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The Struggle Is real

by KenMearsAuthor


The struggle is real

The world is on fire,

And everyone is a liar

The struggle is real

There is temptation and sin around every corner

I swear it is torture

The struggle is real

People are drawn in and dragged down

As everyone has a nervous breakdown

The struggle is real

War, famine, and death abound

And the wire around the world's neck is tightly wound

The struggle is real

I have seen so much pain

It has been seared into my brain

The struggle is real

The world is dying

And everyone is crying

The struggle is real

The world is on fire,

And everyone is a liar


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6 Reviews


Points: 24
Reviews: 6

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Sat Nov 09, 2019 3:36 am
AureliaValus wrote a review...



The concept of this is amazing, I really love it. I think if you gave more detailed descriptions of the world around you and your surroundings, even descriptions of yourself or the "war, famine, and death..." (Not TOO detailed, but detailed enough that the readers have an image). Overall I really like this :)




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19 Reviews


Points: 339
Reviews: 19

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Tue Nov 05, 2019 3:43 pm
kaceymackwriter wrote a review...



Hiya, it's Mack just dropping by with a review!

First, I really did enjoy this poem. It's an accurate reflection of a lot of the things we see in the world on a daily basis and I agree with a lot of the message that you're conveying here.

Second, I just had a few nit picky things with the meter that's more just a personal preference then anything else so feel free to take everything I say with a grain of salt! I like the format, but I feel like you could separate the stanza's between each "the struggle is real" because every three lines seems to be it's own little mini stanza. Then there are a few lines like "There is temptation and sin around every corner" and "And the wire around the world's neck is tightly wound" that are a little long compared to the rest of the lines and sort of throw off the rhythm that I had in my head as I continued reading.

Other then that, I didn't see any real grammar or punctuation issues with this and I really did enjoy it quite a lot. Hope this is a helpful review and I hope you have a good day/night depending on where you are in the world! I hope to see some more of your work in the future!




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182 Reviews


Points: 1343
Reviews: 182

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Mon Nov 04, 2019 8:17 pm
EverLight wrote a review...



EverLight here with a review! This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel or poem seem bad, but be warned you may feel offended anyway

First Impression
This is partly true. But mostly what I feel is sorrow.

Nitpicks
You had none

Style & Flow
I have no suggestions here

You did an awesome job!

EverLight Out





“Can a magician kill a man by magic?” Lord Wellington asked Strange. Strange frowned. He seemed to dislike the question. “I suppose a magician might,” he admitted, “but a gentleman never could.”
— Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell