Published June 27, 2011
Floating on an ocean of black,
Cushioned by a blanket of stars.
My world revolving,
Around nothing but you.
Warm smiles of silver,
Beaming down to earth.
Gently kissing the forehead,
Of a graceful sleeping beauty.
My love for you reaches past,
The very periphery of the cosmos.
Devotion so great,
It traces the edges of everything.
Cosmic sparks of radiance,
Showers of light.
Gleaming and glowing,
Like an endless embrace
Waxing and waning,
But always sending love.
Sweet eternal love,
Love from afar.
Lonesome and forlorn,
Like a ship lost at sea.
Looking but never touching,
The beloved world below.
Doomed, star crossed lovers are we,
Like Tristan and Isolde.
A love so true it hurts,
So true, it cannot be.
You are my Guinevere,
My lovely Juliet, and I will be
Your Lancelot, your Romeo.
For it is you, that makes me whole.
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138,007 Literary Works • 672,071 Reviews
I loved it. Very much my kind of poem. I like using the moon as material to. I found the use of the two star-crossed couples an interesting take on it. Because we all know if the earth and the moon really did hook up...well we'd been in for some troubles. Just kidding. Good Job and good luck in the future!
im here to review tour poem and i nust say it's pretty good.
that made me wanna look up at the stars. the wording was dead on.
i thought that was beautifully written and well expressed. you did a good job writing this poem and i hope to read more of your work.
I feel stupid, but I don't know who Tristan and Isolde are. I agree with Belle that there seems to be rythm in some places, but absent in others. But it is only absent in a few places, so good job. My favorite stanza is:
Lonesome and forlorn,
Like a ship lost at sea.
Looking but never touching,
The wonderful world below.
What great imagery! A great piece.
Wow, this is a beautiful piece! I love the fantastic imagery, wording, thoughtfulness....it's just perfect!
awww it was soo cute and sweet i love this poem
The imagery is gorgeous. Beautiful exposition and use of description. Not sure if there's a particular structure to it, but there was a certain rhythm to it in some parts and absent in others. But overall, great. Good job!
Your really good XD third poem I read of yours and I really like it. The only thing that jumped out to me while reading was this part:
I really like it. Keep it coming! WO!
Doomed, star crossed lovers are we,
Like Tristan and Isolde.
A love so true it hurts,
So true, it cannot be.
I know what your trying to say but the whole poem has rhythm and when I got to this part I lost the rhythm.
Other than that, amazing poem!