Hey kanen, I loved it.I like the emotion you emitted.It really sucks being the beat friend doesn't it.I know how that feels.
I wrote this on a whim, just so that I could get my feelings out on pen and paper. It helped me a lot. This is unedited and not my best work, but tell me what you think. Note: It's a true story.
The Pain
Hey kanen, I loved it.I like the emotion you emitted.It really sucks being the beat friend doesn't it.I know how that feels.
Kanen! I love this, you really had great emotion, I love this line:
Tristan, you better love her with all your heart. It just totally made my heart melt, cause Trent wasn't interferring like some jerk wad, he wanted her to be happy, and never wanted to see her be heartbroken. Its so sweet
Aw, this touched my heart! I love reading pieces like this!
Unknown to her, unknown to anyone actually, he loved her. Yes, he loved her with all his heart. He was in love with her, and had been for two years now. If she only knew how much better his life was because of her. She could take his crappiest day and turn it into something great. When she missed school, he felt dead inside.
Hi Kanen! That situation suck, doesn't it? Anyway, I have just one nitpick:
Trent turned away quickly, before his heart broke altogether. I swear, if he ever breaks her heart, I’ll kill him, he thought. He’d seen her get hurt before. He couldn’t understand how someone could do that to her, how they could not know what they had. Tristan, you better love her with all your heart.
Kanen,
forbidden love sucks ass huh?? Lol. But best friends like you and her usually get married or something in the end, so don't give up,okayy?? She'll wake up one day and realize how good of a guy you are to her, and she'll realize it never worked out with any other guy because she always really loved. I have a friend like that.
Anyways, thus was a really good story, but it shouldve been put under nonfiction, you know, since it's a true story and all. But you get more reviews with the fictional writing I realized. Lol.
If you don't mind, cab you review one of my poems?? It's called My Big Brother. I wrote it yesterday, and it's EXACTLY like this situation you're in, except through my eyes. And it's real too.
I hope I helped and made your day!!
Love,
Layla
Hi Kanen. I have been through your other posts before and I must admit that you are a good writer. I liked the story very much and I hope you have a continuation to it. I didn't find any nit-picks as such so it was nice. Keep writing!!!!! Just this:
She was beautiful, in his eyes as well as #008040 ">in everyone else’s.
Yeah, really this was just something like a diary entry, just to get stuff of my chest. But I may develop it. I don't know. I'm kind of into my Fantasy novel right now. I just wrote this because I have major writer's block for that. Thanks for reading it.
Ahhhh, forbidden love! Hope everything works out in the end. 
As far as story goes, this seems largely unfinished! Which kind of makes sense, as it is a true story of your life. However, if you want to develop this in a story, you may want to add to it. Maybe you can make this story end the way you want to, even if it doesn't turn out that way in real life.
Also, I highly recommend the film, "Better Off Dead." I think you'll find a lot of truth in that film.
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