Young Writers Society

Heya, Kazeybear! Casanova here for a review!
So, I've changed up my reviewing style just a bit. First I give you the good, and then I give you the bad(if there's any) and then I conclude! So, let's get to the review!
Anyway- the good. Like some of your other works I've seen- this is well thought out. I love the imagery and the wording. You take what you see, your image, put it in words, and place it in a format that WE as the readers envision. Breathtaking, yes. Amazing. Thank you for that- you really are a wonderful writer.
Before I get to the bad, I would like to point out some lines that I REALLY enjoyed.
"One day, we will die.

it is almost a certified fact.

no one will remember us.

Our memory will not live on."
For some reason these lines just connected with me.. For some reason I could read this as a suspense poem- but I also read it as a romance poem. What is the meaning? What's IT'S meaning- the thing we're supposed to gather from the poem itself?
The next thing I have to say is this- Capitalization. The first word of every sentence. Then again, I guess this could be included as style preferences and there's mine.
The other thing I have to say about this is this- in each stanza you have four lines. Until the last- it only has one line. This bugs me for a few reasons- the most being that I'm really OCD and it's far from even,and another being it seems to cut the flow off.
Ah, flow, my next point.
I'll only make one example of this. When writing poetry, you should count syllables. Too keep it even and flowing correctly. The lines,
"We will be alive,

but only in hearts and minds, not flesh.

Perhaps we will know what happens.

Perhaps we will not."
Don't properly show this- for the flow seems to differ within each line.
Anyway- good poem. I'll see if I can find more from you that I haven't already read.
Keep on doing what you're doing, and keep on keeping on.
Sincerely- Matthew Casanova Aaron.

Hello, Godly here for a review and happy review day!


This is amazing! The message is deep and makes the reader think. By doing this you bring your point across well and it impacts the reader in a memorable and thoughtful way. I love the merciless attitude of the piece as you bring reality and smash it in the reader's face. The descriptions are beautiful and imaginative creating a world that one is able to explore as they travel through each stanza. By opening up my imagination you made the piece enjoyable and more impactful and I absolutely love it for that. The poem looks like it has a format at first but I found that it was in free verse which I was not expecting. Whilst it does follow a line number pattern that's all there is and it's broken anyway at the end. This creates a message that not everything is what it seems and this way helps the idea that time creeps up on you at the most unexpected of times. Time seems to be a pressing issue as it skips among many poems. I also really like the ending how it links to the title and leaves the poem on an open note leaving the writer to think about it in their own time.

Overall this is an amazing piece and I look forward to seeing more works from you in the future.
All the best,
Godly

I connected with this profoundly. Beautiful peace and a wonderful depiction of a dispirited life. Well done!

Keep writing