z

Young Writers Society



Masquerade chapter 2

by Just_Listen


The sound of elegant, ball gowns swishing together and boring, steady waltz music was what I heard as I arrived at the top of the staircase. I looked down at the fancily decorated ball room. The gold tiled ceiling had huge crystal chandeliers hanging off of it which cast a soft glow over the room. One set of doors were open and they led to a huge terrace where there were white lights outlining it. There was gold lining around all the other bay windows and the curtains that normally covered them were opened so the room seemed more elegant and open.

Another ball, I thought to myself with a heavy sigh. It’s the same as all the others, a masquerade ball; just liked we planned almost 4 years ago.

“Princess Juliana,” the announcer called out my name as I slowly, gracefully made my way down the red carpeted stairs. I reached the bottom where the escort my parents had assigned for me was waiting.

“Juliana,” he greeted me politely after bowing. He then reached for my hand and led me out into the middle of the ball room.

“Oh I’m sorry,” he said as we began dancing, “I never got a chance to introduce myself. My name is Alexander, but you can call me Alex.”

“Very nice to meet you,” I answered stiffly; all of my features were tense and tight. I tried not to show it but I could tell it showed some because of the odd look he gave me. I’m always tense around the escorts my parents pick because I know nothing about them. I was especially tense around Alex though because something about him was so familiar, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.

“So, where do you go to school?” he asked trying to start a conversation. I just started at him blankly. I couldn’t believe he had just asked me that question.

“Ummm…,” I started. How was I supposed to answer that? Thankfully, I didn’t have to.

“Oh, wait, you probably have private tutors and everything, right?” he interrupted my train of thought.

“Yeah…” I started out slowly, “That’s it exactly!” I finished with a big smile and I wanted to kick myself for not thinking of that sooner!

“That must suck,” he sympathized, “Not being able to talk to your friends and having to sitting through class non-stop with no breaks in between.”

“Yeah, I guess it does,” I said with a sigh.

“What, you actually like having school by yourself?” he questioned with raised eyebrows and a surprised look on his face. Oh great, I thought, I probably just dug myself in a hole.

“Well, I don’t have people bugging me all the time and asking for stuff and my assignments never have to be in on time, so that’s a plus,” I lied through my teeth.

He laughed, “I guess it is. You need to experience real school at some point in your life though.” I tried to think of a response for that but fortunately I didn’t have time to because at that moment someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and spotted a girl in a pale purple silk, slimming dress with a lighter purple sparkly mask to match looking at me with a face that held a smile that went up to her eyes.

“Princess Juliana,” she curtsied to me with laughter ringing in her voice. My eyes grew very large with excitement as I recognized who the voice belonged to: Kali!

“Good evening,” I curtsied back, my voice a little higher than normal because I couldn’t contain my excitement. Then I remembered that Alex probably was very confused. So I turned my attention back towards him.

“I’m sorry Alex, could you excuse us for a moment?” I asked him politely and shot him a huge smile.

He looked a little confused for a moment but responded with a grin, “Sure, I’ll go get us something to drink. Would you like something also?” he asked Kali.

“I’d love something, thank you,” she responded politely. As soon as he left, I threw my arms around her for I hadn’t seen her in a long time. We both squealed with delight.

“I haven’t seen you in forever!” She said, her cheeks flushed with excitement, “By the way, I love your dress!” My friend and I picked out this strapless dress that was made of three different colors of red and two different kinds of material. There was a light red sash that had a darker red flower on it. Then the bottom flowed out from the middle with a split where the top two layers were silk and the bottom was taffeta. It was my favorite dress that was ever made for me.

“Thanks! It’s my favorite!” I said with a faint smile as I remembered the shopping experience I had that day with Mary. Mary is a girl I met on my first day of school here in Cedonia. She has strawberry blonde hair and ice blue eyes. She came up to me and just started jabbering away my first day there. My first thought was that this girl was crazy but, boy, was I way off. We became friends fast and started doing everything together.

I invited her dress shopping one day and didn’t think twice about. She asked what it was for and I spilled out my darkest secret, that I was secretly a princess. She didn’t make a big deal of it or anything though. She treated me exactly the same way as she did before she knew I was a princess. I was very grateful I could tell someone about it so I wouldn’t have to keep it in all the time. She was going to come tonight but she had other plans.

“So who’s the cute guy?” Kali asked interrupting my thoughts.

“His name is Alexander and…” my voice trailed off as I saw him making his way across the dancers to the corner where Kali and I stood. He looked so familiar earlier but I couldn’t remember where I saw him before. But then I took a good look at him on his way back and noticed his long legs and then it clicked. Alex…Alexander…, oh my gosh! He goes to my school, he’s one of the most popular guys there! I gasped in realization of who I was at the ball with.

“Jules, what’s wrong?” kali suddenly asked concern filling her soft brown eyes.

“I just realized something,” I started whispering frantically because he was getting closer, “That’s Alex. Remember me telling you about the most popular guy in our grade? Well, that’s him!” Her eyes widened as she looked at him.

“That’s him!?! Whoa.”

“What am I going to do?” I started freaking out, “He can’t recognize me!”

