Now the crap bounced off the fan and hit the wall, an exciting turn of events.
No, but Andrew here with a review. Overall, exciting but once again I want more stuff (thoughts, description, ect) around the talking. INTO SPECIFICS
“It's a heat shield,” announced Harry, jumping up and down with excitement,” I knew it. It’s definitely a starfighter. It has to be.”
“Jeez, calm down, it’s not like you’re going to be getting a prize for guessing the craft correctly,” remarked Aria.
Such a sibling exchange.
“A hug,” replied Daisy, winking.
That's not even that flirty XD, I think something more vague like "We'll just have to see." *wink* would be more flirty.
I mean but I'm no expert, just a guy who has tried to flirt a lot and failed even more.
“OH. MY. GOD!” shouted Aria,” can you two go a few hours without flirting?”
Aria reacts more to the flirting than the crashing space ship XD.
“We are not flirting,” snapped Harry and Daisy in unison, causing them both to break out into laughter.
The unison thing is reaching absurd levels XD.
Daisy smiled back. That smile. Wait a minute Daisy. Big fireball. Possible death. Smiles later.
Mood
“Yup,” said Aria, looking around for anything to cover behind. “We should probably prepare to run inside just in case it crashes into here. We don’t want to risk getting turned into pancakes.”
They are all taking this situation pretty lightly.
"You know what happened the McMillans."
Grammar here weird
There was an almighty “KA – BOOM!” from beyond the wall, and the sounds of an explosion followed by the sound of tearing metal. Daisy closed her eyes and looked away as an small shockwave followed by an intense heat spread through the area.
Clunky
But that's all just my two cents
Liked the chapter, suuuper exciting!
Thanks, and keep writing
Andrew
Points: 34
Reviews: 178
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