Published April 21, 2009
This is an excerpt from a project I dip into once in a little while. It's a history written by a character who is the son of a survivor of a zombie plague outbreak. In basic principle, it's your straightforward zombie apocalypse story, although the 'author' goes so far as to use sources and interviews to understand how it happened. Bit of a twist on the usual formula, tell me what you think.
Yes, it's an attachment. Word 2007, say sorry.
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This is pretty much a copy of World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War, a famous award winning novel by Max Brooks, soon to be a feature film. Are you aware of this book? If not, read it - this has been done.
*claps hands together in shock* Wow... I am actually VERY surprised how much I enjoyed that. I don't mean it in a rude way, but I read the whole thing and like it a lot! Your grammar was impeccable, you had great word choice... I am simply in awe. It was fabulous. Though I don't think this could ever be more then a short story. Its interesting and VERY well written but it won't keep most peoples attention long enough. The detached way it is written kind of leaves the reader off by himself, and there is very little emotion or feeling. You do fix that with the journal entry however, which was FABULOUS. You really brought out Kyle Lancaster's personality in that entry, in a way that surprised me and even had me chuckling. But once again this thing would be hard to turn into an actual novel or long story, because it might get dull after a while. I could see you actually writing the story from someone's view, having them live The Wave, and then throw in little excerpts of this guy's book at the end of each chapter. Get what I'm saying? Make it an actual story, and then after each chapter end it with a blurp about how it started and all from this guy's history book. Just an idea, I really liked it though. Below are a few minor things...
This just sounds off to me. I could be wrong but for some reason it doesn't flow... its the "and communicate" part that sounds off. I could be wrong since I am not even sure how to fix it or why it feels weird
Should be "quirk in the infection that the..." or something like that. It doesn't really seem to flow how you have it, just my opinion though.
I think you meant, "It radiated outward from airports..." so you have an extra from in there that needs to go
Amazing line. Had me laughing, and it really brought out his personality for me!
Another great line that made me laugh, especially the curse of expiration dates part.
Like I said I really liked it, but I think it would be hard to keep it interesting enough to turn it into a book. Its obviously not impossible, but you would have to really work to keep the readers attention during the whole thing because it could turn monotonous very fast. Just my opinion though. PM if you come out with more