Young Writers Society

Authors note: This story has mentions of mental illness and self harm. If this makes you uncomforable then do not read any further. 

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Allow me to introduce you to a girl named Melissa. She is a fifteen year old, lower class girl with very strange habits, thoughts, and actions that no one quite understands.

“I have to keep moving. If I stop moving, I'll surely die.”

These were the words that ran through Melissa’s mind every day. Everyday, she would find something to do from the second she woke up, until the second she would go to sleep.

“Every minute of every day, I can’t stop moving. Not even for a second.”

Melissa always needed something to do. When she was desperate for something, she would go as far as starting fights at school to land herself detention for the next few days. Of course, her parents were unaware of why she was causing trouble, never telling them why.

“Don’t think about it, don’t stop moving.”

Of course, you must be wondering why she thinks like this by now. Maybe she was abused at home, maybe she feared going home, and maybe she had a fear of not being noticed in the world. These were common reasons that her fellow classmates passed back and forth at school, unaware that every one of their explanations were wrong.

“Don’t look at yourself, just keep going.”

Many people also asked questions about her appearance. About how she always came to school with knotted hair and wearing baggy, winter like clothes; never showing any skin with the exception of her face and hands. It was no secret that she was lower class, not being able to afford things that everyone else had, such as a cellphone.

“Just keep moving, you know what will happen if you stop.”

Only Melissa knew the answers to all the burning questions that were asked, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care that she was talked about, she didn’t care if people feared her, she didn’t care if she got in trouble, she needed to keep moving. She wanted to live.

“You are weak, but moving will keep you strong.”

She knew she wouldn’t be able to control her urges if she stopped moving, she knew that if she stopped for even a second to look at her reflection, she would surely die at her own hands. One night, her mind got the better of her, however. With her parents gone, she had no one to keep her occupied. All it took was sitting down for a mear three seconds for the urge to hit her hard.

“No, I can't let my mind win over my body.”

She got up to make herself something to eat. She thought she was safe, now having another activity to do. But, she was sadly mistaken. As soon as the knife was firm in her hand, the urge hit her hard like a truck.

“I...Can’t let...It win.”

She thought to herself as she looked at the shiny blade, scared of what she might do. She looked down at the floor, trying to think of anything else. It was then she saw her legs. The longer she stared at them, the longer they began to change. She noticed how her calves were starting to seem bigger, how her thighs began to widen.

“No...That’s not right…”

She couldn’t make herself pull away as her legs began to seem smaller or larger. No matter how many times she told herself that it wasn’t real, she couldn’t shake the image out of her head. Her legs even started to feel heavier in some places, but lighter in other places.

"It's so weird...It feels so uncomfortable…"

She took a shaky breath as her eyes began to water, fear and discomfort starting to set in. She was scared, scared of what her mind was doing to her. Scared of what she knew was going to happen. She knew she was going to die.

"I...I can't take this feeling anymore!"

Melissa found herself on the floor of her home, taking the knife to her calve. She didn't feel the pain that followed, her senses dulled by the growing discomfort of her legs seemingly growing and shrinking. She wasted no time before moving to her other leg, slicing into her other calve, the one that had appeared smaller.

"It's...No use…"

She allowed the knife to fall from her hand, the pain finally setting in as she came back to reality. Melissa let out a painful shriek, laying on her back as blood slowly seeped out of her wounds. As a coldness came over her, she closed her eyes. For the first time in months, she was still. She heard the sounds of the house settling, the sounds of cars passing in the streets but best of all, she heard the quiet.

"The sound of silence…Is...Nice…"

She thought to herself before she slipped into unconsciousness. Unfortunately, she didn't stay awake long enough to see the neighbor run into the house and scream before calling 911.

This was just the start to Melissa's fight with her mind, however. What she didn't know was that she was in for many more battles with her own mind. But the next time it happened, she wouldn't be alone.