Published May 29, 2010
Sweeter than the softest melody,
More beautiful than the Moon,
Warmer than the rising Sun.
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Canary word: Present
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141,378 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
Hi,
The first and last lines were really lovely.
I'd change "the moon" to something more unusual/descriptive.
I think that it would be interesting to expand on this.
Hope this helps,
Jas
thankyou ladyworkz! i'm glad you liked it; that was actually my goal, haha. i wrote it basically to describe the emotion of happiness in the hopes of spreading that warm feeling to other people
This poem is sweet and bubbly. It reads innocently and can make you feel like a young child. What is funny is that you never say what it is that's so sweet and warm. It seems to be describing a child. Or perhaps describing childhood. For some reason i feel compelled to like this poem very much. Excellent Work!!!