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Young Writers Society


12+

Survival: The Escape, Chapter 11.1

by KateHardy


Chapter 11

A Choosing Ceremony

[Harry]

Harry had to restrain himself from jumping up and yelling ’I'm in!' like his brain was telling him to. This is going to be the greatest moment in my life until of course someone actually makes a successful escape. Harry saw an ancient cardboard box being put on the stage. They must have raided all the ancient human technology they could find. Where on Earth was a cardboard box even stored in this place?

"So the names of everyone that volunteered has been written on pieces of paper and put into this box," began Mrs. Kane, “We've divided it depending on the skills, well kind of, its not so much skills as general sort of ability and temperament. The categories are going to be only the very broad ones now that we've decided to go with just a party of five. I don’t think I have to remind you that by doing this it will be a totally random pick and there will be no outside factors influencing this but I'll do it just in case any wants protest about that. There should be no ambiguity whatsover here. If there are no objections, I'm continuing.”

Harry was at the edge of his seat as a silence fell over the room. A few seconds later, his mother gave a nod and moved to the box. Please be me. Please be me. He watched with bated breath as Mrs. Kane opened up the first slip of paper and read out the name.

"Kathryn Summers"

Harry couldn't help but let out a disappointed sigh before he joined in the round of applause that had started. He tried to dredge up anything that he could remember about the girl. She was one of the best in the technical aspects of things and worked in someplace near the plumbing department. She worked with Samantha I think. But was she better or worse? Why have I forgotten this now?

His train of thought was interrupted by Mrs. Kane calling out to Kathryn.

"Ms. Summers if you can come here please. You're the one chosen from those that had some experience with technology. That's going to be vital especially with the sort of weakness that we’re planning on exploiting. So if you would like to back out now, no one would hold it against you? If not, come up on stage."

The girl in question walked onto the stage. She was around Daisy's height, much shorter than Mrs. Kane, only coming up to about her shoulder. Her shoulder length black hair hung loose around her face like she'd just woken up to rush to the meeting. She was doing her best to smile, her brown eyes wide with surprise.

Mrs. Kane waved her over to her and asked her several quick questions turning away from the microphone. After she had given the girl a two-minute interrogation she sent Kathryn off to sit down in a row that had been set up surrounding the stage.

After Kathryn settled down, Mrs. Kane reached into the box again. Harry once again couldn't stop himself from wishing that he was going to be the next one chosen.

The mantra in his head was back as Mrs. Kane started to read out the second name that had been picked.

"Ryan Haynes"

At this one Harry had to scratch his head in confusion. Why have I not heard that name before? Harry racked his brains to see if he could remember anything about him from class but found that he could not. Must be someone who flew under the radar then...or didn't attend at all. Having been unsuccessful in getting information out of his brain Harry settled down to watch what his mom had to announce about Ryan.

"So this is kind of a broad category after this for the other three members. We just need one person that's good with tech and one leader, the others can be just about anyone that's competent in general things. Ryan here is one of them. He's done fairly well in most of the subjects and is certainly qualified for selection. This is from over two hundred possible choices so it's also surprising to see two of the same age being chosen but I suppose most of those that qualified were in a fairly small age range because of well...I believe no elaboration would be required there."

On that slightly somber note, she ended her announcement for Ryan as the boy walked up from the crowd. He was one of the largest teenagers that Harry had ever seen. He resembled an actual exoskeleton in size and build, towering over everyone on stage. That was quite an achievement considering Mr. Summers was definitely over six feet. This guy had to be over seven feet at least and was built like a tank. He might even have trouble squeezing through the gate.

Well no surprises about no one worrying about him getting chosen. That man looks like he can take out an alien bare handed. Harry joined in the clapping to acknowledge the slight bow the boy gave them all before stepping back down to sit down next to where Kathryn was sitting. By this point, someone in the crowd had already re-arranged the chairs down there so that now there were five seats in a separate row right next to the stage.


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178 Reviews


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Fri Feb 04, 2022 8:56 pm
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MaybeAndrew wrote a review...



Andrew here for a liiiiigggghhhhhtning fast review. Hmmmm, was thinking, not trying to edit your book for you here at all, but there is a *lot* and I mean a lot of buildup here to the actual escape, which I think is reasonable, you need to prepare a lot before we can actually let the action go wild.
But, because of this, the beginning of this book is not super exciting. This isn't exactly a problem, not all books need to be exciting.
But I just read Project Hail Mary (an amazing book, right up your ally) and I really found interesting what Weir did, switching back in forth between the present (the action) and past (the prep) it had a really cool effect on tension and excitement, but also seeing our character in more 'normal' situations.
IDK, but it would be cool to do something like that with this story.
Totally not my job, nor do I actually know the future of the plot so who knows if it could work.
Just tossing ideas out there.

but I suppose most of those that qualified were in a fairly small age range because of well...I believe no elaboration would be required there.

