The large jade colored door creaked open revealing a lady not yet fifty. Just months before, long brown hair had surrounded her smooth complexion, but now a pink wrap covered pale skin. It had aged in eight months what most people did in several years.
“Jamie,” Edna smiled, holding out frail hands, “I missed you so much.”
Jamie took her in a warm embrace, resting her heavy head on her mother’s loving shoulder. Jamie closed her eyes to prevent the tears from pouring out. She smiled when she broke away. She had missed that love. Love which requires nothing, yet gives of its deepest founts.
The living room was just as clean and cozy as when she had left. Everything was in the right spot and in order and the couch was just as warm and inviting as before. The walls remained blue and the carpet cream. Edna’s face beamed as she asked every question in the world she could think of.
“So...meet any...boys?”
Jamie bit her lip and took a breath, “Well...there was one, but...he wasn’t who I thought he was.”
Edna’s smile fell, “What happened?”
“I don’t know...I met him in my math class and we hit it off. I mean we hung out a few times, but...” Jamie played with her rings.
“But what, honey?”
Jamie thought for a second, “Let’s just say I need to stop liking shallow guys.”
“Oh, honey, you are beautiful. Just have patience and stop looking. Let him find you. Ok?” Edna placed her hand on Jamie’s knee.
Jamie forced a smile, “Ok.”
After their conversation, Jamie took her bags up to her old room. Opening the door revealed her sanctuary for many years, untouched like everything else. Her bed was exactly how she had left it, white sheets tucked in tight with pink pillows and a teddy bear at the head. Her dresser was still a mess, cluttered with perfumes and jewelry. The mirror above it still wore pictures of high school friends who were now scattered across the country.
Jamie dropped her bags beside her closet stuffed with clothes she now considered hideous. Fashion hardly mattered to her now, though. Her classes had consumed so much of her time that midway through her first semester she stopped caring and began throwing on the most comfortable thing she could find, which was many times pajama pants and a t-shirt.
Jamie slipped on her fuzzy blue house shoes and trudged back downstairs. Feeling hungry, she went to the kitchen. As soon as she entered the room her mind was taken off the food and focused on the dishes piled up in the sink.
Finally, something she could help with. Rolling up her sleeves, she began to scrub away the grease and grim. Jamie looked out the kitchen window and watched as the swings in the backyard moved with the breeze. She studied the trees with their fluttering leaves and the birds as they splashed around in the bird bath. She noticed how the sun peered down on them through the breaks in the trees and how it made the water glisten. Jamie was captivated by nature’s beauty here in this moment.
“Can you hand me the Windex, please? It’s under the sink.”
“Sure,” Jamie said, in a daze. She opened the cabinet door and pulled out the blue bottle. Turning around to hand it over, she snapped back to reality and noticed it was a lanky man who had asked her for it. Frightened, she screamed and instinctively held the bottle as if it were a gun.
“Ah, I see you’ve met Forrest.” Edna chuckled, descending the stairs to see what was going on.
Oooh, just read the first chapter but this is better, in my opinion. I kind of laughed when Forrest asked her for the Windex and she saw it wasn't her mother (I'm weird like that), I thought that was a good way to introduce him. Then there was the abrupt ending.
Keep writing 
*Foreseer*
I'm really getting into your writing and I like your story line.
Most of the crit has been done for me already but...
"So...meet any...boys?" Edna asked, eyes wide.
"Mother! You should be resting and I should be washing those."
Turning around to hand it over, she snapped back to reality and noticed it was a young man who had asked her for it. Frightened, she screamed and instinctively held the bottle as if it were a gun.
Hey again, KiteRide!
I liked this chapter quite a bit, too- it definitely lived up to your first. 
Edna was an interesting character...more subtly developed than the rest had been, but she has potential for greatness.
A few things to look at:
EMOTIONAL AND FRAIL CHARACTERS:
I've got two people I know going through chemotherapy at the moment. One's a seventh-grader, the other a man around Edna's age:
"It sucks. The hospital is cold and totally boring."
