Just another one of my old poems...
"Save me..."
Thought I felt you brush past me today.
But when I turned around, ther was only empty space.
And I stood there staring blankly.
Into nothing.
The nothing where you should be.
And all that's left is this abyss.
Pulling me in.
Slowly.
And it's so so lonely.
Without you.
My heart is aching.
It hurts to keep breathing.
When you're not next to me.
So where are you?
Why did you leave?
When are you coming back?
To save.
Me.
Because I'm falling.
Sinking.
Into this void.
Need you to lift me.
Away from this dispair.
Never-ending.
And into your embrace.
The ghost of your touch.
Still lingers.
But is softly fading.
Away.
Like a dream.
Or a memory.
Of a melody.
And I want to remember.
Forever.
But it's slipping from reach.
Pulsing faintly.
Like a dying ember.
Or a cold heartbeat.
I can't feel it anymore.
Only the ache.
I gave you my heart.
You're the only one.
Who can stop.
The pain.
That you created.
Come back and erase it.
Heal this hurt.
You were my light.
You were my angel.
Come make things right.
I was safe in your arms.
You held me close.
We soared to the stars.
Together.
But I don't want to fall from here.
Why did your warmth disappear?
And now you're gone.
Don't leave me.
Alone.
Feeling empty.
And falling.
Thought I felt you brush past me today.
But it must have only been your memory.
Haunting me.
And the wind blowing by.
Into the empty sky.
Where you should be.
So when.
Are you coming back.
To save.
Me.
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I thought this was great. Your use of puncuation...well... punctuated the meaning of the words, if you know what I mean. I know you probably don't want to hear this (read this, if I think about it), but it really reminds me of "New Moon" in the Twilight Saga. It sort of describes what Bella felt when Edward left, a void that she filled with Jake. I can't believe I just worked a Twilight reference into a review. ANYWAY, I really like this. It perfectly sums up the feeling of lost love, the emptiness. Kudos. Great job, and I hope to read more from you in the future.
A wonderful read. You expressed yourself perfectly and I could feel that sense of longing as well. It's very moving to be really honest because everyone of us or most of us have been engulfed by this very same feeling at least once in their lifetime and thus could relate to it even if it's to the slightest degree.
All in all, a brilliant piece of writing.
WOOOOW...its sooo powerful.i read it to myself out loud and in the end i had tears in my eyes!!!i can't believe it.i love it.You're really good at writing.you must be proud of yourself. please read and comment my little story .xx