WAIT
did I miss something,
did all the adults die?
Why the small age range?
Cool mystoury
Anyway that's just my two cents,
Thanks, and keep writing,
Andrew




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!



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Sun Oct 10, 2021 12:54 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

You make a very good start to the new chapter here and I was very surprised and pleased that we can read Harry's POV for the meeting. This is definitely one of my favourite starts to a chapter of yours. You start a bit like the last one, where you briefly show Harry's thoughts, but you can clearly read the anticipation and maybe worry you want to create. It's great that this motto can be seen throughout the rest of the part here and beyond.

I think you have already exceeded my expectations with this meeting, even though we are still at the beginning of it. The many dialogues and the active continuation of the story here create a good dynamic after it was so quiet in the last chapter and you give the impression that we are only on the first stage of the new tension. The arc builds with every new name that is mentioned and I like how we finally see more of the new characters here, so that it feels more alive and realistic.

It feels to me now as if the story is developing from the initial threesome into a larger group. That doesn't have to be the case, of course, but it gives me the feeling that there is a lot more to come. I like how you end the part and there's more tension building up. You can see that clearly, and I think in the next part you'll be able to show that again extremely well.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

This is sort of start to the introduction of a slightly larger group, this trio will be the focus for this novel, but in the sequels, it expands a little, you'll see what I mean when it gets to the end ;)



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Fri Oct 08, 2021 5:36 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!

Seeing chapters from Harry's POV is always fun. So, let's get into it. Well, we have got another Summers here. Seems like Mr. Summers will not be among the five and I am gonna guess that people with the surname Summers are good in technological things. I wonder if Kathryn has any relation with Mr. Summers. That can actually be a reason why she is good in all the technological things.

I like all the thoughts that you put in there. Despite the fact that Harry is a bit disappointed with all these happening, he still manages to think funny things and still manages not to laugh at his own thoughts. We still didn't get a clear picture of the people on the stage. You have gotta show those other people.

I am quite amused by the fact that both the people selected till now are children and well, the trio has somehow got to be selected. The story is not gonna move otherwise. I know this is called extra-guessing but still I think that is gonna happen. I am just a bit confused by the boy-man thing. Like at first, you mentioned Ryan as a boy and then as a man. Does it havw to do something with the fact that Hrry was considering his physical appearance?

Only if Ryan could actually get an alien barehanded and take the weapon from them. It would be a funny scene but that is not going to happen. I wonder what is gonna happen after they are out, I mean after the first escape if that is actually gonna take place. The aliens will get more concerned because they will be missing from their assigned tasks and if they somehow figure out that they have escaped, life will be veryy hard. You should have uploaded two parts of this chapter at once. Like it's very hard to stop here.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever






Also, you have got 8 review in such a short period of time xD



KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

xD...I get a taste of my own medicine :D

Kathryn I think is supposed to be Mr. Summers' niece if I'm remembering my own worldbuilding correctly :D

The other people will show up soon...I know I put them off for a bit too long I think :D

Oh yeah...Harry just kinda referred to him as a man cause of his appearance :D

Ahhh....if I answer that last paragraph...that will be a spoiler minefield so I won't touch that ;)

Thanks again!!



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Fri Oct 08, 2021 5:24 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks back with another review!

I was a bit thrown off by the sudden change in perspective. Usually you finish with a plot twist and then change the perspectives, but it could also have something to do with the fact that I just came from the previous chapter!

Well, this was certainly an interesting start. Harry's voice is instantly different than Aria's as he is more excited about the selection and I can almost imagine him hopping at the end of his seat every time a name is called. It is obvious why he would want to hear his name, but I am not sure if Daisy and Aria would share the same sentiment.

So we meet two new characters. I like how we get some idea of their personalities by just reading your short descriptions about them. Even if they are not the main characters you mentioned earlier, I am sure they are going to assume some major role in the story if they are onboard the rescue team. Kathryn seems smart and they are going to need someone who is handy with technology if they are going to go against the aliens. And as for Ryan, well, his sheer size is going to scare away the aliens.

Now, I appreciate that you took time to explain why most of them selected are of a smaller age group, but I still do not understand it. I think more aged people like Mr. Summers would be more experienced for this sort of a mission. They have been around for a long time, and they may not be as quick or strong but their experience and intelligence would have taken them a long way. Still, I am sure you have a reason behind all you have planned.

Now I am sure there is a reason why we stopped just before they announced the last three names. I think it tells us a lot about what those names are going to be. Still, you might just surprise us in the end, so I am not going to say anything!

That's all.

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

You might be onto something with the names ;)

Hmm...yeah, there are quite a few others that are needed on this plan behind the scenes that will get explained a bit later..so hopefully it makes more sense there, the people whose names were in the box were mostly between 14 and 20 ish years old. Yeah, this is all a bit clearer by the 13th or 14th chapter :D




"We're just all nosy little busybodies."
— SirenCymbaline the Kiwi