Published December 12, 2009
Chicago...
overwhelming, beautiful
city.
everything is new to me
it's easy to find color
hiding in between the big,
gray buildings trying to reach the sky.
there's love here, too
because everywhere i look
couples are holding hands
or kissing
right there in public
not something you see in
my small town.
And the shops! everywhere,
i could go anywhere and buy
anything. Grab something
from Chanel, if I wanted to.
The people here add to the
atmosphere,
this windy city.
Obviously they are everywhere,
walking kissing holding hands
smoking by the window with the
blinds up, for the
whole world to see,
or making bacon shirtless
while the cat claws at the window,
wanting back
in.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,311 Literary Works • 674,340 Reviews
No problem. If you are not getting reviews on other works of yours feel free to PM me.
hey, thanks for reading my poem...
thanks for pointing out my usage of the word city... I think I need some different words that mean the same thing.
and those words without spaces was a mistake. haha, i'll run and fix it.
So, if my corrections sound right to you, please change them. But, if not, then your poem doesn't make much sense.
I mean, I like it. It tells your opinion of the beautiful city you live in, but, where is the imagery? If I were you, I would toss in some lines that make your poem stand out so it doesn't just sound like a paragraph.
Chao!
~Classy