A Lesson on Ludicrousy
If someone at the moment told you what life's all about
Would you listen, would you cower, would shout aloud.
The truth is in perspective, as many of old might say
The perspective is all important, and what we'll learn to today.
If someone were to walk up and before continuing on their way,
Tell you what life's about, this is what they might say:
"Life is short, so do what you can"
"Life is long, so sit and rest"
"Life is fragile, so be careful"
"Life is for me so do whatever you please"
All valid points of view,
Would you agree too?
But it Depends on how you look at it,
and how you want it to be.
For life is to be described by the one who's living it to see.
If your cruel and selfish, just for you to please,
Life would be about you and thee.
If your kind and loving making the best of what you have,
Life would be about the joy of helping others that are sad
If you huddle up in your house, afraid of dieing eaten by worms,
Life would be joyless, and burden not something easy.
So what is life to you,
by how you live, and how you see
Every deed you do
Makes life more meaningful for those around you too.
~By Kammara P.M
OOC> Yes I realize Ludicrousy is not a word...I think...
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Hi!! So I have only one tiny problem with this poem and that is that some parts rhyme and some do not. I just recommend that you stick with one or the other. The parts that do rhyme flow really well by the way.
Heya, welcome to the society! I think Snoink in his all knowing piggyness, covered the nit-picks, so I'll just say one thing: Well Done. And yet another thing, I have one paragraph you could improve in.
I think this was biased. Yeah that's a funny way to say it but rather than saying if your life would be good or not (Most people can guess that huddling up in your house isn't fun) rather say what your life would be full of. Fear for one. And also, maybe raise a good point. If you raise two points, you'll get someone thinking on their own, and you can live happily ever after.
Otherwise, well done. *LIKED* PM Me with any questions.
Hey Kammara!
First of all, a couple of typos!
If your cruel and selfish, just for you to please, <-- "If you're..."
Life would be about you and thee. <-- Thee sounds weird! Why have you suddenly gone old fashioned on us?
If your kind and loving making the best of what you have, <-- "If you're..."
Life would be about the joy of helping others that are sad
If you huddle up in your house, afraid of dieing eaten by worms, <-- "dying"
Life would be joyless, and burden not something easy.
All right! Now your poem! Your poem confuses me! You say that life is all about perspective, and then you talk about people being cruel and selfish, but the two are not necessarily interchangeable! So I'm wondering why you linked the two together. And really, if life is all about perspective, then how could somebody really be cruel and selfish? In his own perspective, he is not being that way. So by the words you choose, you are contradicting yourself by using biased words.
Also, if you're kind and loving and make the best you have, you don't have to help others that are sad. Really, you don't. You can just choose to ignore them and only focus on the people that are happy. It's much easier that way.
So I don't know! If you want to make this good, make the wording less biased! It'll be much more meaningful that way.