. Always will be. I didn't have a sister until I was twelve, I had all boy cousins, heck, the only reason I even had aunts is because they're all married to my uncles. And growing up, I preferred to play with boys because I thought they were more fun.
So I never really had a lot of interaction with girls until I started getting older. And the interactions that I had, and have had, haven't been all that great. Most of the girls I met were drama filled bitches who only cared about two things: boys, and how to be noticed by them.
And once those girls noticed me hanging around all the guys they liked, things got pretty nasty. Well, not that nasty, but they said things to me and called me things that made me hate hanging out with girls even more than I already do.
Alright, I think you get the picture.
I like hanging with boys. I hate hanging with girls.
Brings me to today.
Since I started college, I've been hanging around this one guy, Dick.
(One more thing before I continue: I'm a touchy/feely, huggy person. Just thought you should know.)
Dick and I flirt. That's just what we do. It's my personality, it's how I am. I'm a flirt, I'm not going to lie. My years of hanging with dudes has taught me well.
But anyway, Dick and I flirt. I hug him, I sit next to him, fall asleep on his shoulder, and sit in his lap.
Normal stuff. I do it all the time.
But apparently Dick has a girlfriend. (Which I kind of knew about, but it wasn't confirmed for me until about two weeks ago.)
Did it stop me? Not really. Why? Because why should it? The stuff we did didn't mean anything. Not really.
Did it stop him? No. But looking back, maybe it should have.
They broke up.
And suddenly I'm the homewrecking whore. It doesn't matter that nothing happened. It doesn't matter how innocent it was for me. (Although admittedly, I know that people assumed we were sleeping together and did nothing to stop it.)
Everyone is talking.
All my guy friends are talking. The girls in school stare at me as I walk down the hall and whisper my name behind their hands. I hate it.
I like being the object of attention, I will admit, but I don't like it like this.
The looks of judgement that follow me everywhere now are tearing me apart.
Part of me just wants to vanish through the floor. Another wants to get up in the faces of those who are talking and tell them to shut the fuck up. It's not their business.
But, there's nothing I can do to stop it. And I've never been a very confrontational person. Which would explain why I'm telling you this, journal, rather than trying to tell my friends how I feel about this.
I feel horrible. Like even though Dick says that I'm not the cause of it, I am.
I feel helpless.
I feel like no matter where I turn, nothing is going to fix this. Which is really weird because it's not actually my problem.
I think I'm going to skip class and cry my eyes out.
Fuck my life.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Wow, I like what you did here. Your journal entry is really descriptive and it allows us to get a sense of who you are. You aren't to blame for the whole situation and I like how honest you are in how you said what people say and think do affect you. At times I feel the same way, and I believe a little flirting isn't bad, I do the same. In this way your writing is brilliant because it expresses you as a person, and I believe you are a relate-able one at that. I love your display of emotions and how you feel, and I hope you get through this!!
Hello, okay so I'm going to start with saying EXCELLENT JOB!!! Now, I'm going to go over everything I liked, didn't like, or what I think just needs fixing.
First off, this is such a good piece and you did an excellent job with writing it!!! It's well-written and the structure and content correlate really well together. I didn't see many grammar or punctuation errors and the ones I did see were minor so I do not feel as if I should have to address them.
Secondly, there is one attribute that I believe every writer needs to be great-and that is for the writer to be able to convey emotion to the reader. And you did just that. I myself understand how you feel and what your going through. I may not be in college but before I moved from South Dakota, the only people I ever hung out with were boys. I mean 95% of my cousins were even boys. I had one cousin who was a girl and I had always thought she was a brat. (but were older now so I'm kind of over it) A lot of the girls would get mad at me in my class because I just didn't care for them and would rather hand out with the boys who were of course; more interesting. It kind of just started out with them just being able to keep up with me. They were faster and played tougher. (also they didn't play with dolls or babies...blah) And naturally as I got older it was just a common thing for me to sit in their lap, to eat with them at lunch, and to just overall hand out with them.
(okay sorry for that I'll get back to reviewing.)
Thirdly, your style of writing make me understand what your going through, how you feel. It makes me think your like a friend that I'm well acquainted with. You use just the right amount of feeling that I can sense that anger, that frustration, and sometime that confusion.
In conclusion, I think you did really well on this piece. You channeled everything really well together. The structure, the content, the emotion-all blended together into one natural piece of work. I can't wait to read more by you, good job and keep up the good work!!!So, without further ado, I bid farewell. (okay that was really stupid) BYE!!!
First, I think this journal entry was incredibly well-written as far as its order is concerned. You conveyed your story easily and supplemented it with some key background. (Although there are some grammar errors, they are minor enough that I will not bother you with them since you are already on a college level.) I would like to point out not just a well-told story but also some emotion and enough material to help the reader draw a clear conclusion.
The story, in spite of your abrasive style, I liked since you were able to inspire my sympathy and make me feel as though I've learned some key things about you in just a small amount of time. That is the beauty of this piece--that in so little time you've made me, as a reader, feel somewhat acquainted with you. Furthermore, the order of events is easy to follow; and your style is wonderfully concise. You have managed to simplify a lot here, and your writing truly benefits.
Secondly, you've been quite informative concerning your emotions. I detected some anger toward people who gossip about you, frustration toward the situation and toward women in general, and even sadness because of the way your friendship ended. The way you exhibited this story with all your feelings included really made me feel sorry. Your use of emotion is excellent.
Third, the quantity of material is just right. The piece is not overly long. However, you have written concisely enough that the reader still understands exactly what happened and what you think about it. This characteristic of your journal entry--that it is so well-proportioned--is quite helpful to your writing.
In summary, you've done well. Your journal entry is informative about you and your life though it's not overly revealing. You have succeeded in telling your story realistically as well as with good emotion, length, and style. Once again, well-done!
I'm sorry you're going through this.
Have you seen the movie Easy A with Emma Stone? This situation reminds me a bit of this.
I know you don't see any 'wrong' in this situation. And there wasn't any on your part, because this was you being you, which is awesome.
But even though you don't hang out with girls, well, you are one. Wouldn't *you* be upset if someone else was as comfortable with your man, as you are comfortable with Dick?
And Dick... If anyone's at 'fault', I would think he would be, not you. He should have seen with his girlfriend what their bounderies were as a couple. Then again, maybe he wanted to ditch her and everything turned out well. Ugh. I meant for this to be a pep talk. Sorry if it's not coming out like that.
I guess the only *lame* thing to say is that school is only for a certain period in your life, and then you don't have to see those losers ever again.
Also, I agree 100%: guys are MUCH more fun to hang out with. Women are just nasty....