Johnny's Adventures In Wonderland

I've been writing this story for a while and I've been looking around for good constructive criticism about it, so this is the first part of the first chapter of my story.

Chapter 1

The mirror basilica

Screech! Scream! Crash! Puff! Ugh! And.

Nothing was able to penetrate through my eardrums when I began regaining consciousness within the white sheets of air that was the airbag. My eyes began to open but my ears were still shut while I laid back into my coupe’s leather seat and looked dazedly to the right to find Claudia, who sat next to me in the passenger seat, completely unharmed but was as confused as I was. We both sat there silent until Claudia placed her hand on my shoulder.

“Johnny,” she said. “…Johnny we need to check the guys in the other car.”

I looked back at her.

“What?” I replied, unable to hear her.

“The other passengers, remember?”

“…What?”

She stuck her index finger into my ears and wiggled it around, annoying the heck out of me.

“The other people!” she exclaimed, this time her voice got through.

“Ow, don’t do that.” I replied opening the car door, unbuckling myself, and getting out of the vehicle. “Let’s go see the damage”.

The streets outside were desolate, with the cool night air breezing and the street lamps blazing. I checked the destruction on my coupe. It was pretty badly damaged in the front end, but other than that it was drivable. It was a lucky break for us, because the other car turned out to be a massive eighteen-wheeler that could’ve flattened my car if it wanted to.

“Oh well, at least the car is still in good condition,” I said to myself. “Hey Claudia! How’s the other driver?” I yelled out while she climbed up the ladder leading into the front seat.

“There’s no one in the driver’s seat!” She replied loudly.

“Well trucks can’t drive themselves. The other driver has to be somewhere.”

“Maybe he bailed out!”

“Then in that case I’ll look for him. You go call the insurance agency and a tow truck.”

“Good plan. Check the back of his truck just in case.”

She dropped from the high seat and headed back for the car to grab her phone while I headed to the back of the massive vehicle to inspect the storage of the carrier truck. I opened the back doors of the vehicle and revealed hundreds of crates of who-knows-what. Climbing inside, I checked through every nook and cranny to find packages, food, and other stuff but still no driver.

“Well that was a waste of time?” I mumbled jumping off the back of the wheeler. “Why was I looking for this guy anyway? If he’s out of his seat it must mean he’s-.”

I wasn’t able to finish my sentence. In an instant, I was smacked down by what looked felt a white handed glove that grabbed me by the back of the head and slammed my face down onto the ground. I felt blood begin trickling down my face as I slowly got back up on my feet in pain and anger.

I looked around to find the culprit, only to find myself alone in the suburban street. Frustrated, I ran back to the car holding my head injury to see Claudia who was done making a phone call. She looked a bit different, as if she brightened her face in the past few minutes. It did linger in my mind a bit, even when she came up to me to give a brief embrace, but I decided to let it go for another day, seeing no point in it.

“Hey there, where have you been for so long?” she asked, letting go of me with a joyful smile, completely oblivious to my bleeding face.

“I’ve been gone for only two minutes,” I replied, spitting out some of her blond strands of hair. “And for the record I got extreme head trauma right now.”

“What head trauma?”

“This one right here!” I yelled showing her the large gash on the top of my forehead.

“Oh I’m sure that will heal up soon.” She replied. “Anyway I was thinking of going fishing tomorrow.”

“Fishing? What about my possible concussion!? What about my-!?”

“Well whining about it won’t do any good for you. Maybe you should try talking about something more positive, like us fishing at the local lake.”

A silent pause sat there for a while I tried to figure out what was wrong with Claudia, so I answered.

“So… you want to say anything else about your weekend plans? Because I got the time to listen now and-.”

But she wasn’t listening. She was staring over my shoulder looking at something baleful, so I turned around as well to see what she saw. A hooded man cast in dark shadows hiding his face under a long and wrinkly robe stood a few meters away looking around like some sort of tourist. However, at the sight of us, he instantly ran off toward the nearby subdivision, leaving us in confused at what happened.

“Should we follow him?” I asked.

“Well if you met a man running around in a cloak like that, wouldn’t you stalk him? Besides we need to take you to see a doctor. Your head looks like it got hit hard.”

