What Happened

We once were in love, you and I, its adventure unreal, intoxicating even.

Together, we didn't notice the sweat on each others' hand when we held them.

I would whisper "I love you," in your ear, and linger for a moment,

and you would say it too, sometimes, while I worshipped your scent.

I'd wrap my arms around your delicate frame, perhaps showing them off.

And when I kissed your neck, your heart would beat faster, audible.

You'd run your delicate fingers through my hair, when I'd lay in your lap.

We were each others' armor, and nothing could break us apart.

But armor is weak from within, and many things were broken.

I don't know what caused it, but I lost you, and you abandoned your trust.

I still cannot rediscover the treasure I remember in those blissful times long-fled.

I still cannot rip my eyes away, when you gracefully glide by at school.

Your beauty, none see like I do, the way your eyes communicate to me.

I know what you think from across the room where we see each other.

When pure chance brings us close to one another, I remember the nights of past.

I know you do your best to forget them, along with the memory of me.

How I was your absolute rock, always a comfort when you had nobody.

But in vain, because you could not rely on me to be there forever.

I war with myself internally, whether to reach out and seize you,

kiss you one last time, before this life is long gone from us.

Before we leave this temporary place, and life pulls us away.

Whether or not to invest in our future now, or if it is another mistake.

Then, you pass without noticing my struggle, and oblivious to my torment.

But in your wake follow tangible memories, made of beautiful knives.

They ride on your smell, I identify it immediately, my heart jolts in reaction.

Those knives, I willingly invite them to bury themselves in my chest.

Knives of the two years I spent in your shadow, stumbling with no sun,

and the two months you spent in my arms, smiling up at me.

I search for the secret I so readily possessed those months ago.

What lure I gave you to make you mine, prepared for eternity.

I have tried all but the cold embrace of death, with utter futility.

When cars pass, they know little of my temptation to leap before them,

and only few people know of the scars that lie under my shirt.

Looking back on the time we shared and the life we could have woven,

I wonder to myself each day, "what happened to us, what happened to me?"

What happened to our love, our bond, our strength, and our friendship

I come to the same undeniable conclusion that I always do... I happened to us.