Young Writers Society

Hi. this is kman134. i'm here to review your work.

you have painted a very serene of the landscape. your emphasis on nature was very peaceful and transparent. it was like watching a Hayao Miyazaki movie. my favorite one that reminded me of this was Princess Mononoke and the Wind Rises. the emotional tone and symbolisms within was very imaginative and very joyful to read.

"God is with you throughout the years."

this part was a brilliant way to end the poem. it emphasized the use of faith within the story as it is used as a coping mechanism that every parent uses when a catastrophe like an earthquake or a hurricane sweeps the land.

i really love this poem. keep writing and i'll wait for your next story.

Hey there! I just wanted to let you know that I love this poem it's beautiful! I think you could change around a few words to help it rhyme a bit more and to keep the flow. I also found the format interesting but it complemented your piece very nicely. The imagery is my favorite part, I could see the power of the wind and it really brings in the readers.

Hi I love this poem while I do love dark poetry, once and a while it is nice to hear a poem about nature. This poem I belive will bring joy to anybody that hears it.
I do agree with PrincessInk your main issue is the awkwardness when you cannot find the right word to make the poem rhyme. there were some things in certain sentences like

Up and down it twisted, danced, and twirled

If you took out dance this sentence would be more beautiful and not be so bulky. And

It died down when by the trees it passed

In this sentence you sacrificed sentence structure for Rhyming. Try choosing as instead so that the sentence flows.

Keep Writing!!!

Hey there! Shey here for a review!

You really have a knack for poetry, especially the rhythm. The rhythm was extremely well thought out, and I don't think I've read something with such perfect rhythm in a long while.

As for comments... I don't really have much negativity to comment on. For the most part, this was perfect. As I said before, rhythm was great. I will suggest using stanzas, but that's primarily because I'm a sucker for stanzas.

The rhyme scheme was okay. The problem is that it doesn't always work. Your rhymes were good in the sense that you didn't reach for some rhyming word that doesn't make sense in the context. However, I didn't feel like the rhyme was always apparent, so when it was, it seemed out of place.

Overall, great poem! I look forward to seeing more future works from you! Keep writing (that's my usual ending to a review, but it works so well when reviewing your works )!

-Shey

Hi Keepwriting, Knight Ink is here for a quick review!

It was kind of a lovely poem about the wind that brings hope. I love these types of poems that talk about nature; the ones that aren't too dark. The ending was nice as well. I'm imagining it brought hope into people's hearts.

The main issue: the rhythm and sentence structure are sacrificed for the rhyming. I see awkward spots here that need a touch more work. I'll be pointing some out:

It died down when by the trees it passed

It died down when it passed the trees

So by all the family it was always heard.

So it was always heard by all the family.

Up and down it twisted, danced, and twirled.

This review courtesy of

This is a very beautiful poem. I really like the rhyming pattern because it gives the poem a nice flow. As well as this, I really love the language you used; it really makes the poem come alive! Although, you could have taken out some of the full stops to give an implicit message that the wind keeps on moving without end, but added a few more by the part about the sleeping bird, making it feel like it had to slow down a bit to not wake the bird. Overall, this is a brilliant piece of poetry.