Published April 17, 2010
NEW: This is the winner of the Dialouge Contest put together by Lauren2010. It was to see who could write the best dialogue... but without using words like said, asked, yelled, etc. So, I won. I wonder how that happened? 
((WARNING: Parts of this may seem off-kilter, or not make any sense whatsoever. Just so you know.))
And, here it is, in all it's funny potential, the Prophet of Doom. 
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The Prophet of Doom
“Hmm…”
“What’s up?”
“Nuthin, I’m just trying to think of what to write next.”
“Really. Mind telling me what you happen to be writing?”
“Mmm… Some sort of story, I guess.”
“About what?”
“… World War Three, I think.”
“… World War Three?”
“Yup.”
“There hasn’t been a World War Three yet.”
“My point exactly.”
“Huh?”
“I’m hoping to be a new-age prophet of doom.”
“… Really.”
“Yeah, really! I just figured, hey, there are tons of crazy people who predicted all sortsa things – like that one dude, whatshisface, he predicted the rise of Hitler!”
“… I have no clue who you’re talking about.”
“And that other dude, that one who... er, I forget, but my point is, there are tons of ‘prophets’ mentioned throughout history!”
“And you can’t remember any of their names, can you?”
“Erm, well…”
“Go on.”
“There was, uh, lesse, uh… Joan of Arc?”
“… The Saint? The one who heard voices telling her about the French Revolution?”
“Yeah!”
“I’m not sure those were prophecies, per say.”
“… Uh… How did we get on this subject again?”
“You said something about World War Three.”
“Oh, yeah! I remember now!”
“For once.”
“Huh?”
“Nothing, nothing. Please continue,”
“Right. Well, I figure if I write this like I mean it – like I’ve, like, seen it in a vision, right? – people might actually believe it!”
“… You can’t be serious.”
“Yes I am!”
“Why would you play off of humanity’s various fears and paranoia like that?”
“… I dunno. It just seemed like fun.”
“Alright, maybe it is, but you’re writing it as a fiction novel, right?”
“Right.”
“Then why would people believe it?”
“Um…”
“Give me one good example of a fiction novel people took seriously.”
“… Is this a trick question?”
“… No, but it was probably a stupid one.”
“Right.”
“So… To rephrase that, what fiction work could possibly compete with the Prophets?”
“Well… there is Cullenism.”
“… Cullen… ism?”
“Yup.”
“Please tell me it isn’t what I think it is.”
“Yup, yup, yup! It’s a religion dedicated to Twilight.”
“… Shoot me now.”
“So, you see? My WWIII prophecy doesn’t sound so farfetched, now does it?”
“N-no, I suppose not. Now, gimmie a picket sign. I’ll be standing in Times Square declaring the imminent doom of humanity.”
“… Wow.”
“And try and find me one of those leather jackets – like Sarah Palin wears.”
“Alright, who are you and what have you done with my friend?!?”
“And you thought that you were crazy.”
“I did?”
“That… Cullenism… thing just pushed me over to the edge. I… realize, now, that life is not played out on the physical plain… We live on the digital ones!”
“Where did that come from? And when did you get your brains scrambled?”
“About a minute ago, actually.”
“Hey – hey! Where are you going? Now – wait, take off the jacket… Turn away from the abyss! You can still do it!”
“No! I… I believe in Edward!”
“You… are lost to me. I’m going now to write my sensible, reasonable, prophecy of doom.”
“Goodbye… Infidel.”
“… Prophet, if you don’t mind.”
“Of Alice?”
“Of World War Three!”
“Oh. Then, goodbye, World War Three infidel.”
“Argh! Tell me when the aliens de-scramble your brains, alright?”
“Alright! I’m off to Times Square!”
“Bye. … Urgh. Some people these days… I mean, honestly, Cullenism? And Leather jackets? Sarah Palin? Twilight, I’ll give them… infidel indeed, World War Three, M*A*S*H, Alan Alda, J.K Rowling, J.R.R Tolkin, Republican, democrat... Humph!"
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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141,399 Literary Works • 674,387 Reviews
Wow!! That's so weird!! And sorta creepy...especially since I don't like Twilight that much... *Shudders*
I can't believe it that it's pretty much existant though!
This is one of those things that made me wanna shout "LOL LOL LOL" out loud... (yeah...I do that sometimes, especially when I'm around people who find it irritating)
) thing!
I really like the "Cullinism" (sorry if I misspelled that
It made me laugh!!
*Clicks Submit and then Like*
No, I didn't read those, but they sound pretty interesting... maybe I should check them out, hmm?
Anyway, glad you liked.
And, if this isn't as funny as you expected, know that this is my first attempt at writing something comical.
Heya - I've written weird-as comical pieces like this before, with just the dialogue and nothing else, so I knew I'd be in for a laugh. However, it wasn't as funny as I was expecting it to be - and this was possibly because the topic was rather...cliche, in the way you used Twilight and World War 3. Have you read 'Tomorrow, When the War Began'? Because that's a whole saga of books that are based around a hypothetical world war III - and many people have heard of them, which is why the 'Prophet of Doom' idea didn't sound as original.
But overall, I enjoyed it, and did, actually, find it easy enough to follow, so well done!
I'm glad that you liked it.
I never meant it to be a 'serious' piece. It's just a... kind of essay into script writing. And, I did warn you that many parts would not make any sense whatsoever.
*Liked
This made me laugh, it was really funny...in a random, crazy sort of way. I never thought anyone could merge WWIII, "Cullenism" (haha wow...) and Sarah Palin into one dialogue. Scary. I don't think this is so much a piece to be taken seriously ever as a piece of writing per se, but it's definately entertaining.
right...
Well, it is funny, though a bit far-fetched, if i do say so myself. You're a great script writer, though!
So...I don't really get what happens at the end, because the voices are so fast-flowing, like i'm watching some sort of 30-second skit or something.
But other than what I don't understand, good script!
Berry