Published August 3, 2010
concentrate on ripples
never let them fade
keep them growing yonder
where stillness had once laid.
see them getting stronger
a growing entity
with each new passing droplet
their will become more free.
until that outer rim
it never seems to end
a force backed by the gods
all cracks and lines it mends.
now concentrate on ripples
that never seem to fade
until they just stop growing
and once more stillness lays.
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141,614 Literary Works • 675,162 Reviews
Hey there! Nice poem you have here! I was very nicely executed. Now usually people would comment about the capitalization and punctuation and all that jazz, but me being a person who doesn't care much to the grammatical rules(When writing poetry) am going to say nothing of it, other than what I just said.... Haha any who, I really liked this poem! Keep up the good work XD, hope to read more of your stuff! If you ever want me to review anything else, just tell me on my wall, or PM me =) K bye.
hey nice work girl!!
i really liked this line epically
"concentrate on ripples
never let them fade
keep them growing yonder
where stillness had once laid"
very nice.
it flows so well, like ripples themselves.
This is very well done. It has a good beat, an interesting story behind it, nice rhyming, all that. There is one problem that I discovered with it, however, which is this:
In this red area, I think you mean, A force backed by the gods. That's all. Keep writing!