It’s lovely when you put on a pair of glasses and the entire world changes. Purple tinted lenses over your eyes, and everything is brighter, happier. The world seems to smile and say, “Hello, Darling. How are you today?” and you can smile back and say, “I’m quite lovely, and you’re quite lovely. Would you care to dance?” Then you dance, but only with your eyes. They dart this way and that, trying to keep up with all the wonder and newness. They step tenderly, not daring to push too far, but still eager for more. They feel like babies, seeing everything for the first time. They recognize things, here is a flower, and there a person, but see them as if from an entirely different angle. As if you are tiny and looking up at a beautifully large and brand new world. A brand new purple world. Your eyes dance, and you smile with the pit of your stomach. A deep, true smile that makes your entire body feel warm, like you could explode with anticipation and experience and excitement. A smile that only stops because it has no where else to go; it has reached its full potential. It’s full potential in a brand new purple world.
And when you take the glasses off, everything around you slips back to the way it was. Everything its own color, a little duller, but more clear. The purple tint is gone, in your hand to be put on again, but you don’t put them back on. You put them down. And you walk away, into the way the world is, with just a remembered echo of the way it could be.
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Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,834 Reviews
Hello
it was very.. Pretty. And colourful.. Purples and flowers and words like "bright" and "explode."
just nice. Remember: show, don't tell, its a rule everyone struggles with I'm sure.
It didn't however create much of an emotional response, I wasn't interested to read further or wonder about the person about the character behind the purple tinted glasses.
it was.. Nice
Keep writing
This isn't a story. It's a list. A list of reasons why you like to wear purple-tinted glasses.
I like the "Hello Darling" part. Then everything after that is just...well, pardon the pun...purple prose. According to wikipedia, "purple prose" is:
"...used to describe passages, or sometimes entire literary works, written in prose so overly extravagant, ornate, or flowery as to break the flow and draw attention to itself. Purple prose is sensually evocative beyond the requirements of its context. It also refers to writing that employs certain rhetorical effects such as exaggerated sentiment or pathos in an attempt to manipulate a reader's response."
It just goes above and beyond in trying to get us to feel something when you're just throwing words at us. But what you haven't given us is a means to understand what you're saying, a vehicle to empathize. There is no character to understand. There is no story to follow. It's just a list of characteristics that don't go very far.
And then the glasses come off, and we're feeling somber again, but you don't give us any inclination to understand why it's somber. So what if the colors are duller and clearer? What motivates us to feel this? And why does the character try to put them back on, but change his/her mind? What is the reason for any of this?
If you want to create a character that has these ideas, great, then do it. But make him/her a full character, with motivations and reasons for doing what he/she does. Otherwise, it's about as full as reading the info page on someone's facebook profile. "Does this, does that, is a part of this school" without anything to make it a full picture of who the person is.