Buried

Shine,
when the light in the west
fades to a deep black,
and the darkness of night
doesn't let you look back

Dream,
when the world eats up
your colorful mind,
and spits you out in soulless black-and-white,
paint purple outside the lines

Smile,
even if you're at the end of the road
no one is here for you, nobody knows.
just one person may see that smile,
and bring you back out of that sad for a while.

When all hope seems lost,
and all your words seem wrong,
just stop talking and listen
answers will come along.

All the problems in the world
could be solved, if for once,
we'd stop talking and listen,
have a little patience.

Shine on and be merry,
dream big - don't think small,
smile wider, but please,
take a moment to recall

Not all who shine are happy
Not all who dream, succeed
Not all those who smile, aren't hurting inside,
deep in them their pain is buried.

Comments & reviews · 5
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User avatar
SilentRain
Review

Hello, Rain here, so I aposlutly LOVE this poem! It is so great! The theme was really good and it was really nicely written. I think you need to go back and capitolize the first word in the second line of the first three stanzas, or put a "," after the words "Smile" Shine" and "Dream"...

The only thing that I really didn't like was the very last line...

but friendship is all they need.


To me, that just ruins it... I think you NEED to change it, but that is just me...

~Rain~

User avatar
Khepri
Comment

Hey Erin, I changed this poem...it was terrible from start to finish. I am embarrassed I even posted it...please don't judge me on it :( so here is another poem, I hope it's better than the last!

User avatar
Khepri
Comment

I deleted this poem!!! it is gone. and gooooooood riddance!

Random avatar
Erinaghdra
Comment

i would recommend not posting things like this, obviously unfinished, sloopy work with no vowels. if you wanted to post it i would have recommended editing first



Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.
— Mark Twain