Death and Destruction.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well...this is a rather powerful little tale of vicious cyclic destruction of just all life by the sounds of it...oh dear...well...more details down below on that...

Anyway let's get right to it,

I looked over the charred battlefield, everyone I knew and loved, reduced to blackened corpses. My mother and father, side by side, their love for each other still showing in death. My brothers and sisters, fighting separately, but all fighting for the same cause. Aunts and uncles, mangled and unrecognizable. Grandmothers and grandfathers, more black than grey. And me, standing alone, the last survivor, on a charred and ruined war. My cowardice lead them to their ruin, I could have saved them all! I scream in agony, there's no one to hear me.

I take off on wings of fire, I must avenge the world, and all the people in it. I flew right through the aliens protecting their horde, right through their protective barriers of metal. If my world had fallen, so would theirs. I burned until the ship was deserted, and the fire smoldered and smoke threatened to plug my lungs, but I didn't care. I took the controls, and brought that ship up and out.

I landed on their homeworld, I wanted them to see the desolation they had caused, only on their own soil. I knew, there was enough fire in me to set 50 worlds to burn, to explode, to get scattered throughout the universe. I landed, exited the ship, and in the moment before I blew myself up, I saw mothers, and children, but I didn't care. I blew up. And I watched in spirit, I saw everything burn. Charred families, just like I had seen on earth. I was just as bad as them, I had destroyed everything they knew and loved, and I felt their pain. And I wished, that I could go back in time, and destroy the threat before it got out of hand.

They saw their own charred people, they were now an endangered species. Each one felt as I did when I saw the remains of my family. Each one took off on a search for the culprit, they wanted revenge, but you can't find a ghost any more than you can reverse the events that happened in the past. I had gotten what I had wanted, but I no longer wanted it. Each one found a planet they thought was responsible, and destroyed it. It only took a day in my vision to see them all die out, and they had destroyed all other life.

But I saw one little sign of life, a hope. One seed floated through the cosmos. I snatched it up in my grasp, and took it to a planet. The planet once had had much life, once had been destroyed by one person. And I planted the seed. I wanted to have one thing, one hope, that one day, they would be reborn. This was my last chance, the last chance of all the worlds, to build back.

Hello! Rissymay here to review your story. Here are some of my thoughts:

I scream in agony, there's no one to hear me. -- this description is too simple for all the pain that's going on here. I suggest describing the scream- did his voice crack, or can you compare it to the cry of some animal?

I take off on wings of fire, I must avenge the world, and all the people in it.--ok, so I feel like you kind of jump from one emotion the main character feels to the next. He's very guilty, angry, and confused at first, and now suddenly he is bold and hateful. A transition between these emotions is needed- what is he thinking that makes him/her feel this way?

Ok, so the background is never really clear in this story... how did this giant war start?

I think you need more transitions from different topics- you kinda jump around, talking about one thing, then move on to the next. There's not really a connection between these.

What about the sign of life makes the main character change his feelings? The sign of life you describe makes me think back to how the main character was in the beginning- he was the only left, just as this planet is.

I'd like to see a lot more descriptive emotion from your main character...

So yeah. Basically, there's just some missing information. A lot of sci-fi stuff is similar to what you've written, so when you write sci-fi stuff, you really need to make sure it's different from everything else.

Keep writing!
-rissymay

Cat here. *wipes tears form eye* That... *blows nose loudly* That definitely qualifies as emotionally painful, Kelpies. (In a good way. )
OK, first thing: I totally LOVE this story. The poor aliens, the poor humans, the poor galaxy. Endless violence, eternal suffering. You don't know who starts the destruction, or ends it, but whole planets are murdered. You use FANTASTIC imagery and I just ADORE the ending. A lonely blackened ghost, planting the last seed, trying to undo their final deadly actions as they fade into the afterlife. <3
Second: How is a human burning and flying on wings of fire and bursting through steel walls and spontaneously combusting their body to the extent of killing a planet? I'm probably just being too literal here, but as far as I know, humans can't do that. (We can't right? Right???)
Like I gushed earlier, I think this is awesome. You're so good at writing. So keep doing it, for the puppies sake. THINK OF THE PUPPIES, KELPIES.
~The (very very much dead by now) Cat

I'll do a review! <3

I looked over the charred battlefield, everyone I knew and loved, reduced to blackened corpses.

My cowardice lead them to their ruin, I could have saved them all! I scream in agony, there's no one to hear me.

What the Aliens Saw: