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Love Me

by KaPo21


Love me
That is all I ask 
Talk to me, that is your one little task
Look at me Say something, please! Give me a sign that tells me that you care Give me a sign so that I know you are there I do not want to keep running It is not just your looks that make you so stunning I wrote you a note I would take blood from my hands Just to see your body stand Say something Anything I just need to hear your voice sing


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30 Reviews


Points: 62
Reviews: 30

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Tue Jan 28, 2020 6:42 am
vagrant wrote a review...



Woah, interesting!

I totally get the vibe you are trying to convey in these words.

It is very upsetting when someone who means the world to you doesn't invest in your relationship as much you do. All we need sometimes is that our partner looks at us, smiles at us and talks to us. Sometimes all we need is a simple hug from them to get the strength to fight our battles.

You conveyed the emotions beautifully. The speaker's love is evident in the lines. Just a small hiccup is the typo you made in the very last line (heaqr should be hear xp). Other than that everything is fine and fab.

The writing style and structure is also very appealing and all in all, it is a nice read.

Keep up the good work!
Cheers!




KaPo21 says...


Thanks, I changed the "heaqr issue.



vagrant says...


I just realized that my latest poem that I published here is titled 'Love Me Not' and yours is 'love Me' xp



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16 Reviews


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Reviews: 16

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Mon Dec 23, 2019 4:47 pm
SuperOriginalName wrote a review...



Great literary piece, @KaPo21! It's wonderful! I did notice a couple of things while reading, however. Remember, there's always room for improvement!
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Tone
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The tone of the poem was overly dramatic. This can be a good thing, or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it. It's very powerful. You could turn it down a notch, especially in the fourth stanza, but otherwise, it's perfect.

Typo
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This is quite obvious, but in the very last line, I noticed that "heqr" is spelled wrong (should be "hear").

Punctuation
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After the first stanza, I am unable to spot a single comma or period. This wasn't that noticeable at first, so it could pass, I just realized it while informing you on the typo.
I will only advise you to pay more attention to it in the future.

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Other than those few things, this poem was practically perfect! I can't wait to read more of you work in the future. ;)

Happy Holidays from
@SuperOriginalName!




KaPo21 says...


Thank you for this awesome review!!!





It was no problem at all! It%u2019s a lovely literary piece, and I think you deserve more recognition.





*It is

Sorry, that is just a glitch.



KaPo21 says...


Love the profile picture



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Points: 162
Reviews: 55

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Sat Dec 21, 2019 2:36 am
brookeallo wrote a review...



I loved the meaning of the poem and the beginning. Closer to the end of the poem it started to stop flowing as well. The part that goes, "I would take blood from my hands
Just to see your body stand." That didn't make too much since to me. In the last line hear is mispelled but thats probaly just a typo. I also am kind of confused I just feel like the last line where I just need to hear your voice sing could make more since if it was something related to like please love me instead of that.




KaPo21 says...


Thank you for reviewing!



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Thu Dec 19, 2019 10:46 pm
alliyah wrote a review...



ohh how did you get it to post in the typewriter font?

Definitely an interesting poem, the stanzas at the end got a little dramatic and I don't think I'd go straight to "You can have my blood" because that's just so dramatic, and some will take that as being a bit cliche - maybe you could use a different less-harsh metaphor there?

There's also the little spelling mistake in the last line of "heaqr" -> "hear".

Overall, I think the poem could definitely also use some specificity with just why the speaker is so engrossed with the subject - we know it's more than their looks, but what is it about that them that they like? Knowing this as a reader, would help us connect with the poem too.

Keep on writing, and congrats on this work being in the featured works!

- alliyah




KaPo21 says...


You press the weird p looking thing and it should be somewhere in there. Thx for the review!!!



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25 Reviews


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Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:49 am
RanaNoodles wrote a review...



Hola!
This poem was really beautiful and deep. I can’t tell exactly what’s happening, which might just be me interpreting stuff weirdly, but I think the ambiguity actually worked. It kept the whole thing kind of mysterious. I can’t tell if somebody is trying to get somebody else to forgive them or grieving over a dead love, but again, it works.
The whole thing was powerful. Every break was where it was meant to be and it flowed really well. That kept the focus on the actual words of the poem and not how choppy it read or whatnot.
The only thing I could critique is the q in hear. I don’t think that was meant to be there...?
Anyways, keep on doing what you’re doing!
-Rana Noodles




KaPo21 says...


Thankyou!



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90 Reviews


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Wed Dec 18, 2019 4:00 pm
LZPianoGirl wrote a review...



This poem was incredible! I loved reading it and it flowed really well. The plot is great and you obviously thought about it a lot. You only misspelled one word, "hear" in the last line, you put heaqr. Easy mistake, easy to fix. Otherwise our grammar, spelling, and punctuation was great. Well, you didn't even use punctuation, which is fine for this poem. You formatted it very well. Keep on writing and Merry (early) Christmas!!





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