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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Hi Justlittleolme!
This poem did make sense to me,I liked it it was short and sweet!is please let ther be more referring to an afterlife like heaven or something,or just more to life in general? The only thing I have to say is many a bit more punctuation? The first and third stanzas are fine just maybe some commas in the second one?apart from that it was brilliant. I'd give it a 10/10.Well done!
-hanorah
Thank you!
It makes some sense to me, more than I feel you give yourself credit for.
reminded me of standing on a pier looking over Lake Michigan one summer's night. I feel that the memory was triggered because the two bits of time are similar in the sense of two creative minds wondering about a Creative Mind behind the world.
feels like an expression of hope for an afterlife. Am I anywhere close?
This has a lot more going for it than just rhyming, if you ask me.
Oh, wow...Haha ^^' I think I put a little bit more of my soul in this than I meant to. Your actually very close now that I look at it, I often meditate and think on those very ideas and hopes, interesting how it came out on paper without me meaning it. Haha. Glad you liked it.
Cute. The first stanza is my favorite. The second one is okay, but it is just that "roasted marshmallows on the fire" is so cliche. The third one needs the most work, but to be honest this just seems like some fun, cute little warm-up poem to me, and I would just let it be.
Thank you!
Sorry about being cliche, I was writing from personal experiences. Some of my best memories are tied to nights outside roasting marshmallows on a fire. 