“…Seriously have you dropped on your head when I was gone? I’m sorry but this you’re ridiculous,” I answered, unsure of what she just said and ran off to find the mysterious man.

The hoodman ran down the street with extreme speed, passing the darkened houses like a ghost floating on air followed by my loud footsteps and the soft pitter patter of Claudia’s shoes. The distance between the three of us increased in distance with the hoodman running faster and Claudia stumbling behind.

Thinking about it now, I really didn’t know why I was chasing him in the first place. I left thousands worth of belongings back in my car, but I honestly didn’t care a bit, and besides, anyone wearing odd clothing such as his would probably have something interesting.

The hoodman reached a nearby church at the end of the neighborhood, one I’ve never seen before in the sixteen years I’ve lived here. He rushed up the flights of stairs and opened the large crimson doors and ran inside. I snickered devilishly.

“Looks like he’s trapped,” I said turning around. “Hey are you still following me Claudia? Claudia?”

She wasn’t, but I figured that she must’ve fallen behind, gave up on the chase, and headed back to my coupe. It was probably better for her anyway. She was unwell and needed to go home to rest. After all it’s three in the morning, much too late for a fifteen year old girl after a teenage trauma.

I ran up the stairs and grabbed a hold of the two door handles. With all of my strength I pulled on the brass rails and yanked the doors open, only to see myself in a mirror stretched across the entire length and width of the opening.

“Since when was this here?” I wondered while looking for a way around it.

I touched the surface of the mirror and applied pressure to find that it wasn’t supported at all because it immediately fell down to the ground and smashed into tiny pieces. The interior of the basilica was revealed. It was a grand hall with no seats or anything besides a chest at the altar and some stone statues at the side. On the walls there was a mix of rectangular mirrors and marble tiles rowed up in a pattern that resembled a checkerboard. Unfortunately, however, there was no hoodman anywhere.

“I must’ve lost him,” I sighed. “Where the hell is he?”

“Good question. Have you checked the altar?” A voice said.

I turned around to see the hooded man sitting on the chest with his legs crossed.

“Ha! I caught you!”

“Oh great job, great job. How on earth did you figure that out?” He replied, his words full of sarcasm while he clapped his hands. “What do you need?”

And the same question came back to me again; why did I follow him anyway?

“I…don’t know.”

He sighed as he placed his hands firmly on his hips.

“No reason huh,” He said looking around the basilica, concocting a scheme of some sort while holding his gloved hand to his concealed face in a detective like fashion. “…Then I guess I’ll give you a reason.”

He snapped his fingers and multiple glassed mirrors extended from their walls by robotic arms. They reached down towards me; each one surrounding me in a circle.

“How about we play a couple of games then?” he asked.

“Heh, no thanks,” I replied nervously, walking back toward the mirrors behind me. “I think I need to get back home.”

I pushed two of the mirrors away and walked back to the crimson doors. However, when I opened them, I was struck back by some black beast on the other side of the doors thirteen feet in size with gigantic muscular arms. The monkey like monster grabbed the two entryways, slammed them shut again, and kept me sealed in. Unharmed, I looked back at the hoodman.

“What the heck was that?”

“Why, that was a beaztiel.”

“I think it was a monkey.”

“No, if you observed it properly, you’d realize wasn’t a monkey. The arms are much too big. Now about that game you promised?”

“I didn’t prom-,”

I stopped for a moment. I looked at the situation, and it was clear to me that I didn’t have a choice in this, especially with that, whatever it was, outside. In this world, he was the master, and to get out, I had to play along with that.

“Okay I’ll do your challenge, but only if you let me leave afterward.”

“Very well, then in that case I’ll give you this as a gift. Don’t lose them.”

He opened up his robe (which still didn’t reveal any part of his body) and pulled out a long rectangular present wrapped in ribbons and green wrapping paper. He tossed it about half the distance of the whole basilica right into my hands. I ripped off all of the paper and opened the white cardboard box to reveal a box of bandages, a pocket sized spiral notebook, and most importantly, a thirty- inch sword with a curved steel edge, versatile handgrip, and a sheath and rope for carrying it. I grabbed blade and swung it over my back, took the bandages and placed it in my denim jeans, and retrieved my notebook and dropped it in the pocket of my leather jacket.

