Young Writers Society

Hey! Forever here with a review!!

This was a very action packed part and Aria is doing all these things as a true leader. I like her spirit of fighting with the aliens and not sacrificing. Okay the first paragraph was interesting in the sense that we do get a hint of Mrs. Kane's past. We don't really know what incident Aria is referring to but hm... Something interesting. I am a bit curious to know what really happened in the previous escape trial and also who the leaders were back then. Was Mrs. Kane a part of it?

I wonder what Kate was doing with the calculator and of what use it was to her. What calculation does she exactly do? Anyway, hm... Seems like she hasn't got enough nerve. Well, it's not very right to judge someone without knowing the whole thing but I think so. I assume she knows a lot more about aliens than the others present there. Thus she know more about their powers too. That could be a reason of her terror.

Another thing, why did Aria adk Ryan about his aim. I mean she could just ask if anyone has a good aim. At least in this situation no one would hesitate to say if they had good aims. No time to self-sabotage. But hm... Maybe Aria thought he would be able to throw it better because of his figure. Quick thought.

Danger id definitely knocking on the door. If that is indeed a barrel of a gun, Harry has got some serious cuts and still he is saying tiny cuts. However, it's also true that they don't have time to worry about the cut because if they do, they will be caught and totally fired or killed. Well now the whole aliens species living in that place knows about them and the escape. That's indeed a red flag. If I am not wrong, they will not be able to escape, at least not through the doors. The aliens will highly guard them. And also I do wonder about the humans. I reckon they know about the whole thing too. The team didn't really manage to convince the aliens that the escape was totally planned by them. So, the whole human race is kind of in fatal danger. Only if someone could do something with the lights... Let's see what happens next.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever

Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

This was an exciting and action-packed continuation of the story. I suppose things had turned pretty worse in the previous part, but I did not really understand the exact definition of 'worse' until this part. From what I understood with the ending, the aliens had notified everyone of the escape attempt and there is no doubt that the alien armies or whatever it is that they call themselves will now be assembling to get them. And considering that they are now running towards the Hub, I don't really see how they are going to escape this time. But for the sake of the characters we have grown to love over the 15 chapters, I hope they figure out something.

Aria seems to have really stepped into her role as the leader. She is quick on her feet and instead of panicking and freaking out, she thinks logically to come up with a way out of the situation. I could feel her panic, but I could also see how masterly she reigned it in and did what needed to be done in that moment - get them out of there. I was really impressed with her decision making, especially considering that she has no experience and is just a teenager herself. They made a very wise choice in appointing her as the leader.

The idea of using a distraction to run was actually very brilliant. We have seen earlier that the aliens are a little weak in their senses/ They have weapons that can vaporize you and they have the brains to plot and plan, but when it comes to their senses or their physical capabilities, they fall behind the humans. Otherwise, Harry Daisy and Aria would never have been able to escape from them the first time they ran into the aliens. So hopefully, their luck will work this time too, and the distraction caused by the calculator was enough to earn them a safe distance from the aliens. Speaking of calculators, why and how exactly did Kate have a calculator in her pocket? How many things can she fit in there?

Considering that the aliens have now sounded their alarm system, I think it will wake up the entire camp to what is going on. It also makes me wonder how the aliens realized they were trying to escape and if this question is ever going to be addressed. Their parents probably know by now that something went very wrong - what are they thinking? And also, how exactly did Ryan get his hands on the barrel of a gun? Didn't the aliens carry some sort of plasma guns? If it was that, I do think that Harry would not just sport a gash on his arm. It seems like a lot had happened in between that moment when Aria decided not to turn her head back. Its like a rollercoaster of events and suspense, and honestly, I am enjoying every second of it.

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!

Hi Harry,

Mailice back again with a short review!

We achieve a good continuation of the plot here. Aria continues to be a strong fighter. Positives here are how you've kept this kind of dramatic action scene in a very good tone and that the structure has been maintained, although we're a bit more in a fast pace here where a lot of things happen in a short space of time.

You've proved here that we're at a critical juncture and not to expect what can be expected. In contrast to the previous chapter, here is indeed the practice of which I have written.

A highlight in this chapter so far is how Aria presents herself as a good leader, a thing I didn't expect from her so directly. It reinforces my belief that she may one day become like her mother. I also liked the beginning, how you portrayed that well, not playing on "I am the main character" but on "I am X's daughter". That has more impact on the characters than the typical main character problem.

So far it's a very strong chapter, moving in a good and exciting direction. We've even reached the first injury now and now I'm standing there wondering where else we're going to go.

One other point I noticed while reading:

Kate produced a calculator from one of her pockets and presented it to Aria.