“Calm down. Maybe you could just fake sick of something?” she suggested.

“I have to go find my parents. Kali will you occupy him for a bit please? Just don’t tell him your name,” I begged. And with that, I was off. I met Alex halfway and told him I’d be right back. I then went to my parents table off in the back corner.

“Juliana!” my father stood up to greet me when he saw me approaching, “Did you like your surprise?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

“Oh yes, very much. Thank you,” I said with a big smile and a hug. “But I have a problem.” My father’s face filled with concern.

“What’s the matter? Are you OK? Is Kali?” He asked firing off a million questions.

“Yes, we’re fine. It’s just my escort…”

“What about him?” my father interrupted, “Is he being…”

“No, no of course not. I just recognized who he was though. He’s from my school. I can’t have him recognize me dad,” I pleaded.

“Oh well that could be a problem,” he stated. “Well I guess you could say you’re sick and say your parents ordered you to go back to your room.”

“Thanks daddy!” I said enthusiastically. For once I’d actually be able to leave a ball early. I swiftly walked away to find Kali. I spotted them exactly where I left them. Kali was talking away and Alex was looking around the room shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. I chuckled quietly to myself. As I approached them, I stumbled a little. Alex reached out to steady me and I tried to turn pale and weak.

“Juliana, are you OK?” he asked nervously.

I moaned, “I don’t feel so good.” Even Kali looked a little convinced.

“Let me help you to your room then or get you some help or something,” he said urgently.

“No, no, I’ll be fine. I’ll just have her help me. I’m so sorry Alex. Maybe we can do this another time?” I asked.

“Sure we will,” he said then walked toward the exit. Before getting too far away he turned around and hurried back to us. “Wait, may I give you my number and you can call or text me sometime?” He asked his face turning a little red.

I giggled a little, “Sure,” I responded. With that I summoned a guard and they gave him a pencil and paper which he wrote his number on and gave to me.

“Well I hope you feel better,” he said before walking away for good. I couldn’t wait to get upstairs and call Mary.


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12 Reviews


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Reviews: 12

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Wed Jun 24, 2009 4:49 am
peace-love-dream wrote a review...



Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!! I like this one why haven't you added
any more to it yet? I know that you are writing it outside
of here to but I can't be there to read that part so put it
online!!!!!!!!! haha i just want to be in this story lol and
I'm going to post something and need points so i writing
this INCREDIBLEY inciteful review. haha sorry oh yeah and
are you busy any time after july eighteenth? if you are I
will plan the Crazy Pins party around that.




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12 Reviews


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Thu Apr 16, 2009 5:56 pm
peace-love-dream wrote a review...



Hey you! I am not bery happy right now because i believe
that you told me you just added the part where you meet
me... I'm not seeing anyone named Lauren in there!Ugh
this is very frustratomg because I want to read more but
you haven't added any! Add some more very, very, very
soon please!




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Mon Apr 13, 2009 12:33 am
live.laugh.love wrote a review...



I love it! I thought it was kind of ironic how you switched my part and marys part around =P shes known you longer maybe that means you and i will be friends longer =) anyways, i love it! you should really hurry up and write more so i can read the rest cause im sorta sitting on the edge of my chair right now! suspense =P lol. love ya girl!




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Mon Mar 16, 2009 3:01 am
Musicaloo7311 wrote a review...



Hi! It's Music! :)

The sound of elegant[s],[/s] ball gowns swishing together and boring, steady [s]sound of[/s] waltz music was [s]the sound[/s]what I heard as I arrived at the top of the staircase. You used sound three times in one sentence, you silly girl!


“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said as we began dancing, “I never got a chance to introduce myself. My name is Alexander, but you can call me Alex.”


“Very nice to meet you,” I answered stiffly[s],[/s]; all of my features were tense and tight. I tried not to show it, but I could tell it showed some because of the odd look he gave me. I’m always tense around the escorts my parents pick because I know nothing about them. I was especially tense around Alex, though, because something about him was so familiar, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.


“So, where do you go to school?” he asked, trying to start a conversation. I just started at him blankly. I couldn’t believe he had just asked me that question.


“Ummm…[s],[/s]” I started. How was I supposed to answer that[s], but[/s]? [s]t[/s]Thankfully, I didn’t have to.


“Oh, wait, you probably have private tutors and everything, right?” [s]H[/s]he interrupted my train of thought.


“Yeah…” I started out slowly[s],[/s]. “That’s it exactly!” I finished with a big smile, and I wanted to kick myself for not thinking of that sooner!


“That must stink,” he sympathized[s],[/s]. “Not being able to talk to your friends and having to sitting through class non-stop with no [s]brakes[/s]breaks in between.”


Oh, great, I thought, I probably just dug myself in a hole.


“Well, I don’t have people bugging me all the time and asking for stuff, and my assignments never have to be in on time, so that’s a plus,” I lied through my teeth.


He laughed, “[s]Haha, [/s]I guess it is. You need to experience real school at some point in your life, though.” I tried to think of a response for that, but, fortunately[/b] I didn’t have to, because at that moment someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and spotted a girl in a pale, purple, silk, slimming dress with a lighter purple sparkly mask to match, looking at me with a face that held a smile that went up to her eyes.