“Maybe you should check the tag before we begin our game,” the hoodman said, sitting down on the chest again. “You might find it useful.”

I looked down to see a tag with the words For Johnny, on it and opened up the tiny card. The card had these words on it.

Dear Johnny, (how he knew my name I’ll never know.)

By the time you reach this point when reading this, the games would’ve already begun. You’ll have to fight yourself that lies within the mirrors around you. Good luck!

With Love, (there was no name)

P.S. If you’re still reading this, then STOP READING! They’re right behind you! Seriously, they’re right there, RIGHT THERE! Come on man you need to turn around! They’re right there! Oh, wait, you’re dead aren’t you. Oh no, you’re dead man! I told you to look around but you didn’t, and I was looking forward to this game. *sigh* never mind. I’m tired of writing. Whatever.

Lucky for me, I didn’t even read past With Love part and saw each of my reflections walk through their glass prisons and drop to the ground like shadows. Each of the eight doppelgangers took out their blades (oddly their blades weren’t the exact replica of my own. Instead they were carrying black bastard swords) and charged at me. Surrounded and desperate, I ran towards the weakest part of their circle, a single doppelganger with a fourth of the circle, and swung violently. It stopped charging and backed up into the corner, but was unable to escape my brutality.

I was able to chop through his blade and cut him up into tiny pieces (fortunately for me and my queasy stomach, the copies lacked any form of blood, bone, or sense of pain, which led my slaughtering to be less grotesque). It fell to the ground looking like shredded paper and melted into the ground and faded out of existence, but his seven vengeful brothers were already on me by the time I defeated him.

The fight became more confusing and frightening to the untrained eye with each passing second. The barrage of sharpened metal kept me from getting back on the offense since I constantly had to block and parry each and everyone of the men who swung at me. They all closed in on me, restricting my movement to a few steps, but just before I reached the point of panic, I was struck with an ingenious plan. I let them get in closer, crouching down more and keeping my blade up to defend myself. Then, when they were only a foot away from me, I leveled my arm and spanned a full circle with my blade like a blender, chopping through each of them at the stomach line. Five of the seven were split in two and melted into the ground, while the two wounded doppelgangers tried to stagger off. They soon followed their comrades I took them out with a single slice each.

The adjustable mirrors retracted and moved back to their original spots. The hoodman was clapping.

“Well done kid.” He congratulated. “How do you feel?”

“That. Was horrible. I’m never. Doing that. Again.”

I started panting angrily. He nearly had me killed by those monsters and still he thought we were only playing a game of his. I raised my sword and tried to walk toward him with the last of my adrenaline pumping through my system, but I couldn’t move or speak anymore, my body becoming a statue. I looked at myself through one of the ground mirrors to see my body metaphorically mutilated in my reflection. Deep cuts were lacerated on my back, and my sleeves were torn, revealing black bruises on my arms. My green eyes were watery and my hands were blistered from holding my sword too hard. The pain gripped me and brought me to the ground in tears. The hoodman laughed.

“I see you’re having one of those receptor problems. Interesting subject in the field of psychology; you don’t feel a thing until you’re aware of it. Then your brain catches up with your body’s status, the pain receptors act to it and fire the shockwaves and BAM! Your body becomes paralyzed in injury and there’s no way to conceal it anymore.”

“Shut it you bastard.” I spat out lying on the floor.

“You know I hoped you learned your lessons today on fighting because, that was terrible. Lesson one, never go in a frenzy in a fight, always swing instinctively, and with technique. Lesson two; never let the enemy come in too close. Your defense is less effective in close quarters with a sword like that. You’d be better off dropping it and battling with your bare hands. And lesson three; the most important lesson of all. Never trust strangers, and as you know I’m a stranger, and what did you do? You trusted me, so whose fault is it here, mines or yours?”

He laughed again and disappeared like a ninja, only to reappear again.

“I’ll be around in case you still need me, and don’t be discouraged to see me again. I’m no longer a stranger to you anymore,” and he disappeared once again like a ninja.