Hey Harry!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
This was a really good continuation of the story. I like how you took your time with getting back into the action in this chapter by slwly building up till the main point. The first two parts were rather laid back and I am glad because it served as great introductory parts to this new setting. If you had at once jumped into the action, we wouldn't have the chance to get adjusted to the place before we were surrying off with our characters trying to escape the latest danger.
This part does not have any dialogue and yet the details you included gave us a litter broader idea of what's going on. I absolutely loved the way you built up the tension slowly and steadily until it reached its breaking point at the with the cliffhanger. Daisy's emotion were rightfully portrayed and I could feel the anticipation in the air. You have created a very tense environment here and even the slight rush of wind is enough to make us jump high right now.
The ending was really great. It was like I could feel something was coming, but I could not anticipate how it was going to come. Made it all the more exciting when it did come. I liked the fact that so much took place without any dialogue in this part. It almost feels natural though and I did not really feel the need to hear their inputs in this part (I am saying this because I am aware of how often I complain for more dialogue).
We are at the extreme tipping point now and it is glaringly obvious that our team is now very screwed. It will be interesting to see how they get out of this one.
Keep writing and have a great day.
Until next time!
Points: 82352
Reviews: 659
Donate