“Princess Juliana,” she curtsied to me with laughter ringing in her voice. My eyes grew very large with excitement as I recognized who the voice belonged to[s]![/s]: Kali!


“Good evening,” I curtsied back, my voice a little higher than normal, because I couldn’t contain my excitement. Then I remembered that Alex probably was very confused. So I turned my attention back towards him.


“I’m sorry, Alex, could you excuse us for a moment?” I asked him politely and shot him a huge smile.


“I’d love something, thank you,” she responded politely. As soon as he left, I threw my arms around her, for I hadn’t seen her in a long time. We both squealed with delight.


“I haven’t seen you in forever!” [s]S[/s]she said, her cheeks flushed with excitement[s],[/s]. “By the way, I love your dress!”


My first thought was that [s]this girl[/s]she was crazy but, boy, was I way off. We became friends fast and started doing everything together.


She asked what it was for, and I spilled out my darkest secret, that I was secretly a princess. She didn’t make a big deal of it or anything, though. She treated me exactly the same way as she did before she knew I was a princess. I was very grateful I could tell someone about it so I wouldn’t have to keep it in all the time. She was going to come tonight, but she had other plans. I’ll have to tell Kali that tonight, I thought to myself.


“So, who’s the cute guy?” Kali asked interrupting my thoughts.


He looked so familiar earlier, but I couldn’t remember where I saw him before. But then I took a good look at him on his way back and noticed his long legs and then it clicked.


He goes to my school[s],[/s]; he’s one of the most popular guys there! I gasped in realization of who I was at the ball with.


“Jules, what’s wrong?” [s]k[/s]Kali suddenly asked, concern filling her soft brown eyes.


“I just realized something,” I started whispering frantically because he was getting closer[s],[/s]. “That’s Alex. Remember me telling you about the most popular guy in our grade? Well, that’s him!” Her eyes widened as she looked at him.


“I have to go find my parents. Kali, will you occupy him for a bit, please? Just don’t tell him your name,” I begged. And with that, I was off. I met Alex halfway and told him I’d be right back. I then went to my parents' table off in the back corner.


“Juliana!” my father greeted me when he saw me approaching[s],[/s]. “Did you like your surprise?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye.


“Oh, yes, very much. Thank you,” I said with a big smile and a hug. “But, I have a problem.” My father’s face filled with concern. You're beginning to use this phrase a bit to much. Try to come up with a new way to say "filled with concern".


“What’s the matter? Are you [s]OK[/s][b]okay? Is Kali?” [s]H[/s]he asked, firing off a million questions.


“No, no; of course not. I just recognized who he was, though. He’s from my school. I can’t have him recognize me, [s]d[/s]Dad,” I pleaded.


“Oh, well, that could be a problem,” he stated. “Well, I guess you could say you’re sick, and say your parents ordered you to go back to your room.”


“Thanks, [s]d[/s]Daddy!” I said enthusiastically. For once, I’d actually be able to leave a ball early. I swiftly walked away to find Kali and Alex. I spotted them exactly where I left them. Kali was talking away and Alex was looking around the room, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. I chuckled quietly to myself. As I approached them, I stumbled a little. Alex reached out to steady me, and I tried to turn pale and weak.


“Juliana, are you [s]OK[/s]okay?” he asked nervously.


“Let me help you to your room, then, or get you some help or something,” he said.


“No, no, I’ll be fine. I’ll just have her help me. I’m so sorry, Alex. Maybe we can do this another time?” I asked.


“Sure we will,” he said and then walked toward the exit. Before getting too far away, he turned around and hurried back to us. “Wait, may I give you my number and you can call me sometime?” [s]H[/s]he asked, his face turning a little red.


I giggled a little[s],[/s]. “[s]s[/s]Sure,” I responded. With that, I summoned a guard, [s]and they gave him[/s]who gave Alex a pencil and paper, which he wrote his number on and gave to me.


“Well, I hope you feel better,” he said before walking away for good. I couldn’t wait to get upstairs and call Mary.


Hi! Sorry it took me so long to respond. I went away for the weekend.

Anyway, I thought it was a pretty good chapter. I would've liked a bit more description, though. Such as, when Juliana goes to talk to her father, is he sitting alone? Or is he sitting by a multitude of people so that they have to use hushed tones? It would be good for you to include such things.

Overall, fairly good piece! With some work, it could be great. :)

Keep it up! Love,
Music. :)




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Sun Mar 15, 2009 6:43 pm
peace-love-dream wrote a review...



I love it so much! I have to say though.....excuse me but I would like to be in this story too thank you very much! haha and you'd better not make me the bad guy! the only thing I find wrong with it is the guy's name, but for one reason only if you catch my drift.





"The trouble with Borrowing another mind was, you always felt out of place when you got back to your own body, and Granny was the first person ever to read the mind of a building. Now she was feeling big and gritty and full of passages. 'Are you all right?' Granny nodded, and opened her windows. She extended her east and west wings and tried to concentrate on the tiny cup held in her pillars."
— Terry Pratchett, Discworld: Equal Rites