"There's nothing to do. The food doesn't taste very good, and I feel disgusting."
Of course, you can guess which one's which. If they were to speak directly from an emotionally charged Lifetime movie, it would sound something like this:
"Oh, the poor starving children in Africa. They are so much worse off than I...I shall go and do missionary work, whilst I am throwing up all over the place!"
"Yes, I'll take the kids for a bike ride. No, Francine, don't be a hero...I'll...do...it..."
Probably not very realistic considering how one feels during the process, right? Let's face it: Edna's going to be completely drained, and probably not in the best of moods. She may not complain, but she's probably not all there.
That's why the washing-dishes seemed a bit out of place to me- personally, I'd describe how Edna had a lot of trouble getting the dishes into place, and, if Jamie really feels compelled to help, Edna probably wouldn't protest.
Make a note about how she would have acted normally, but don't go into melodrama mode.
BUILDING SUSPENSE: This is what was missing that probably made the ending seem a bit abrupt.
So, there's an inevitably important character who just happens to pop up, right? What you want to do from the middle of the section (wherever you feel it fit), is put in little clues. Does she hear footsteps? Smell cologne? Insert those into the description, as well as a little apprehension, to make the ending fit.
___
Another good section, KiteRide! On to number three.
Ah...that was an abrupt ending =D
I must say, I thought your first chapter had a whole lot more emotion. For this being her seeing her mom for the first time in a while you think it would be a lot more blood shaking than it actually is.
That's all for now. I hope to see more of this, it's really quite good =D
Keep it up!
-JC
After that rather thorough critique what is there left for me to say? Lol. I liked this chapter and you've introduce the character Edna well and a good cliff-hanger there at the end. Perhaps you could add a little more description? But then it's not too important in this chapter so I suppose it can wait until Jamie gets a proper look at Forrest. He sounds like an interesting character though and I'm already intrigued as to his reason for being there so take some time to paint the reader a vivid picture of him. Looking forward to the next part,
Heather xx
Hey KiteRide86!!
Nice little chapter you have here, even though I've yet to read the first. I'll do it a bit later, because I think I may have to leave after this crit.
Here we go!
I don't think you actually meant to capitalize 'large' right there. If you did, then you shouldn't from now on. ^_^ It's not a proper noun or the beginning of a sentence.The Large jade colored door ...
This is the second half of the first sentence, just so you know. Don't writer out numbers in numerical form, it's better just to type it out unless it's something like 1,489,654,456,991,000....creaked open revealing a lady not yet 50.
A comma would have been best to place after 'before', just because it's introductory.Just months before long brown hair had surrounded...
You've repeatd 'skin' one after the other. It just sounds repetative and unnecessary. Try:...but now a pink wrap covered pale skin. Her skin had aged in eight months what most people did in several years.
See? You're still talking about the same thing, just without the continuous use of a single word....but now a pink wrap covered pale skin. It had aged in eight months what most people did in several years.
How can a shoulder be loving? ^_^ It would be better as:Jamie took her in a warm embrace, resting her heavy head on her mother’s loving shoulder.
I still don't think I worded that how I wanted to. *sigh*Jamie took her in a warm embrace, lovingly resting her heavy head on her mother’s shoulder.
Again, a comma should go after 'conversation'. Prepositional phrase, or it's introductory. Ah well. It's one of the two!After their conversation Jamie took her...
You kinda skipped a line between the the parts I've underlined. It's not really something I'm critting, just an F.Y.I so you'll know.Jamie dropped her bags beside her closet stuffed with clothes she now considered hideous. Fashion hardly mattered to her now, though. Her classes had consumed so much of her time that midway through her first
semester she stopped caring and began throwing on the most comfortable thing she could find, which was many times pajama pants and a t-shirt.
You need a question mark after 'please', instead of a period.“Can you hand me the Windex, please. It’s under the sink.”
Comma after 'frightened'.Frightened she screamed and instinctively...
That's the end???
Hehe. Well, cya!!
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