The men shout as the storm brews in
Some of their foots connect with my shin feet..
I can’t understand why
I couldn’t move because of the song travelling through the sky this line is too long
The rain poured in on my face
I stared at her revealing lace so.. why has the POV changed?
She sang her own soliloquy
To her, I had so much to say soliloquy doesn't rhyme with 'say'
I dove in the water
Making last minute prayers to my Father
I heard the ship unite with a rock rock is a motion, not a sound. I understand but it's a 'forced rhyme'
My men’s screams were filled with shock.
I swam up to the beautiful lady with a harp
She smiled and touched me, her nails sharp.
Her white wings stretched up in the air, basking in glory glory doesn't rhyme with sorry
I was love struck; her eyes were sorry nice line, very beautiful
“Do not leave me, my love,” I whispered as I floated on the sands of Byron. awkward line lengeth, beautiful wording
She grants me with a kiss, my beautiful Siren.
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