Young Writers Society


E - Everyone Mature Content

Hope you guys like it!

by KaitlynTheSurvivor


~ Whenever people look at the world they think of a beautiful place with so much green and happiness. This is not true, In Europe and Asia we have people beheading other people because they feel that they are doing what God wants. People are getting angry at homosexual people because that’s not what they think freedom should be. People are having dreams symbolizing visions and visions symbolizing dreams about drama, fear, and anything else people add in just because this is what their conscience thinks is going to happen. People having a warm shower with the sudden fear that someone’s going to pop in and murder them in a snap. This is not how the world should be.

We shouldn’t get all dramatic if a boy breaks up with a girl, there are bigger problems.

We shouldn’t get mad if someone calls us a pathetic name because they feel even worse about themselves, there are bigger problems.

We shouldn’t have bipolar, amnesia, ebola, because everyone is dying and suffering extreme pain both mentally and physically.

We shouldn’t commit suicide, because there’s always a life worth living if you lived it to the fullest.

We shouldn’t writhe in pain mentally because everyone is dying, there’s always a bright side.

We shouldn’t pretend to be peppy and happy all the time because there’s always a dark side. And it’s obviously fake.

We shouldn’t get sexually assaulted because It’s disgusting and wrong.

Think.

The world could be better.

But then again there’s not much we can do.

But what we can do is pray.

Just pray.

It

Has

To

Change

Somehow.

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289 Reviews

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Thu Nov 27, 2014 7:51 pm
MissGangamash wrote a review...



I get what you mean but...the 'We shouldn’t writhe in pain mentally because everyone is dying, there’s always a bright side' is a bit silly. Some people have mental conditions which causes them to not be able to see a bright side, hence why a lot of mental disorders lead to suicide. It's like saying, 'why do people have anorexia? Just eat a sandwich!' It's a mental condition...it's not that easily solvable.

And 'We shouldn’t pretend to be peppy and happy all the time because there’s always a dark side. And it’s obviously fake,' is a pretty depressing way to think. Some people are just happy people. Not all happiness is fake. Actually, probably hardly any happiness is fake. It shouldn't be wrong to be happy because out there somewhere someone is dying. If everyone walked around constantly thinking about all the unjust things in the world, I'm pretty sure everyone would WANT to commit suicide. And people are dramatic about break-ups because that is a dramatic thing in their life. Sure, there are more terrible things happening in the world but non of that is effecting you personally.

This whole thing is pretty backwards...

And there're a hell of a lot more things with can do than 'pray' that it's all going to stop. At the end you are saying that religion is the answer yet at the start you are saying that religion is the cause of beheadings...

The ending would be more effective if you said that praying is NOT the answer. Taking action is. Stand up for gay rights. Support feminism. Give to charity that help third world countries.

Is this supposed to be ironic? Because I've seen that it's tagged under humour. If this is supposed to be a joke...I don't get it.




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Points: 542
Reviews: 38

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Thu Nov 27, 2014 5:12 pm
krazywriter wrote a review...



Cool. I totally agree with some of those things.

A few corrections:

"This is not true, In Europe and Asia..."

Commas don't join compound sentences. This would actually be better if it were a colon or a semicolon. : ; This goes for some later sentences, too.

Concerning what we shouldn't have, some of those are within our power, and some aren't. You can tell someone not to get all worked up over breaking up, but you can't tell someone not to have ebola. It would be nice if we could, but you're right- all we can do is pray.

Also, I'd like to know why you put this under "Humor." It did't sound humorous to me. It sounded very serious. It had a very good message, though. Good job!





"I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."
— Lewis Carroll