“This is a poem that I had composed in my thoughts when I had realized,
My boyfriend is no longer around it is entitled is good bye hard to say."
How could you?
How could you turn your back on me,
Is good bye too hard to say?
I haven't done anything wrong
All I have done is love and care for you.
So please tell me,
What did I do to deserve this type of treatment?
Even when there was another girl in your life
I stood by your side.
When you cried,
I cried!
When you were happy,
I was happy.
Now that I am sad,
I wonder if you are sad too.
It really makes me ponder, why.
Why you left?
No good bye, no satisfying statement of the reason why!
Last night I went to bed, crying my self to sleep.
This morning the thought of suicide raced in my mind
Like a sheep in the fields.
You have torn my heart apart,
And starting over is a really enormous task
So this breath is my last. ![]()
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Canary word: Present
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Hey there Diva! June here again!
. They kind of take away from what you can give us in your writing, dear-- by using them, you're implying the feeling in a picture instead of letting us feel the emotion for ourselves.
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Aww *hugs* Such a sad poem, dear. Let's get to work.
Okay, generally, it's not liked for you to use smilies in your writing, dear. I know they make everything more cheerful and fun, but it's sort of a distraction. Most of the time when I see a smiley, I'm all excited, and I focus on the smiley instead of what's around it
So, to speak, avoid using them in your literature, dear.
Let's see
I've added a question mark to the first line, and stuck "on" in the second line.
• I put an arrow on the third line, because I believe you meant, "Is goodbye too hard to say?
Moving on
I'm not trying to sound mean or anything, but unless you give us something in this poem that doesn't sound banal, we're not really going to stay interested in this. Originality is the key.
See, we've heard poems about breakups and revenge and all of the ill feelings that follow before, so if you come along and give us another one of those poems, it's boring for us.
However! If you define your feelings, and be original in your writing style, we will care. It's all about how you write something that will hold your audience's interest, dear.
As for this, let your creative side run wild, girl! Be poetic! Be original! Don't be afraid to bend the rules of grammar so that it sounds like the poetry you've read.
Give us something new, dear. Because we know you can.
But, needless to say, you did a good job, dear. Keep it up! Your writing is good, dear.
June