16+ Language Mature Content

burnt pansies ripped apart

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and mature content.

The floral son, born from a sacred conception,

Emereged as it left the fleshy, maternal home.

But lo and behold, the son's chambers had big doors

Which were covered with unmovable red boulders.

The floral heir, now civilized and dependent,

Realized his petals were ugly and odorous.

Disgusted, his parents painted him hastily,

Turning him into a strange, malicious, blind beast.

The floral lad, shot with several sharp arrows,

Sought to answer the unanswered, mundane dogmas.

"You who wield the etheogens of misery,

Come, for my flowers shall answer your dead prayers."

and there were flowers

having the same faces

crying, laughing, screaming,

as they were thrown in fire

because they were dry

and produced no fruits

Comments & reviews · 5
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Heyo! I'm Zayin and I'm here to review this lovely complexing piece of work.
(ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

This poem is a powerful and haunting meditation on identity, transformation, and the destructive weight of societal and parental expectations. The vivid imagery and rich symbolism weave a tapestry of emotions, from anguish to defiance, that leaves a profound impact on the reader.

The "floral son" is an evocative metaphor for vulnerability and growth, and the unyielding "red boulders" poignantly represent the barriers imposed by the world. The contrast between the inherent beauty of flowers and the perception of them as "ugly and odorous" illustrates the corrosive effect of external judgment, while the parents' desperate attempt to change the son captures the tragic loss of authenticity.

The poem’s later stanzas, where flowers are thrown into the fire, deepen the metaphor, reflecting the futility of conforming to a world that demands fruits but dismisses the intrinsic beauty of blooming. The lines about "crying, laughing, screaming" flowers offer a striking commentary on the universality of pain and the silencing of individuality.

Through its layered narrative and evocative language, this poem invites reflection on the tension between self-worth and external validation. It challenges readers to question the roles we play in perpetuating these cycles of harm, making it as thought-provoking as it is moving. An extraordinary piece of writing that resonates long after the final line. I will say that I did have to read this a few times to conclude a review but each time I read it, it definitely began to piece together to become an understanding. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and reviewing this! I look forward to seeing more of your lovely work on YWS! -ZK

I actually meant "red boulders" both literally and metaphorically (ok, maybe there weren't actually boulders)! A personal story, but my mother actually couldn't let me out due to a tumor-like object so I couldn't leave... yeah.

User avatar
Vanya
Review
Vanya wrote a review · Sat Nov 23, 2024 11:15 am

Hi there
At first, I tried to understand it, but it was far from my understanding. I could only understand the first two lines, and yes, it's not you. Your poem is perfect. It has a certain rhythm that makes me want to read it. I read is three times, but the problem was not in the poem. Probably, I don't hold the amount of intelligence to understand it. Because not everyone can understand the art. I really appreciate that you wrote it. Don't stop writing, as it is the only way some of us can speak...

Hi there!

At first glance, I didn't want to read this poem. I feared it was gonna be something completely different than it is, and I'm sorry for that. All in all, this actually a really nice poem. While, I don't understand it, I'll be honest, I like the way it sounds and the way it's written.
I'm sure you have other fabulous pieces, and I'd love to read those. This poem is truly amazing and the ended made me laugh a little. Thank you for that.


Thank you so much for writing!
~Taost

Oh that's definitely fine!!! This work was either to be an anthology or a longer poem, but I decided to keep it short. Titles can be misleading sometimes.

User avatar
Alwaysea
Review

Ohh...that's really deep. I can completely understand your perspective. The one who truly experiences these struggles definitely goes through a tough time.

As for the poem, in the third line, "But lo and behold," it seems like there might be a word missing, but it could also be fine as it is. The "floral son" really faces hardship, from dealing with parents' expectations to the pressures of society, giving in to each situation because it feels like there's nothing you can do. It's terrifying to not be able to be yourself and feel like you're being shaped into what others want.

No matter what, it's important to keep a little hope alive. "Be strong, be bold, and be brave." I hope this message helps.

Whenever you get the chance, I would love for you to check out my work as well. I really appreciate.

Thank you for the criticism. I'm still going through somewhat a difficult time, but thank you for reading.

User avatar
Kelisot
Comment

I had something happen in real life. I don’t think I can explain it explicitly for various reasons, but PLEASE DO NOT pity me. Doing so would be the worst case scenario.

I still don’t know if there were other flowers.



“A good book isn't written, it's rewritten.”
— Phyllis A. Whitney, Guide to Fiction Writing