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Young Writers Society


16+ Violence

Survival: The Escape, Chapter 17.1

by KateHardy


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

Chapter 17

They Still Have Those??

[Harry]

Harry punched the air and did his best to resist the urge to yell out a loud “YUP”. The previously blocked off metal doorway was now riddled with bullet holes and hanging open. Another escape route. Hoping that the others weren’t too far behind, he ran for the doors, sliding to a stop in front of them to wait for the others to catch up to him. Aria slid to a stop in front of him, followed closely by Daisy.

“You’re insane but it worked,” said Aria, as Kate and Ryan also arrived.

“That’s all we need,” said Harry, “now be ready to run. The moment I push these doors open, they’re going to come right towards all the clanging sounds. Aria, give me a hand.”

The two siblings gave the doors a good shove and the large steel doors crashed to the ground, sending a slight tremor through the whole room. Loud shrieks filled the air from the Carpathians that were still alive. They were charging towards them and they were very, very angry.

Aria took the lead, running forwards until she finally bumped into something, causing them to all come to a little pileup there. Harry felt around. It was some kind of metal shelf.

“What on Earth is this place?” asked Daisy.

“If I am not imagining things, this has to be one of the old storage rooms, and not just any kind of storage room,” said Kate.

“What do you mean?” asked Daisy. It was hard to make her expression out in the darkness of this particular room. The little bit of light that came from the previous one was not doing much to provide light here.

Kate grabbed something off the shelf and inspected it. “If I am not mistaken, this is a weapons storage room.”

“Oh gosh, if only they were usable ones. It would be perfect,” said Harry.

“This one looks pretty usable to me,” said Kate, flicking a switch on the weapon she was holding. “If I am not mistaken, this is an ALR – 16, this might just be an old shipment.”

“The last rifle used by the human military?” asked Harry.

“Exactly,” said Kate, “The final incarnation before the eventual surrender. I believe almost none of these ever saw battle.”

“Do you know how to use one?” asked Aria, suddenly. Harry took a stop back as he realized the implications of a decision like that. It would make everything very different if there was something they could hit back with. Harry had certainly looked up the controls for one of these back in the museum and he immediately volunteered.

“Of course I do,” said Harry, feeling along the shelf till his hand hit something hard and metal. He grabbed the gun off the shelf, and pointed it towards the direction they had come in. “It something like...” Harry felt around for the charging handle that should be somewhere on the come. Coming up against a slightly rubberized part, Harry assumed that was it and gave it a good crank.

With a sudden whirr, the gun roared to life, lights along the barrel flickering to life. Harry looked towards the others, their faces now illuminated in the dim light from the gun. Far away, Harry could also now see that the Carpathians were attempting some kind of sneak attack. 

This was his chance to do something. Not stopping to think, Harry braced the gun against his shoulder and aimed it as best as he could. Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, he squeezed the trigger.

A bright red beam of light shot out of the gun, heading for whatever was in front of them. There was a loud shriek and the sound of roasting Carpathian. An acrid smell spread through the room. Harry exchanged a look with the rest of them. He couldn’t make out their faces in the blackness but he imagined they were probably equal parts amazed and horrified like he was.

“Run?” he asked.

“Grab a gun and run,” said Aria,"How many of you know how to use one? I don't unfortunately.”

"I don't," said Daisy, sounding rather dejected.

"I definitely can," said Ryan, quickly grabbing the nearest one. Kate gave a nod and picked one up herself.

"Well Daisy, you should also grab one, the intimidation factor alone is still worth it," said Aria, "come on. Things are maybe switching in our favor." 

There was a few clanging sounds as two more weapons were pulled out of the shelves.

“Alright, follow me, and stay quiet,” said Aria, “don't charge the guns unless you have to. They know we’re armed and dangerous and they’ve just lost three of their number. If they get even a tiny hint about where we are, they’re going to shoot. We just have to keep moving now. Things are escalating quickly.”

Harry nodded. He'd just killed one of the aliens that had worked so hard to keep them locked up and deprived of so many things. Yet he didn't exactly feel good. He didn't know what to feel at the moment and he did the only thing that he could do. He pushed those feelings to the very back of his mind and focused on surviving the night.


