Young Writers Society

The late September evening was calm, and there was an unmistakable chill in the air. Autumn had most definitely set in. The year had gone so fast, soon enough it would be Christmas. The air wasn’t the only element that was cold, I swear the blood in my veins had converted to liquid ice. A shiver had ran down my spine as I remembered the somewhat desperate voice of Killian getting through to me. Almost demanding I meet him. How could I say no? I’d been there for him so much lately, it would have been wrong to turn him down. And I wanted to see him. Longed to see him.

I met him halfway between the route from his to my house. He looked completely bewildered. “What’s wrong?” I inquired, even he must have sensed the concern that was wrapped up in my voice.

“I need to sit down,” his voice was stumbling. “Shall we go to the pond?”

“Sure.” I agreed.

The walk to the local pond was a short and quiet one. The only thing that could be heard was our footsteps treading on the ground, that and the yelps of younger teenagers that passed us by. I needed to know what was wrong with Killian, I couldn’t help but care. I wanted to help so desperately.

We both sank onto the harsh wooden bench. Again the question crept to my lips “What’s wrong? Tell me, please. I want to help.”

Killian looked as though he was searching through his mind for the words. “Nadine.”

I provoked him to be more detailed with his answer. “What about her?”

“She said she almost tried to kill herself last night.”

“Bullshit.” The word has escaped from my mouth before I even realized what I was thinking. But it was. This theory was utter bullshit. I could tell. I knew who Nadine was. I knew her tricks. I got a brief look of surprise from Killian, before carrying on. “Sorry. What were her reasons?”

“She took something I said the completely wrong way.” Killian looked guilty. I rested a hesitant hand upon his shoulder. What more could I do to comfort him? I felt a pang , all I wanted to do was hold him, tell him not to worry.

“It’s not your fault. She’s the one who twisted what you said…what exactly did you say?”

Killian drew in a ragged breath, it appeared as though he was going to break down, but he still spoke the words he wanted to say. “I said…” He paused, as if trying to remember exactly what he had said. “Well, lately, you and me have been spending more time together than me and Nadine. She’s my girlfriend. I’m supposed to see her. But she never wants to be out with me. There’s always an excuse.”

“Is that what you said?”

“No. I said that it seemed that you cared more about me than she did. And she took it as though I had said that you did actually care more about me than she did.”

But I do… I made sure not to say these words aloud.

“Well, instead of saying she’s going to kill herself she should have tried to be a better girlfriend.” I could tell my tone was bitter, but at that moment, I didn’t particularly care. Killian knew how much I liked him, and he also probably knew my last sentence was right.

“I don’t know if I can be with her anymore. Knowing what I could have caused…I just don’t want to hurt her like that.”

I wanted to shake him, scream at him, get it through to him that this was not his fault that Nadine was an attention seeker. He deserved better. Anyone but her. Then I could feel it. The tear pricked the back of my eye. Stop it. Now. This won’t make it any better.

“Are you crying?” it was Killian’s turn to be concerned now.

“No.” I wiped at my eye with my sleeve. “There’s something in my eye.” What a poor excuse. I realized how stupid I must have seemed. Great. Obviously the dull glow from the street lamp was brighter than I had originally thought. “I’m fine. Carry on.” I sat leaning forward, my hands rested on my knees, listening intently.

“I told her I’d give her time to decide what she wants. She’s got to think about if she wants me to be around or not anymore.” Killian gave me a sideways glance. And then I saw it. His eyes were watering as well. This was too much for me. My lip began to tremble and the tears wouldn’t stop. They coursed down my face and dropped. I must have looked so childish. “You don’t deserve this! I don’t want to see you get hurt!” My voice was stronger than how I physically felt.

It was then that it happened. Killian moved that bit closer and enveloped me in a deep embrace. I felt safe. I felt secure. And I sure as hell wanted him to feel that too.