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Sat Nov 13, 2021 9:45 am
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

It's a very good start to the new chapter without inserting much filler and builds on what we've already seen. The constant that I like here, apart from Aria continuing to have a bit of a dominant upper hand, is that Kate is now showing a bit more of what she's made of.

The flow of the story is very good here and I especially like the pace, which sets the tone for the whole chapter.

I felt even in the rush of the story here that everything was well structured and it didn't feel to me like you were skipping things or dragging moments down too much. However, it also seemed to me that the characters were a bit flatter here than before. In the previous chapter you got more of what they were feeling and how they felt about things, and I couldn't see that as clearly here, which made it feel like - especially Harry and Daisy - had become fearless knights. :D I think a brief note or even just a tone of despair, or fear, or worry in the dialogue would do well to build up the scene more realistically.

One other point I noticed while reading:

The previously blocked off metal doorway was now riddled with bullet holes and hanging open. Another escape route.

This is somehow very satisfying, reading the first paragraph and seeing how the sentence structure balances out between the longer and shorter sentence. I think as opposed to a thought commentary, it's very appropriate here, especially because we have Harry's POV again.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D



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Mon Nov 08, 2021 4:59 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Well. Hope. I see a great deal of hope in humanity's side in this chapter. I did see this hope coming but in an unexpected way. A lot of bombs keep fropping throughout all these chapters.

I did expect them to find some useful things from the storage rooms but never thought of the weapons. First of all, it clarifies why the area was forbidden. I don't think the aliens use those weapons... So, the question is why they just didn't destroy the weapons? Like who keeps things existent that can herm themself? Perhaps they were a bit too careless and overconfident. We have seen thid sort of nature from them before. So, it can't totally be ignored. Anyway, I am actually hoping for some alien weapons now but I don't think they will get it. Anyway, their weapons can actually be enough to fight if they have their brains in their places. After all the aliens won the last battle with the help of their brains. I do guess that the human population is much more than the alien population.

Wow. They even know how to use guns! I just don't know but these things can be a bit clarified about how they learnt all these skills. Like the humans don't really have a gun at the present moment, right? If so, how they got to learn about how to use them? Feom ancient books or maybe from people? I am in need of some clarifications. Anyway, as the three of them know how to use a gun, I do gurss that a majority of the population knows the same. Good news, indeed.

Hm... So Harry top has a similar feeling like Aria and Daisy. That's good or maybe bad. I do not know. However, I do wish that it proves to be something positive in their side. Sooo a battle is going to happen. I do get some good and kind of clear foreshadowing. Let's see.

Keep Writing!

~Forever




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Ohh they learn it from older manuals and such. All five of them don't know how to use it because they don't all remember, but Harry of course paid attention and so did a couple of others. :D



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Sun Nov 07, 2021 8:27 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

For the first time, we get a little glimpse of a silver lining in the middle of all this darkness. Even holding a weapon, or at least something that you know you can fight back with, adds a whole lot of confidence on your side. Even if the majority of them have no idea how to use a gun, the knowledge that they have the option to use one should the situation come to that changes a lot of things. First, like Harry said, it will make the Carpathians a little more awry of them. They had never expected that the humans had it in them to actually kill one of their numbers and now they have already lost three of their kind. They clearly have no idea what they are dealing with and this uncertainty is a really great advantage to use.

I did wonder how they managed to get away from the room with all the crates. They seemed to have been cornered and outnumbered in the previous chapter, so I was a bit surprised with how you started this new chapter. It felt like there is a missing scene there that we did not get to see. I also liked the way Harry's distinct tone of narration fit with the current plot of the story. Harry sees the world with a lot of hope and enthusiasm and right now, I feel like we all needed some of that.

I also liked the way you executed this chapter. You moved the plot forward significantly while also processing their thoughts and feelings about it all. A lot has happened since they first took off for their mission, but this is the first time that we have actually stopped to hear our characters and what they have been going through since the beginning of the night. Even now, we don't actually delve deep into it, because like Harry said, its not the time for that. But simply acknowledging it adds a more deeper nd contemplative edge to all these exciting action scenes. For me, this is exactly what had been missing in the previous chapter.

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D




The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
— Martin Luther King, Jr.